I guess you guys already know that I have a nanny that takes care of Ian while I'm not around. Lately, I have been sleeping in my own room and I allowed the nanny to sleep in Ian's room because I've so much work to do that I cannot afford to lose some sleep. But now I'm having problems because there are times that Ian looks for the nanny instead of me. I'm worried this is happening because the nanny is only temporary, I plan to let her go when Ian reaches two years old and there might be a problem weaning him from his nanny.

Do you think it's okay if I continue this kind of arrangement? I badly need sleep nowadays, particularly I have a lot of client calls and I have to look my best in front of them. But sometimes I feel guilty that I am allowing the nanny to do what I should be doing, and there are times I resent it when Ian wants to be held by nanny more than he wants me to hold him.

My mother told me it's really not an issue because the nanny is only temporary, she'll be gone in a year or two, and Ian will still end up with me no matter what happens. She did the same thing with me and my brothers -- particularly me, because I was the first child and she was working fulltime then. I lived with my grandma in the province while my mom worked in the city. She only came to see me on weekends then, and she took me when I was already three years old. Well I still grew attached to her even if I lived away from her my first three years. Also, my brother (the one who came after me) was also cared for by a nanny and now he has little memories of his nanny.

Anyway, I think I'm just ranting. But your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

This would really upset me. It sounds like you might need to start spending more quality time with your son - he really shouldn't have more of a bond with your nanny than you. It's hard to find the time I know. I also work full-time. My daughter (5) goes to school until 2pm then her babysitter picks her up and she's with her for at least 5-6 hours until I get home. Still, my daughter is always very excited to see me and if she wasn't I think I would be devastated. I do, however, make sure I spend quality time with her when I get home (as limited as it might be) and on the weekends.

I would be very upset also but what can you do? You need childcare right.
I am sorta going through this because I sent my kids to stay with my ex's mom (not thier gma) but now its like they want nothing to do with me. I call and write emails and they talk to me but when I talk to them about living back with me they want NOTHING to do with that. Cuz gma doesn't work and is there every morning and every time they get home from school and I can not do that because hello I have to work.
I have no idea what I can do about that.
I love my kids and I want my kids but they don't want me.

hey girls, thanks!! I almost forgot about this post. LOL. It's been two weeks since I posted this and my schedule has changed so I get to spend more time with Ian. Well, he's still 3 months old, so he doesn't really "look" for me, so to speak. And I dont expect him to be excited when I arrive, he's too young anyway. But now he always wants me to hold him and he always laughs when I talk with him. Of course, the nanny still takes care of him most of the time because I really got to work. She's temporary anyway, I'll let her go when Ian reaches two years old, then get another nanny so Ian wont get attached to any of them.

Yup... nannies will come and go but the mommy remains LOL

quote:

Originally posted by Jen Hawaii:
I would be very upset also but what can you do? You need childcare right.
I am sorta going through this because I sent my kids to stay with my ex's mom (not thier gma) but now its like they want nothing to do with me. I call and write emails and they talk to me but when I talk to them about living back with me they want NOTHING to do with that. Cuz gma doesn't work and is there every morning and every time they get home from school and I can not do that because hello I have to work.
I have no idea what I can do about that.
I love my kids and I want my kids but they don't want me.

Jen, how old are your kids? I lived with my grandma the first three years in my life and my mom told me that when she took me back with her, I had to adjust to her again. But the adjustment period was only for a short time. Maybe your kids are just enjoying their time with their grandma, but if you do take them back, expect some adjustment period, but it will all be well when they get used to it. Hoping the best for you and your kids!

Hey Dawn. My kids are 15 and 9.
She is not thier real gma and I am there REAL MAMA. Maybe thats why I'm so upset.
She has already told me that she would make my life **** if I made her come back and I am not looking to make her miserable, I just miss her.
Should you give up on your child?

I wont give up on my child. If Ian does that to me I'll spank him real good! LOL. They're just kids. I know it hurts but I remember when I was a teenager, I know I may have caused my mother a lot of frustrations. Now, on hindsight, I realized that she was right then... now I'm thankful that she didnt give up on me.

Stay strong, girl, I'm sure you can do it. If you need some venting to do, we're hear to listen