I have an almost 8 yr old son with severe ADHD. I know this is overly diagnosed by dr's who don't want to deal with hyper kids and drug them, but honestly, my son could be the poster child for the disorder.

I have trouble disciplining him because it seems like in 30 seconds he just "forgets" what I told him to do and goes off to do something else, no matter what it is. It could be something as simple as doing homework or unloading the dishwasher, or even just checking the mail for me (he's forgotten to bring the mail to me from the mailbox on his way back!). I don't want to over-discipline him, but even in punishment situations, it doesn't seem to last.

I don't know what to do, I'm getting so frustrated. I don't want to medicate him to death, and the meds don't even seem to do much. He's been in Special Services at school since Pre-K (now 2nd grade) and they have the same problems with his attention as I do.

Anyone else out there gone through this and had any success?

I have a son with "mild ADHD", actually diagnosed by a doctor. He is going thru problems at school, "daydreamer". I know what you mean about him forgetting, it's more, that he is not focusing, does not have the ability to concentrate and keep his mind on one single thing. His mind is racing. The thing I try to do, is accept that he has a problem, and realize it is not his fault, he is like this. I try to never punish him for what he has no control over, unless he has done something that I know he knows he shouldn't doing.

Me and his mother are going to be taking him to see a psychiatrist (sp?) within the next couple weeks to see what her diagnosis will be and what medicine he'll need. The first doctor was only the children's family doctor. I'll keep you posted. I don't mind giving you more feed back. =) Bill

I can totally relate to you, here is a copy of my first post on these boards. It is long but it will sure show you that you are not alone. My Isaac is now 6 he will be 7 in June.



