Hi,

I'm looking to self-publish a self-help book for single-moms of children who can't place a face with the name "daddy."

The book will start off a little different from most self help books. As noted, the information in brackets are descriptions of the art work. (If you know of a GOOD illustrator, do tell!)

Please take a few minutes to read this and provide honest feedback. If you hate, say so. My feelings won't be hurt...really. I just want honest feedback.

Title: "Sparks"
Written by LuvJoi
C/O 2006

[cover art: Joe-Joe and his family under an oak tree at the park, they
are playing a game or sharing a book; a picnic basket is nearby;
fruit, sandwiches, juice are on a tray on the picnic blanket; the sun
is shining very brightly]


[Page i]

for my pride and joy,

Jacob and Josiah

[Page ii]

TK: This blurb will indicate the book's target audience- something like

"For the single mother whose child(ren) cannot place a face with the
name "daddy".

(not the moms who are single parenting due to death, divorce, or their
own selfishness….)


[Page iii-x]

Foreword written by a psychologist; the professional should explain
the damaging impact of a mother's choice to curse or belittle a
child's father when the child asks about his or her daddy…the
importance of dealing with personal issues instead of forcing them on
the child …the importance of identifying and accepting your own
reality…and whatever else the professional and I feel are appropriate.



[Page 1]

"Where is your daddy," Scottie asked me today.

"I have a daddy and Chuck has a daddy. Where is your daddy? Why
doesn't he play ball with us too?"

[Page 2-art only]

[ART SPEC: three boys, ages 6-8, sitting under a tree in a park;
baseball and gloves are nearby, they are drinking from juice boxes and
appear to be taking a break from playing ball. Older men are in the
background, perhaps talking around a barbq grill]

[Page 3]

I don't know why Scottie asked me this, but it made me feel gooky
inside. I felt like a stomach full of spoiled milk. I felt the same
way when Marlon asked me the same question a long time ago.

"I don't know," I told Scottie.

"He's somewhere I don't know."

[Page 4-art only]

[ART SPEC: The look on Joe-Joe's face has gone from happiness to glum.
He's now holding his head down while he speaks.]

[Page 5]

"Well, you need a daddy because families have daddies," Scott told me.

"Yeah," Chuck joined in, "If you don't have a daddy, you don't have a
real family."

[Page 6-art only]

[ART SPEC: Scott looks curious; Chuck has a "matter of fact" look and
is talking with his hands, his head is to the side a bit; Joe-Joe has
a very uncertain and confused look; he's arms are folded and he's
clutching over on his knees ]



[Page 7]

When I got home that day, I asked my momma why I didn't have a daddy.
I told her that every family is supposed to have a momma and a daddy.



[Page 7-art only]

[ART SPEC: Joe-Joe has a " I-gotta-tell-you-something-right-now" look
on his face as he looks up at his mom; she is folding clothes; a
laundry basket and piles of neatly folded clothes are nearby; Jake is
seen on the sofa fast asleep with his butt in the air; the inside of
the house is nice and clean; there are pictures of Jake, Joe-Joe and
Mom on the walls, kids art work on the fridge and in frames on the
walls; Mom's graduation picture and diploma are in view. ]

[Page 8]

Suddenly, momma looked sad. The spark in her eyes was no longer bright.

She said, "If I could, I would give you and your brother the best
daddy in the whole wide world. He would play ball with you. He would
read to you and your brother. He would teach you how to do big boy
things."

"But I can't give you a daddy…I can't make him love you or be here for you."

[Page 9- art only]

[ART SPEC: page should go from full color to a monotone bluish/grey to
indicate a change in mood and feeling; Mom holds an article of
clothing in her lap; she looks sad, desperate, hopeless, like she is
in pain; the hurt that she feels is most evident in her eyes]

[Page 10]

My momma's face looked really sad. Maybe she felt like a stomach full
of spoiled milk and yucky brussel sprouts.

"Joe-Joe, there is a man on this earth that is your father. He has
decided that he doesn't want to be your daddy so he stays away."

"Why momma? Why does he stay away? What did I do?" I needed to know.

