Hi everyone, my name is Harlen, I just joined the forum and I did it for a very specific reason, I need some advice on how to relate to my daughters. I have 3 children, 1 boy and 2 girls. Realizing that my oldest daughter Fanny is turning into a young woman before my eyes, and that very soon she'll stop thinking about boys as gross, uninteresting creatures, I would like some advice on how to talk to her about sex and sexual relationships. With James, her twin brother, its a lot easier since we're both guys and I remember how it was like for me at 13, but I'm afraid to say the wrong things to Fanny, to make her uncomfortable talking about sex with her dad, but I don't want to ignore the subject, in my family no one ever said a thing about sex and I was left to find out about it on my own, I can't allow my kid to do the same thing, I feel she needs at the very least information on safe sex. I know she won't discuss it with her mom, Fanny loves her but she doesn't know her well enough, she sees her only twice a year and my exwife already told me that she can't have 'the talk' with our daughter. As for me, I'm very clumsy, two days ago I ventured for the first time into the world of feminine towels, I couldn't believe my eyes, there's hundreds of them! I've been shopping for her since she was a baby and that day at shoppers I felt so lost. I know its silly to freak out over something as stupid as a feminine towel, but I guess that before that day I had never thought about the gender difference between my children, and between my daughters and me, and after days of pondering I'm still clueless. Taking under account that she's only 13, what should I say? how would a mother do it? if there's a dad out there who already had 'the talk' how did it go?

Harlen, welcome to the forum. I am one of the fathers here that has had "the talk" with my daughter. In fact we have had that talk more than once (gotta keep it fresh in their young heads) I also did the first bra shopping with her, the feminine products. It's not the easiest thing, but not the most difficult either. I would suggest checking your local hospital even, they usually have free pamphlets you can take and use as a guide for your talks. My daughter started at about 10 years old, so my talks were spread out according to what I felt she needed to know at the time. She's nearly 14 now so I've covered pretty much all of it with her, more than once now. Yes, typically a mother would be the one to deal with this sort of thing with a daughter, but then we do what we have to in our situations. I found that just treating it as normal as possible for a dad to be dealing with a daughter about these things helped keep the awkwardness to a minimum. We got through it all just fine.

GOD knew what he was doing when he gave me a son to raise... i would have a difficult time rasing a girl

my best friend is raising his two girls on his own (mostly) and has many stories to tell which make me cringe in an awkward alpha-male-geek sense.

i think his secret is keeping those situations light. you know, the "open with a joke" method. put them at ease, then move into the serious content.

on another note, now that my son is 15 i am in the midst of that awkward crush stage. i always thought that fathers of daughters had more to worry about, but it can be a two way street.

=)

Well I sure need help with my 2 boys..12 n 13!! Especially w/Cody (13yr old)...he says its gross and that he doesnt wanna hear about that. How the heck do I make him listen and how do I talk to him??? and still trying! And to think I thot boys would be easier to raise...

Thank you all for the reply. I tried to keep the talk as casual as possible. It wasn't as awkward as I thought, at least she wasn't begging to leave the room. I better get some practice so I can do better when my youngest one asks.
In my experience with sons, the best way to do things is going straight to the point, my son gets restless and unatentive when I try to give him an introduction on sex.Try letting him know what you think and the facts you want to share, be clear with him and it'll stick. good luck.

Here's my advice to you Harlen. And this one aint easy. When I was a girl, my mother had a pretty open policy with me. She gave me the basic physiological info. Then, it was "look, I dont want you to have sex, but if you need help, come to me." That means that at any point she feels she needs birth control, etc,she can come to you and you can get her the help she needs without asking too many questions or getting upset. I know that is a tall order, but the reason teen girls get pregnant, STI's etc is that they are either ignorant or afraid to seek assistance for fear that their parents will find out. If you take that fear out of the equation, then she wont be in the dark. If she knows that she can come to you under those two conditions, then you can bring her to a clinic and let her sort her personal affairs with an impartial trained professionsl. Even though it is hard to think of your little girl in that way, my mother did it for me and while I had friends who were getting pregnant or STI's, etc, I did not. I also was able to talk to my mother about boys, etc... but if you dont think you can do that, that's ok. All she has to know is that she can come to you. Maybe you could come up with a code word or something. I hope that helps.