For the most part, he is not that bad of a teen. No curfew problems, durg issues, girlfriend issues, or serious school issues. Lately, it seems like he's testing boundaries with regular house rules and becoming very disrespectful

To me they are simple rules.... keep the floors picked up, no dirty dishes laying around, upkeep your own laundry (he's old enough), clean the bathroom once a week. This has been slacking off and done 1/2 way the past few weeks so I started taking away privledges. First, the Xbox, then the laptop, now the cell phone.... What he knows he has left is the door to his bedroom, television, and electricity to his room.

When I took the cell phone away just now, I never heard such horrible language come out of his mouth directed at me! Usually, I see hear him curse while playing Xbox Live... but he knows the rules... if I'm around he's forbidden to use it. I lost it a little and said things I probably shouldn't... "why don't you just go live with your dad. I'm sure he'll let you do what you want there!" worse... I got caught up in the argument and told him I really don't like him at all and wish he would go (somewhere not so nice) I knew at that point.... leave the premises or proximity.. the best way to difuse a heated argument with a teen I'm told.

Part of me wonders how he got that way.... speaking so trashy! I would never have even said curse words to my parents. Just a few weeks ago, we already had a conversation about swearing with his doctor because my teen seems to blame it on being ADHD. I still think its a choice.... His doctor kinda tried to control himself from laughing and tells us both swearing is a choice... a definite choice but, he may have trouble with the firing them off because of ADHD. what am I suppose to do with that?

Part of me wanted to drive two blocks to a good friend of mine I once considered to be family to help with this (we have been growing apart with our own lives now).... he's probably been the only male disciplinarian my son has ever had.... mainly because we shared a house/house sat for him. It was his house his rules so my son never dared to push his buttons... always seemed to want his approval.

He's now wanting to apologize.... but I think he mainly wants the things I took away back. I'm thinking about therapy but by the time we make the appointment the situation and feelings have passed and seems resolved.

You did the right thing by letting him know his behavior and language are wrong. EVERY parent says things in the heat of the moment. DO NOT give in to him because you feel bad about it. Let him know how he can earn his privaleges back and have a talk with him about how sometimes adults lose their tempers somtimes if you feel it is necessary. If he is old enough to relate his profanity to adhd, he is old enough to get over it and do what is expected of him by his mother. ALL MY LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU! My son is 14 and I am facing some of the same problems without the adhd. Good Luck!

What's done is done, what's been said has been said. I agree to not go backwards on his punishment, but do take some time to sit down and talk it out with him now that things are calming back down. Emphasize again what you expect in his helping with the house, and how you expect to be spoken to and treated. He's apologizing/you're apologizing for the outbursts, and go on from there.

i would definitely still do the therapy though. i was a headstrong teen always pushing limits, but i did love and respect my parents - and feared them a bit too.

when my mother yelled "i hate you too" in an argument, everything changed. everything. i was 14 or 15. i went to a friend's house that night and smoked pot. i drank. i thought f- her, if she hates me, i've got nothing to lose. i never looked back. those 4 words changed my adolesence. she never apologized.

we 'made up' when at 18 i decided we should be friends and i bought her a card, took her out and we had fun. still, we were and are friends. she lost that mother title forever when she said she hated me.

go to therapy. apologize. explain your frustrations. drill drill drill that you love him. good luck.

whew... thank you guys.

Teenage years!

We've since had a discussion about how we are going to resolve these issues and talked about how we are going to tackle "heated arguments" in the future. One thing I can count on him is the fact he doesn't like to go to bed without feeling we have hard feelings.

Laurie, I think we may just start going to family therapy. He seems to minimize his behaviour and perhaps another person looking into the situation will give him some feedback or things to try instead of blowing his top. I think this is where being a single parent gets a little tough because if there were two caring parents in the house.... another one could step in and hopefully difuse things. IDK... I keep hearing 15 is a tough year while 17 is much easier.

Hi Tessmit, Im glad you found this forum helpful to you with your 15 yr old. Any advice for this 12 yr old boy's mom? My son is slowly but surely headed in the same direction. He's extremly moody and is always saying to me, "leave me alone". He's up one minute and down the next. Its very exhausting!

Communication :O

We usually have a family meeting or discussion about what it means to be "family". We could chose to do our own thing without concern for each other... or we can be there for one another in times of need.

I don't like the way my EX has showed the boys to give up on being a father because it's too hard and inconvienient... so I make it a point to find as many examples as possible where families we know have overcome obstacles, even if they are on different continents.

When my son used the "leave me alone" excuse after cursing ... so I kept the discussion very short and to the point. "It hurts me when you treat me with disrespect. It doesn't matter what your definition of disrespect is and I don't want you to tell me how I should feel. I'm telling you your words are hurtful if not abusive. I don't want you to use such bad language because it makes others look poorly on you and I know you are much better than that. You're still not going to get your cell back until I feel as if you earned it."

He was still angry but he came around a few hours later.

It's tolling for me to get to this point...and I know children are different. My youngest doesn't need me to explain it to him... all I have to say is "That is hurtful. Please don't talk to me that way." and he gets it.

Ok... that was easily said after I calmed down and he wasn't having a fit.

Still find it tricky on what to do inbetween because of all the emotions going crazy those teen years.

Yes, it is difficult, those crazy teen years.....

I think you're handling it really well, tho. You are showing him there are consequences for bad behaviour in life.

Just remember, NO family is perfect. I think most families with teenagers have stuff like this going on. I know we did.

And it's true what you say, about 17 being much easier, (my son turned 17 last month), so basically, you've just got to hang on for the ride!!

OMG! There are others. I have a teen girl 14. All I can say is, we are going to therapy.
One moment, life is good, she is cleaning her room, picking up after herself, the next, "esmerelda" rears her ugly head. Whoa. Hormones are moving then. Life turns terrible.

I love her, and tell her often. Everything she does I say please and thank you. I think it will sink in. Someday I will let her go into the world, and maybe she will remember 1/2 of the persistence i put forth.
I look forward to the "better" teen years I keep hearing about. It is the light at the end of my tunnel.

Whoops, what did I say? 17 gets easier??

Just this week he was berating me for not letting him out till 6 A.M.!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at the weekend).

"All my friends can stay out that long!"
(don't beleive it for a minute).......

I'm right in the middle of teenage drama..



I really miss having a signifacant other to pick me back up whenever our chidren drives us insane.

I have to say, I'm very proud of my teen for recognizing what he does wrong and is trying to fix it. I guess I need to understand more what teenagers have to face these days... it is a lot different than when I grew up and at the same time, similar pains.