"Oh honey, you didn't do anything. You are as perfect as can be! You
are a wonderful boy who deserves to be loved. I love you and so does
your brother, your friends, and the rest of our family. "

"But why doesn't my dad love me? Why isn't he around," I asked.


"Honey, your earthly father looks in the mirror and only sees himself.
He doesn't care about his true reflection; he only cares about this
picture that he sees in the mirror."

[Page 11- art only]

[ART SPEC: Mom has put the clothes to the side and pulled Joe-Joe
closer to her; She is sitting on the edge of the sofa talking to him;
she has a caring look on her face.]

[Page 12]

Now I feel sad again. I look at my momma's face. She is sad too. The
spark in her eyes has gone away. We are both very sad.

[Page 13-art only]

[art spec: background should go extremely dark; like the world has
stopped moving and the birds have stop singing; there is a spotlight
on Momma and Joe-Joe. Momma is sitting on the floor with her legs
crossed. Joe-Joe is sitting close beside her. Above and to the side of
momma's head is a blurred thought bubble/blur that shows a picture of
her when she was Joe-Joe's age (6-8). She is sitting on the steps of
her house, with her chin tucked into her legs that are pulled up to
her chest. Toys and dolls are nearby. She is sadly watching her
playmate run into their dad's open arms. This dad is appears to be
just coming home from work. His briefcase is placed on the ground,
he's kneeling so that he's eye level with the running child, and he's
smiling a thousand watt smile.]

[Page 14]

My momma closes her eyes. I see a tear. One tear…two tears…three
tears…then I see tears flowing from her eyes like water from a faucet.
Her eyes are closed so tight. One hand is in the air. The other hand
is around me. She is squeezing me tight. And she is talking...talking
slow…then talking fast…then quiet…then talking slowly and quietly. I
don't know who she is talking to. I don't even know what she is
saying.

[Page 15-art only]

[ART SPEC: spotlight should shine only on the mother and son to
indicate a spiritual experience taking place; Joe-Joe should be
looking up at his mother with an innocent, yet curious look on his
face. Momma's hand is lifted in prayer, her other arm is wrapped
around Joe-Joe; Jake's silhouette can be seen (barely) in the
background ]

[Page 16]

After a while, my momma's tears go away. She opens her eyes and I see
the sparks again. But this time they're different. This time the
sparks in her eyes make her whole face light up! Her face sparkles
like glitter in the sunlight!

I look at my momma. I look into her eyes. I see me! Now I am happy.
The spoiled milk has gone away.

[Page 17-art only]

[ART SPEC: full color comes back, Mom is looking at Joe; their arms
are wrapped around each other as they remain sitting; Joe is looking
up at his Mom]



[Page 18]

Then she says to me, "Joe-Joe, you have another father…a father that
you cannot see."

"Huh? Who is he momma? Where is he?" I really wanted to know.

"You have a Heavenly Father. While you may not be able to touch Him or
play catch with Him, you can see and feel all the great things He does
for you everyday."

"Like what?" I asked.

"You can feel your Heavenly Father in your heart. You can feel Him in
your mind. You can feel Him in your soul. This Heavenly Father that
you have…this Heavenly Father that we both have…this Father is so
great….He's better than any man on Earth could ever be. In fact,
without our Heavenly Father we would not be here. We would not be a
family."

[Page 19-art only]

[ART SPEC: Mom is gently cradling his face in her hands; she looks
lovingly at him; he looks trusting of her]

[Page 20]

"Listen, do you hear that?"

"Hear what—the dogs barking outside?"

"No, silly" mom laughed.

"I'm talking about something more important. Give me this hand and put
your other hand on your chest. Do you feel that?"

"Yeah, that's our hearts beating." I said. They feel like they were
beating at the same time.

"Yes, that's our hearts beating. Our Heavenly Father gave us these
hearts. If we didn't have these beating hearts, we could not live. And
if we were not able to live, we could not love. And if we could not
love, we could not be a family."

[Page 21-art only]

[ART SPEC: Jake is waking up in the bg; Mom and Joe has a hand over
each other's heart ]

[Page 22]

"Breathe in…now breathe out," my mom told me. "Now take a deep breath
and breathe in and out with me.

"Ahhhhhhh----wuuuuuu…" We made the sound of a gentle breeze.

