Dear Friends,
I keep thinking things can't get worse but they do. I need to vent. My psycho ex has finally crossed the line of no return. Last week he filed a false CPS report. He saw a "bruise" on one of my sons. My son said the daycare provider did it, my ex said I did. After a meeting with my lawyer and cps I was found not guilty (I don't even spank them). Regardless he went to court, got a restraining order put against me to not hurt my children and re-filed for sole custody. Now, a week later, he is calling them again saying I abused them over the weekend. I swear I have never put a hand on my children. I am terrified he is going back to court to say I violated the order and is going to take them from me. I will call my lawyer in the am but he could already be in court by then.
I have always been strong but I am finally ready to give in the towel. I love my children more then life itself but I just am at my breaking point. As a teacher, these allegations could ruin my career! And I didn't do a thing! Please keep me in your prayers, I just feel like how much more can I take......

Sometimes justice does come swiftly...let's hope that is the case here.

You'll definitely be in my prayers.

Oh honey I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I went through something similar several months ago and I'll show you a little so you can see there's light at the end of the tunnel.....

Children's Services

Back in the land of the living

There's a lot more to the story but this gives you an idea of how resilient the human spirit is. I suffer from mental illness and made it through all this without hospitalization. I KNOW you'll come through this ordeal with flying colors. I know that in some states, unsubstantiated child abuse allegations can be grounds for the accuser to lose all custody. I would look into it in your state.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.

I honestly don't even know what to say. I'm sitting here thinking how on earth could anyone be that vindictive. My thoughts and prayers are with you..hoping that you find some comfort while dealing with this.

Is your Ex BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)? Check out BPD Families

This sounds like something right out of the BPD/NPD playbook. And absolutely... he can lose all custodial rights if they find that he is filing false reports.

I received sole legal and physical custody of my little girl mostly due to my ex being so vindictive that she lost custody more than I ever won it. That and... well she was psycho. I pray that the same happens for you...

AND THINK OF THIS

... EVERY TIME I went through some horrible thing from her... one hour supervised visitation per month with my daughter for months on end due to her allegations, for one... EACH TIME it was horrible to go through. But in the end it meant victory for me. This may be just the thing you need in order to resolve your problem of wanting to move out of state to be with the one you love.

But it is extremely dangerous too... I know how scared you must be. Hang in there and we will keep praying for you.

Wishing you the best.

More prayers from my corner of the earth. A hope for strength and patience for you to overcome and get past this......
Actually more for not needing much patience by this garbage getting done and over quickly.

Hey Girl, hang tough, sick your lawyer dog on the ex.

My ex called so much my kids refused to talk to CAS and he was finally told he would be charged for this by CAS it stopped .Prayers and thoughts from here stay strong and this to shall pass hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boy, can I relate. I have been feeling just as helpless as you. I've learned that it doesn't matter if its true or not. Once you've been pegged, it sticks with you.
I'm still going through it. DCF has been called on me, my dad, and my b/f. My daughter has been taken to the doctor so many times that she thinks its normal to have her privates checked. The thing is, her dad is the sick one thinking up this stuff. I don't think he believes it, he just knows that making me look bad might result with me having less time with my daughter. It is a scary place to be in, and I'm sure it is one of the biggest causes of my feeling so depressed right now. You just have to "fight the good fight" as someone so intelligently put it on this site. That made me feel like not giving up.
My daughters doctor sees what her father is doing, and has said "He tried to fool my once, he is not going to fool me again." Also saying that she did not want to see him again in the office for this false allegation c*rap. So, sooner or later the truth comes out.
I don't feel so alone now that I read your post, and hopefully we can be of support to each other, and remind each other to stay strong.
It's such a waste of time for these psycho's to use the system like this. I always want to ask the psycho I'm involved with if he would feel guilty that some other child suffered abuse because DCF was busy checking me out instead.

Thank you guys for your support. Reading the posts made me feel so much better. At the moment CPS thinks he's crazy and my lawyer wants me to go in front of the judge this week to ask for Temporary sole custody. Good News. Bad news, my day care provider quit from all the **** (I can't blame her) and my ex is refusing any new day care I can find. I finally just picked one but he's refusing to drop the kids off there on the days he has them.... I think it's a matter of time before his demise. I just hate doing this alone. Thanks for listening though!

He's only digging his own grave by acting the way he is. CPS workers are stupid and I'm sure the judge is going to see through his ****. They see horrible things everyday so obviously false allegations tend to **** them off.

Oh honey, I am in tears just reading this. I dont know how on earth you are keeping it together - but you are! Wow, give yourself credit there - that is huge! Seeing how strong you are is wonderful in hindsight - pretty miserable when you are going through it.

Stories like Daniel and Joseph in the Old Testament reinforce how God can use what man meant for bad and turn it to good. Prayers indeed - if God can take you to it, He can take you through it. Praying for you in NJ!

quote:

Originally posted by pinkflwr:
Bad news, my day care provider quit from all the **** (I can't blame her) and my ex is refusing any new day care I can find. I finally just picked one but he's refusing to drop the kids off there on the days he has them.... I think it's a matter of time before his demise. I just hate doing this alone. Thanks for listening though!

This is actually good news as well from your legal standpoint. The disruption and in ability of your ex to coparent properly is just another nail in the coffin. This is exactly the type of thing that I was talking about. Things that about drive you nuts and put you through ****... but in the long run the psycho is just showing their true colors all the more to the judge and the hammer keeps raising higher before it falls.


This is a great setup for you to be awarded sole legal and physical custody.


If you have a good lawyer they are going to take him to the cleaners.


Keep your chin up and think how much he is screwing himself over when he is putting you through trials.... it helps to get through them.

Okay so I've taken a while to think about this and how to respond without scaring the **** out of you I worked in family law for 3 years and let me tell you . . . stupid parents will do anything they can to torture the other parent and they have no problems using the child(ren) in order to do so.

Judges get EXTREMELY pissed when they find out that someone has been filing false allegations and are liars. I have seen some judges order the "victim" parent full and complete custody and the "alleging" parent little visitation and orders against harming and/or causing issues within the care of the child(ren). The biggest thing I've seen a Judge do is order some sort of restitution payable to the agencies they reported false allegations to and ordered that child support be re-calculated. Those are the moments that made me happy.

However, there are times when people get away with this sh!t and I've had clients do it in the past and it made me sick. I quit a job because of this and because the attorney was involved but I couldn't prove it.

Unfortunately the children are put through **** as well as the one parent. I really hope for your sake that he gets buried and that you are finally free of all his ********.

Knight is right about the daycare part. If he won't use the same daycare and won't be "civil" with you, then the Judge will basically say that the idiot is being harmful to the child's environment and wellbeing. That is another thing that pisses judge's off when one parent is trying to be civil and work at things and the other is just being a dumb a$$.

I guess on a final note: please keeps logs of everything. This will look better for you. Also, I dont know if its a requirement in your state but the daycares in Michigan require that the parent sign the child in and out. Its a law! So if you can get this to happen in your situation anyway, this may help as then the court will see who is doing what for the child.

Also, it may help to get a statement from the previous daycare about any issues that your ex may have caused there and what exactly forced the daycare to discontinue care. You should always plan for the worst.

I am praying for you and I hope all works out well.