Posted 13 September 2006 11:50 AM
This is my first post and I would like everyone to let me tell all a little bit about us. Isaac is 6 years old. I am going to be 32 tomorrow and had him when I was 25. I was an active drug user at the time. I went into rehab 3 weeks before Isaac was born and have been clean ever since. Isaac was born at Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia and had to go through Methadone Detox. He was released from the hospital a month after he was born. His birthday is 6/10/2000 and he came home the day after my birthday which was 07/09/2000. He was a whopping 8lbs, 7oz. Amazing considering when I went into the rehab 3 weeks earlier I had an ultrasound and they told me he was a little over a pound. He was just beautiful. I on the other hand had major complications during delivery. He ripped me open inside and I developed a Hematoma. I almost died and had to be put into a medically induced coma for 21 days, I received blood transfusions for 5 days straight and had 3 major surgeries. I went home about a week before Isaac. I went to a rehab that was for mothers and children so Isaac came home with me. Our story is truly a miracle. You see I was giving him up for adoption; I didn't see a positive change in my life anytime soon. When I was in the hospital, situations beyond my control (I was in a coma) left him with me. When I awoke it just was that he was still there with me and we were going to be together. I then made the decision to go back to the rehab. You see, the only reason I went in there in the first place was because I didn't want drugs in my system when he was born. I was totally selfish. All that changed. I completed the program and went to a transitional housing program. I then moved on my own November 1st 2002. I have been clean of all street drugs for over 6 years and I detoxed off of methadone and have been totally clean of all substances now for a year and 4 months. I have worked hard, got off welfare, went to school, got a job and I learned how to handle responsibility. I rent my house, pay my bills, even straightened my credit a bit. I am working on getting it at a good level. I am proud of myself and I love my life. I changed for me and my son with the support of counselors, friends and family.
My son has ADHD and ODD. He is incredible hyper and very unfocused. He made it through Kindergarten without getting thrown out but was always in trouble. I had to leave work a lot to pick him up and make arrangements for babysitters when he got suspended. He has been thrown out of 3 different daycare�s the one before the last was hard. He had been there for a while and they really worked with me as long as I was getting help and therapy for him. The director left and the new director was not as tolerant. This past May they threw him out. They didn't even give me time to find another center. I took him in on a Thursday morning and they said that today would be his last day. I was crushed. Isaac's behavior was always a problem especially emotionally but now it is starting to threaten my job. That would directly effect our lives in every way. It has always been that every day when I pick him up from daycare or school I heard problems. Isaac did this, Isaac did that. It weighs me down a lot. I often cry and feel defeated as a mother. I feel so guilty for his behavior and have a hard time disciplining him because of it. I love him so much and it truly seems like every one else who deals with him hates him. They never have anything good to report until the break me down so bad I cry and then out of pity they will say something nice. Isaac has had a couple of good teachers and for one reason or another they never stuck around long.
Recently they have started him on concerta which is a time released Ritalin. They tried a couple until this one which seemed to be working ok. They said in his summer camp that he was more focused. It was not effecting his hyperactivity though. He was still very hyper just more focused. But this helped. I am in a relationship with a guy who helps me be consistent with disciplining Isaac. We try to be a happy family but Isaac makes it so hard to do fun family things. We go to the park and always some parent comes complaining about him and I feel we have to leave. Isaac has a very overbearing personality. He is so smart and so funny. He just thinks he is the best and that he can control everything. The funny thing is he cannot control this. He is always in trouble. He is isolated from groups a lot. I feel so bad for him. He doesn't even realize that people only complain about him. His ego is so secure that he doesn't even know that people don't like him. Even the kids don't really want to play with him. He has no friends. He plays on and off with them. There is more fighting than anything. It is so frustrating. I am at my wits end with him. Sometimes I feel like packing up and running away. Taking him where he is not known by anyone. He already had a reputation and is labeled. I hate that. I could use support and an opportunity to vent at times. The next big event was when Isaac got suspended from Summer Camp for 3 days for throwing rocks at windows and a window was broken. He went back to camp after the 3 days on Friday and punched another child in the nose and made him bleed. Surprise???? They threw him out. Again. I am at my wits end and so I called the therapist and asked for her help. She recommended taking him to the crisis center. I did and they admitted him into Belmont hospital. They said He would be there for 2 to 4 weeks. I was devastated. Hurt more than words can explain. Isaac on the other hand seemed happy to go. I don't know if he is putting up a front and really does care, or if he really doesn't care. Either way I am so hurt. I feel like I failed as a parent. I feel like I don't know how to be his mom. It doesn't feel too good. I am so tired. I was in hospitals from early Saturday morning July 22nd until 4:00 in the morning Sunday. It was a long process and then I had to go back with clothes and supplies for him on Sunday. This was a very draining experience. I missed my baby so much and couldn�t loose the feeling that I was forgetting something. My job has been very accepting of all of this craziness and I am glad for that. Without an income I would be done. I am emotionally spent, physically spent and add on financially spent and down the drain I go. My man, family and friends have been extremely supportive. I am very appreciative for all of them. My boyfriend sat with me all of those long hours in the most uncomfortable chairs you could imagine sitting in. He never complained. He was just there for me. Thank God for him. He held me up in my time of need. I also had my mother and best friend Barbie who I could have counted on too. I am lucky, and I know it..
Isaac was put on Adorol which is a stimulant used for hyperactive kids. It didn�t seem to be working in the beginning. They were going to increase the dose until they got him on a stable dose. He seemed to think that it was one big party. He had kids around him all day. He couldn't have been any happier. He would say that he missed me, which made me feel good. For the first couple of days he didn't seem to even care about me. Then he was kissing and hugging on me. At least it made me feel good to know that he cared about me. I care so much about him. I am dying inside. I feel so horrible that I don't even know what to do. I wanted to just make things right. I didn't know if I could handle it all. Isaac had been there over 4 weeks. We had this whole drama with the fact that we had a vacation planned out to go to North Carolina on August 12th. They were saying he wouldn�t be able to go. I was devastated. At this point they now had him on 20mg of time released Adoral, and 50mg of Serequel at night and 12.5mg in the day. I don't know how much of a change it has made. He was still hyper, and got very moody at 2:30 everyday. But..... He doesn't get so frustrated and angry anymore. I could actually play with him without fights or crying. Isaac is usually so easily frustrated that EVERYTIME you play or interact with him it ends with him yelling throwing things and running into him room slamming him door. I never got to really play with him. Now though he loves playing cards and we can play for a whole 2 hours and there is no fighting. It is wonderful. We laugh and have FUN. Real fun !!!!!!! His obsessive compulsive disorder symptoms are coming back though. When Isaac was a baby he was so incredibly organized that it prevented him from having fun. Some of those behaviors are coming back. He is so obsessive about so many things. It can be a little disturbing.
Sometimes I think that I regret putting him on any medications. I do believe he needed something, I just don't know what that something is.
I am scared for his future; I don't know what choices to make. It is too much for me at times. Some moments I feel I did the right thing, and other moments I feel I did the worst thing possible. I guess only time can tell at this point


The story only gets better at one point when I went to see Isaac at the hospital he was being real mean and talking real sarcastically to me and I told him to stop and he wouldn't. Finally I reached over and tapped him in the forehead with my 3 fingertips. He didn't even flinch, but he did get himself under control. The staff however reported me to the Department Of Human Services. Great just what I need. I put him in there for help and they in turn hurt us. I am so upset about this. Anyway they came out to talk to Isaac, came to the house to see me and it seems as if it is no big deal. But my record is tainted. I don't like that. Anyway, I am expecting him home tonight and for now I hold onto that.
Isaac came home on the 11th and we left for vacation to the Outer Banks in North Carolina on Saturday. The drive was a little over 8 hours but it did not seem that long. The Vacation was a complete success. We did a lot. The weather was beautiful and the beaches were great. Isaac was very well behaved!!!! A total different child. His personality is the same (thank God) but he listens now and follows direction better. He is much calmer and happier. Not so easily frustrated. I couldn't have been any happier.