"That was the air we breathe. Our Heavenly Father gave us this air. If
we didn't have this air to breathe, we wouldn't be able to live. And
if we were not able to live, we could not love. And if we could not
love, we could not be a family."

[Page 23-art only]

[ART SPEC: they are looking at each other, mom holding his chin up as
they sit on the floor]

[Page 24]

"Do you remember all the songs we sang together? Do you remember the
funny stories we made up and some of the books we read?"

"Yeah," I said.

"And what about the football games and the carnivals?

"Yeah, I remember." I said. We did have a lot of fun together,
especially at the park and at the museums.

Well, to enjoy doing all those things together, we need to be able to
see, to think, to talk, to remember, to smile, to move, and to feel."

"Our Heavenly Father gave us all these special gifts. He gave us
healthy bodies. If we couldn't see, think, talk, remember, create,
smile, write, understand, feel, or use our good minds, then we would
not know how to live. If we did not know how to live, we could not
love. And if we could not love, we could not be a family."

[Page 25-art only]

[ART SPEC: show a bunch of different scenes to reflect the family
having a good time, reading, playing board games, at church singing
together, bath time, at a park, at a museum]

[Page 26]

"Do you see these pictures that we took? Do you see the smiles on your
face? On your brother's face? On my face? We are smiling because we
have joy. We have fun together."

"Joy is what I feel on the inside. It's mixed with peace because you
are here. Joy and peace is what I feel when I see you and your
brother. Joy is the best kind of happy that there could ever be."

"But where did the joy come from?" I asked.

"Our Heavenly Father gave us this joy. He gave us a reason to smile.
He even gave us peace. These are things that no one can take away. If
we did not have this joy or this peace, we wouldn't want to live. And
if we didn't want to live, we could not love. And if we could not
love, we could not be a family."

[Page 27-art only]

[ART SPEC: show his and her hands pointing to pictures in a scrap
book( not a plain photo album); pictures should show family involved
in fun events as above; include pictures that show mom and new born
baby Joe –Joe and mom and new born baby Jake with 2 year old Joe-Joe]

[Page 28]

So while your father on earth chooses to look in the mirror at
himself… while your father on earth chooses not to love… our Heavenly
Father has given us the best things ever. No father or daddy on earth
can make your heartbeat…no father on earth can give you true peace or
joy. No father or daddy on earth can give you a mind to think, the
ability to understand, create, write, sing, or anything so awesome.

"Mom, who is this Heavenly Father. What's his name?" I asked. This
Heavenly Father sounded like some sort of super hero.

"His name is Jehovah. We call him God for short. It's who we sing to
when we go to church. It's the same God that we pray to at night," Mom
answered.

"Wow," I thought. I didn't know he did all this.

[Page 29-art only]

[ART SPEC: Jake is waking up, he's rubbing his eyes; Joe and Mom are
still sitting on the floor in front of Jake who is on the sofa)

[Page 30]

"Joe-Joe, I love you and your brother. I would give you two the world
if I could.

If I could grab the sun and make it shine just for you, I would.

If I could catch all the stars and let you shoot them like marbles, I would.

If I could build you a playground on the moon, I would.

If I could gather all the fish in the sea, tame all the animals in the
jungle, and bring all the birds in the sky home for you to see, I
would.

There are so many things that I would give you if I could. But nothing
could come close to what our Heavenly Father has already given me to
give to you."

"What's that momma?" I asked.


"Our Heavenly Father has given me love. When you were in my belly, He
gave me love just for you. When your brother was in my belly, He gave
me love just for him too. I gave our Heavenly Father my mirror and He
gave me you.

Love is better than every thing we have. While a father on earth is
good to have, love is all we need to be a family. Not a father on
earth…not a mirror. Just love.

[Page 31-art only]

[ART SPEC: Jake has crawled down off the sofa and is sitting next to
mom , flipping through the scrapbook]



[Page 32]

I looked at my momma and she looked at me.

"Mom, will he ever have love for me?"

"I don't know, baby. I would e lying if I said I did. But we can pray
that he learns to accept our Heavenly Fathers love. We can pray that
he learns what it means to love." she said.

