Hey guys, I need your help.
I had one lady watching my son but she seemed to be having issues so I looked for another lady that my son is trying this week. What I can't seem to do is decide who my son should go to. I will break each one down.

1st Lady:
Lives on base housing. Is not supposed to watch children in her home unless she is licienced which she is not. Unable to claim her care of my son on my taxes. I had to buy her stuff to take care of my son like bottle washing station, bottle warmer, and tummy pad. When I pick up or drop him off she is talking about her looking for a job outside of the home or moving. Cost is 125/week. She complained that she had to stay up so late to take care of my son when she knew the hours I had to work when she agree'd to watch him. She also has to take my son in the car on trips to pick up her children every day from school.

2nd Lady:
Lives in the next town over, not licensed but will let me claim her care on my taxes. Watches 4 other children and has a helper come to make meals and play with the kids. Her house is set up for children with toys in organizers, baby gates, and a room for the babies to sleep in. Cost 150/week.
Yesterday when I dropped him off to her the helper was in the back and she went to get the helper so I could met her then she stayed in the back. Now I don't know if there was another kid back there or what but all of the sudden I started to think maybe they are doing drugs. Irrational maybe? She said what a great baby Jalani was when she watched him last night.

Then I seen on The O'riley Factor today a nanny caught on cam tossing 7 month old twins around and I about started crying. So I'm sorta freaking out.

So I am pretty torn on what I should do.
Any advice?

Jen..I am a daycare provider in my home. So this is coming from the perspective of a parent and a child care provider.
The first person sounds to me like she is just looking to make some extra money..which is fine we all need money.. BUt It doesnt't sound like she enjoys her job or really cares that much. She doesn't sound like she is really set up in her home to be caring for children.
The second Place sounds ideal to me. Unless of course they were doing drugs..What exactly made you think that? Is it just because they were in the back? I 'm thinking that there was a kid back there and thats why when one came out she went back so that the child wasn't left unattended. Which would show that they are responsible and have the childrens best interests at heart. Unless you really feel they may be doing drugs. Then of corse you dont want to send your child there.
Have you seen the back room that your speaking of? Maybe you should just ask whats back there..You want to be sure its child proof incase the baby was to crawl in the back. WHen you go on interviews you should get a tour of the whole place. I always give my parents a tour and point out where any saftey issues may have been and what I have done to insure that it is a safe environment .

I have to add..I would be very weary of anyone outside of my closest friends or family driving around in the car with my baby and even then I'd be worried sick...JMHO

Thanks so much.
You know I don't know what made me think of drugs. The kids were in the living room/dinning are eating. I know in the back of the house there is a room for babies and I did see that room. But it seemed all the kids were in the front room. Maybe I will ask her about it.
The first lady does have kids but they are school age and her house is sorta messy but what parents house ain't. The second lady does not have any of her own children as her and her husband can not have them.

I'm so paraniod because I had a child die at a home day care. Was not her fault but I'm still paraniod

OMG Jen...I didn't know. No wonder your paranoid. if thats the right word of it. You know what..all parents SHould be worried about where there kids are and question anything that doesn't seem right to them. We are takling about trusting someone with out childs life,physical health, emotional health,and their education(even babies), So I do think you have a right to be paranoid..really its your job as a mom.
I'm still not sure why your feeling they are doing drugs. Did they act high? I think there could be a number of things they could be doing in the baby room besides drugs. They could be cleaning up..or changing a diaper cheaking the babies schedules Or just taking a break. I wouldnt think the baby room would be the place they woulld choose to do drugs..I'd think they would go in the bathroom or something Maybe Im wrong. The fact that you assumed they were doing drugs makes me wonder if its your instincts or if they have given you some reason to think they do drugs. Either way it cant hurt to try to show up early and catch them off guard They may be frazzled making sure they have all his stuff together but You can look for any signs of neglect or drugs..Walk right in and have a quick look around as you ask how his day was.

I really don't know why I thought of that either. They didn't act high, but they dont live in the nicest area and this is going to sound sterotypical but she has a lip ring and tattos so I'm just ummmm..
But she is super nice and very organized. Then I seen that thing on the Oriley factor and I wanted to start crying.
See you said signs of neglect.. Well the first day I took my son to the first lady he came home with marks on the backs of his legs that I still have no idea where they came from. They looked like burns. Like if you burn your arm on the stove (which I have done before).
Then last night was the first night with the second lady and he came home with someone else's diaper on.

Maybe its just that I feel guilty about not being with him 24/7.

Did you ask about the marks???He's too little to be getting hurt on his own..so I definatly would have questioned it..Its it possiblle they were from being left in the same position all day? (which he shouldn't be obviously) That would definatley scare me a baby so little with possible burn marks. Are you sure they wern't scratches?
The diaper thing..I have to admit I have done it a few times myself.. I right now have two babys the same age (mine and a daycare) So I have accidentally when changing the little bay grabbed the wrong diaper ..he's particularly squirmy. So by the time I realized it he was all diapered and I saw no reason to take it off. I would have had to throw it away and diapers are expensive. It was the same size as his just the wrong brand. This however does not happen on a regular basis but has admittedly happened to me more than once. I would mention it. Say " I just wanted to be sure you havent gotten his diapers confused with someone elses..I believe I sent the pampers brand of diapers and he came home in huggies" I am sure after that they will be sure to be more aware when changing him which diapers they grab.

OH heck yeah I called her and asked about the marks. They were not scratches. They were on the backs of his calfs. Not from socks either. It seriously looked like a burn from a oven.
See why I'm paranoid.
I wont mention it and yes diapers are expensive. I will just see how it is when he comes home tonight. She did say what a delight he was to have last night.


http://gretawire.foxnews.com/2008/02/26/last-nights-on-...-about-these-emails/

I feel so dumb...
The diaper he had on was his..
I bought new ones and I haven't used them yet...
Now I know I'm thinking too much.

Jen don't beat yourself up about it...your a parent.. your supposed to over think everything!

I did ask her about being in the back room.. Found out there was a baby back there and he wont go to sleep unless someone is watching over him. So thats why they swapped.
Anyway. Just got back from seeing my kids and can't wait to go back.
Take Care

Jen..I'm glad you asked hopefully now your mind is at rest. Sounds like you had a good visit with the older kids Love the new pic all your childern are beautiful.

I tried to fix the picture but apparently it didn't work..
Yes we had a great trip.
Took my daughter shopping and boy was I tired.