Ive been having some problems with daycare with my oldest daughter, Paige. When i drop her off, she cries and says she wants to go home. Each kid there has been mean to her..biting, hitting, pushing etc.. so she basically plays by herself. Her "best friend" (in her words), was a little girl named Natalie.. but a few days ago Paige told me that Natalie pushed her and told her to go away. It broke my heart to hear that because Paige would never stop talking about how much she liked Natalie and how they were best friends and i know she was very upset that Natalie treated her this way. Paige is very sensitive and sweet.. so she doesnt stand up for herself.. she just cries and then plays alone. Every day she tells me that she wants to stay home with me and that while she was at school she wanted me. It really breaks my heart to see her so sad. To top it off, shes bringing some of this aggressive behavior that she learns from the kids at school home. Shes hitting my youngest daughter, pushing her, and punching her out of nowhere. She never did this before starting daycare. People keep telling me that she will adjust... but its been 2 months!! Should i switch daycares??

morgan,

Just my opinion, but I would certainly look into other options! It sounds to me like this daycare is not watching the kids very well. This kind of behavior should not be allowed.

You might consider getting your daughter into a smaller daycare...maybe family owned, with fewer kids. If she has difficulty adjusting to being around a bunch of kids - it might be better to start her off slow.

I know, sometimes my son does not like his daycare, but other times - he loves it ... so I think in that case - he just needs to learn to deal with the ups and downs. But --- if he were consistent in not wanting to go, and crying about going - I would see that as a sign of something being wrong.

Good luck!

Have you spoken to your provider? How do they handle confrintrations of this sort?
Before you decide to change something it might be a good idea to get some more information first. What does your daughter say about the daycare? How old is she?
More information would be very helpful.
God bless.

I used to work at a daycare and ultimetly I ended up quiting there because I just didn't think that there was enough people for the amount of kids that were there. There were mant parents who were probably just as passionate as you are about your kids that would drop off not fully understanding that 2 people to 15-20 kids was not enough. Everyday for me meant running my butt off from 8-4. I got to bring my kids with me and found that even working to the max I still barely got to even hold them much less the other kids.
Structure is another big pitfall when it comes to daycare. Every daycare has to have a plan as it were to be state licenced and appealing to paying parents. Well I saw first hand how easy that is to fabricate. If the workers at your daughters daycare aren't following a srict routine then the children feel that much more insecure, especially without their parents.
Lack of a strict, but fair, dicipline plan is another problem. If you don't give everyone the same treatment children in that numbers start to question whether they really need to do as their told
Bottom line your daughter isnt thriving there and guarantee that there are plenty of daycares that would be glad to take your money and will nourish, as much as possible, her transition, to school and interacting with her peers in a positive way. The things your daughter is saying is happeing wouldn't happen if the kids were being properly supervised and a strict no tolerance to being violent or unkind behaviors.
Believe me disfuctional daycares are a dime a dozen. I worked at one. So search till you find the one that your daughter THRIVES in!

I was a manager in a daycare center for 3 years. I hated it. The owner wouldn't give me enough staff for the number of kids we had, so oftentimes one person was left to watch 20-some kids all alone. My daughter is in an in-home daycare with a woman I love like she's my sister. My daughter loves her as well. She only has 3 kids in her home, so everyone gets enough attention and supervision.

Where ever you daughters go, just develop a relationship with the providers. If they know you and feel like you are friends, they will feel more of an obligation to 'protect' your kids. I know it doesn't sound fair, but the teachers, who are usually only 16 or 17 years old, do have their favorites.

My daughter started out in a corporate daycare, like your kids are in, and I felt like she was treated as one of the favorites. She always had more stuff written on her sheet than what I saw of any of the other kids. She was always being held when I got there to pick her up (even if I showed up in the middle of the day to visit) and wasn't left in a crib or a swing like some of the other kids. I think it was because I treated the girls in the room like we were best friends. I always made a point to make small talk, ask about their kids, boyfriends, school or whatever. And if they see that you pay attention to what your kids do all day, they'll be more likely to pay more attention to it themselves.

its not really the teachers that im concerned about.. Paiges teacher always tells me that Paige is so wonderful, and sweet.. and i know she gives Paige attention. But, every single kid in her class has been mean to her. I try to put myself in her shoes.. and i know that i probably wouldnt want to go to that school either.

A lady a couple doors down runs her own daycare in her house.. and sometimes i bring my kids over there to play, and they love it! The kids there all are so nice and get along with my girls. I cant put Paige in that daycare though because 1. she isnt allowed to have anymore kids than she has now and 2. i get free daycare from family central.. and it doesnt include home-run child cares.

I wish so badly that I could stay home with my kids!!! *sighs* but i know thats not an option.. i have to work. I guess my only options are to stick it out at this daycare or find a new one.

I came onto this topic a bit late, but saw in your profile your daughter is not quite 3?
Im sure she is a great kid, and like many other people who have posted, I also have worked at various preschools, and although many are not always looking out for the best interets of the children there as much as for profits, there are good ones, and there are good teachers.
Besides that though, I think if your daughter is carrying on every day you leave her, maybe the kids pick up on that and dont want to play with her. Really kids dont learn good socialization skills until after about 3 years of age. Maybe you could try taking her early and spending time there with her and the other kids. Ive learned that kids love when parents hang out and spend time, at any age, and if the kids open up, maybe she will be able to relax a little and give daycare a chance. I know its hard to fit extra time into a busy schedule, I have 2 girls that were total mamas girls when they started preschool, one cried non stop for a few days,(when she was a year old) now shes 13 and its hard to keep her home!
Anyways, hope this helps and good luck

Do not feel alone. I have had many issues with my son and daycare. To summarize my son has been in the same daycare since he was 5 months old and he will be 3 in February. Every morning when I would drop him off he would scream and cry. He would hold onto my leg so tightly I would have to pry him off. I know my son is a "mommas boy" but every morning would be torture. 2 weeks ago I got a note that my son hit another child in the eye with a toy. Normally my son is very laid back so I discussed it with the teacher. His best friend "Josh" always pinches him or steals his toys or pushes him. I guess my son got fed up and hit him. The teacher said that my son normally isnt like that but "Josh" teases him a lot. I would discuss with the teacher what is going on and wait to see how your daughter reacts given more time in this new situation. Hope this helps!

Mom don't worry. If your daughter is in a class with other 2 year olds this behavior is not uncommon. If U R confident that teacher supervision and poor classroom management is not the problem then take it one day at a time. At this age children are leaning to share and develop communiction skills. Some times this can be a process that take time. Your child may have devloped the art of sharing but other children may not have. I am sure the cause of many of the incidents are closly related to sharing. A child may snatch, hit, or push because they can't have what they want. A good thing to do is go to the school and obsever through the window for a few without anyone knowing and find out what the root of the problem is. Because at 2 they can't always express themself enough to explan 2 u how they realy feel. Teach your child how to handle those situations. Because children R the same every where and u can't run 4ever. Good Luck!