I thought about Scottie and Chuck. I thought about their dads playing
ball with them in the park. They looked happy. They probably looked
happy because they had love.

I decided that having a father in my family would be awesome if he
had love. Maybe one day, he will want to love me. Or maybe he won't.
I don't know…

But when I think about my mom and all the friends and family who want
to be around me, I feel love.

When I think about God and how I feel when I sing at church and when I
pray with my brother at night, I feel love.

Love is better than playing ball in a park. Love is better than
looking in the mirror.

[Page 33-art only]

[ART SPEC: not sure about this one—maybe a closeup—maybe Joe-Joe
looking to the side as he ponders his mother's words and how he feels]

[Page 34]

"Mom, love is what makes a family…and we are a family...a loving family!"

[Page 35-art only]

[ART SPEC: not sure about this one—maybe Joe-Joe looking at his mom
with a smile on his face]

[end story]


[Page 36]

Shalom

Nothing broken. Nothing missing.

[Page 37-art only]

[Art Spec: The text Shalom should be in a large, stylized/cursive/ or
bold print with nothing broken, nothing missing underneath. Joe-Joe
and his family is under the same tree from the beginning of the story,
playing a game or sharing a book; a picnic basket is nearby; fruit,
sandwiches, juice are on a tray on the picnic blanket; the sun is
shining very brightly;

On the other page, other families are together doing other things at
the park; be sure to include various races and various family
compositions (grandmother and young child; traditional family, dad and
his two daughters, dad and son, etc.; also include interracial couples
and a black woman with three children ( 1 white, 1 Asian, and 1 black)
]



[Page 38–40]

A Heart-to-Heart letter that explains how dialog between myself and
God helped me overcome the pain, guilt, and demons that I had been
holding on to as a result of not having a dad.

quote:

"For the single mother whose child(ren) cannot place a face with the
name "daddy".

(not the moms who are single parenting due to death, divorce, or their
own selfishness….)

Well, this quote has completely put me off already. I am not interested in reading further.
Are you actually a single mother yourself??

LuvJoi,

While I personally can see nothing wrong with your story and characterizations, I would advise that you clarify your target audience before soliciting responses or "feedback".

There will be quite a number of "women" who for reasons that may seem quite selfish to yourself (and for all intents and purposes are) that will be offended by such comments.

If that is NOT something you are concerned with, then Bravo...I applaud your fortitude and courage. Although I myself cannot in all cases be led to make such a broad statement.

For the story itself, obviously it would be characterized as a "Children's Short Story" in the Religious section. If you are looking for a broader audience, be aware of the limited marketing and distribution avenues a story of this type will automatically relegated to.

In addition, American/North American audiences are generally more receptive of "Judeo-Christian" materials as opposed to other parts of the world.

Lastly, the story listed does "possibly" breach the terms of discussion on this forum, particularly in regards to discussing religion, although the final opinion on that matter does not rest with myself.

To your literary effort, once again I say, Bravo and "Good Luck".

and of course,
Welcome to the Forum.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by LuvJoi:
..."For the single mother whose child(ren) cannot place a face with the
name "daddy".

(not the moms who are single parenting due to death, divorce, or their
own selfishness….)
....QUOTE]

Re-reading this statement,
although I can see your intent....I tend to believe you will alienate more people with a statement like this more than you will affect healing.

For instance,
Because of a cheating spouse, "I" am a divorced, single parent (mother and father) to my children.

I dont believe you've meant to cause harm only to address the specific idea you stated.

Unfortunately, there are so many children who are dealing with this very same thing ....the idea that their father has died, left, divorced or was purposely left out of the picture does NOT factor in the to fact that this is what these children are dealing with.

Once again, I applaud your effort but more "inclusivity" may be needed.

quote:

Originally posted by Marielle:

quote:

"For the single mother whose child(ren) cannot place a face with the
name "daddy".

(not the moms who are single parenting due to death, divorce, or their
own selfishness….)

Well, this quote has completely put me off already. I am not interested in reading further.
Are you actually a single mother yourself??

I agree. I'm rather turned off by this myself. I would choose your words carefully in this forum as sometimes things that are not meant to offend people, do just that.