I am a single mother of 3 boys and I am having a little problem with displine with them. They have been acting out in anger when they do not get what they want at that very moment. My youngest son has to hit or kick something today he put a small hole in my wall.My oldest son doesn't act 14 he acts like he's nine years old. The past 2 weeks they have been really trying my patience. Sometimes I get so mad i start screaming and hollering I don't like doing that its not seting an example but i feel it's better than thee alternative ABUSE. (Hitting) I was an abused child and I'm afraid. Does anyone have any suggestion. I feel my world crashing that I cannot communicate properly with my boys they are great boys they just seem to want to push my buttons everyonce in a while.

I don't have that much experience in this area, but I would highly recommend trying to talk to someone, private counselor, their guidance counselor, their dr. I am sure one of those would have some great advice for you. You don't want this to get out of hand and become a habit, it will be way too hard to keep them under control then. Well good luck to you and take care.

Please seek some help like Hutch suggested, I do have experience in what you are going through andits only by talking and gaining support that you will get through this. You have passed the first hurdle by admitting that you were abused as a child. My mother was a nightmare I could not even begin to descibe - when I was pregnant I remember crying that I thought the child would turn me into my mother - luckily I have had support (all those years ago.) People don't understand the inner fear of becoming an abuser. But it is a fact because your mother/or your abuser taught you how to react to stress. It is hard to draw the line between what is normal and what is excessive because of what you have been taught - sometimes it is not until your children get to the age of when you remember incidents of abuse related to yourself that the pressure kicks in - for example you may remember the way your abuser reacted to you as a teenager and this is why you are feeling the pressure now because you only know how to deal with the situation based on you experience with your parents. A councellor or a very good friend, even reading related books can help you work this through, but you must be willing to talk and be open about what happened to you - you have anger inside you and you know what it is your abuser who put it their not your kids. Please get some support and deal with your suppressed feelings before they jump up and destroy you. I really feel for you - but by getting some support you will get through this. Let us know how you get on.

re; your private response. I know you would not lash out at your kids but you should seek advice and support so as to develop the skills needed to get you through these teenage years - as you are finding out they are difficult years and if you let number 1 child float through these years and not learn to respect you, your requests and your beliefs then look out when number 2 and 3 catch up - I went through the same thing with my son for simular reasons - I loved him to much and swung the proverbial pendulum right over instead of half way - and could not understand why he always had the upper hand. He had learnt how to bend and emotionally blackmail me and through ignorance I had not even realised how much power I had given him until he reached puberty. Email me on[EMAIL]and I'll tell you what happened with my son and how we came through the other side happier. Victoria.caley@properties.dot.gov.im[/EMAIL]