Isaac started at Horsham Clinic, which is a short-term partial hospitalization program. He started on the 21st of September. He seemed to be doing ok there. On Friday September 8th I went to Stepping-stones to see if I can get him in there. That is a long-term partial hospitalization program. He would do 1st grade there. He really needs that. He has no social skills and although he now is calmer and more attentive, I would like for him to learn the social skills before being mainstreamed in a regular school. As I know, it didn't work for him last year. Isaac seems to be ok with the medications. They have already changed his doses he is now on a 25 mg Aderall in the am and 12.5mg of Serequell at 8am, and 12pm. Then he gets 50 mg of Serequell at 8pm. Personally I think that is all way too much, but he doesn't seem drugged at all.
The other night he said to me, "Hey mom, you could always give me another serequell". I hate that. He couldn't sleep and now he has an understanding of drugs. He figured if I gave him more serequell he might be able to sleep. They did that to him in the hospital. At Belmont they used to make him repeat what he was taking. They would say "this is 50mg of Serequell" And then have him repeat it. They would also tell him what the medications did to him and what they were for. I never wanted any of that. I just wanted to give it to him and let that be it.


Isaac was accepted into Stepping-stones He starts today Wednesday September 13, 2006. This makes me so happy. They have a lot more than school to offer. They have behavior modification, anger management, behavior therapy and also therapists and doctors on staff. They use a points and rewards system, which is seeming to work well for Isaac. I am feeling better and my little boy is so much better. His whole attitude is different. He has much more patience and tolerance. He still has a problem socializing with children his own age. Can't figure out why. He is great around adults or even older children. He needs to get that taken care of and I stressed that this was a major concern of mine. I am hoping everything works out.
There were Slight problems with the van picking him up and the time frame with me having to leave for work. Other than that it seemed to all be working out. Isaac does not like his new day care. I wish he did. He wants me to wait there with him until the van comes. I was late for work yesterday and today because of it. I can't be doing that. Not good.
This weekend we went to my moms for a block party. Isaac had a horrible day. He was so incredibly emotional, frustrated, and aggressive. I don't get it. The school also says that Isaac doesn't know how to have fun. He gets upset and frustrated. He is such a control freak. If he feels he is loosing control, he gets so frustrated. What can I do about that? He was almost unbearable Saturday. He had his medicine. I don't know what to do when he gets like that. I can calm him down at the moment but then as soon as any little thing goes wrong he is right back in that mood. Crying, clenching his fists, yelling, screaming, and he turns so red. He acts like an overtired two-year-old. He had enough rest the night before. Guess we will continue to talk to his therapists and teachers at school. Try to work on that.
End of post.....

A lot more has gone on since then, Isaac is now in Stepping Stones which is a long term partial hospitalization program. He will be there until September I guess. Then next year he will be back to regular public school. He is not really doing so well behavior wise. Only difference is the school he is in is a very patient one. They tolerate him. The regular schools wont. I will be right back where I started from, or at least that is my biggest fear.
Hope this helps you at least feel not so alone. Jen.

Memory and attention are different. My oldest can play video games for hours but can't remember where he left his keys or phone. There is short term and long term memory and he probably has a problem with the short term memory and there are ways to help that. I would also suggest that you let him run, jump, yell, climb, any unorganized activity.

You also need to find out what he is most interested in as that can be used a form of reward or discipline.

I was a boy a long time ago and of my 6 kids 4 are boys.

4 boys, Wow !!!! I am so lucky to just have one. He alone is turning my life upside down !!
Once again, WOW. I feel for you. You must have the patience of a Saint. Jen.

not the same i know, but my nephew is high funcitioning autistic and gets sorta ancy which can relate to adhd. one of the methods they use for the dinner table (and well any time he is supposed to be sitting even has one at school) is this bumpy disc that he sits on. i'll see if i can find a link for it.

apparently it gives some sensory relief which helps the kids focus. it is supposed to work really with adhd and my nephews teacher is suggesting it to tons of parents after my sister brought one in... off to find a link for ya.

here it is! the disco sit. (package is really god awful... very 70s pics on it)

but if really does work wonders (for sitting at least) ... that way he can do homework a little more easily..

oh ... and chewing is supposed to help also

(i don't know why autism and adhd run so hand-in-hand sometimes) ... my nephew will chew gum or eat peanuts while doing homework and somehow it helps to keep him on point

hope some of this helps

how did i not put the link in.... duh


http://www.fitter1.com/disco-sit.html