wow back to eatting of taisty animals again huh . HEHE, sorry bout that, I am a carnavor for the most part.

Chloemy,
I feel your heartache. I am glad that you found all of us, and now know that you are not alone.
I was 22 when I got pregnant with my son. Didn't have much of a relationship with his father, he didn't want him. Made it perfectly clear and I didn't hear from him again. I was scared, going to college, so basically broke...abortion was not a choice for me...I really thought about adoption and found that as he grew inside me I loved him so much. I had friends that told me that I would never be able to do it. I should just give him up for adoption to a loving family with a 2 parent home. I kept my son....finished college with the help of some supportive friends. And I wouldn't change my decision to this day. It wasn't easy, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. Your child wasn't planned by you, but there is a plan in store for your child.
I can't tell you what to do. I just wanted to share my story with you, and let you know that you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to. All the worries that you have will work themselves out over time.
You know in your heart what you want to do. Follow that....and things will be as they should. I trusted in that...and I am making it through, my son will be 8 in July.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do. My thoughts are with you!

I have been thinking all lot about this lately in fact its all I ever seem to think about and all of your comments have been very helpful to me thank you, I think I have made up my mind that adoption isn�t right for me. I say I think because I don�t think I will be 100 % sure I am definitely doing the right thing until I have the baby and get can settled into our new life.

I have been concentrating a lot more on my or rather our future rather than letting my pregnancy hormones take over and just make me depressed, it has put a whole different spin on things. Since I found out about the pregnancy I have found things hard to come to terms with and get my head round I mean sometimes its like its not real and its difficult to imagine life with a baby. I seems I can only concentrate on all the bad things a baby brings all the sleepless nights dirty nappies and having to find a baby sitter every time I want to go out all the stress and mainly having to do this all on my own.
I have always been the least maternal person I mean I never wanted children of my own,
Just lately I have stopped thinking so negatively and started to look into the future rather than dwell on what�s already done and for the first time I have stopped being in denial and actually began to come to terms with things I am actually a bit excited I never thought I would say it and I�ve even started to buy baby stuff which I never thought I would do and on my own and it felt great. I still hate being pregnant but it�s not for long
I have put myself on the housing list because my family home is too overcrowded and hopefully if all goes well I will get a place anywhere between 3 and 6 months of the baby being born. Which is great because that means I will get the support from my family until I am able to cope and build a home for us both. I have also enrolled in a adult returners course at college in hairdressing for September and my mum has already agreed she would be more than happy to take care of the baby while I am there, it has something I have always been keen do but know I have more incentive than ever I want a trade I can build on to give my child a better life. Things are starting to come together for me now I can see myself in a year�s time and I just know everything will be ok and none of these worries will matter anymore. I know I will be a great mum and give the baby all the love in the world that�s all that really matters,
I will keep you up to date
Chloe xxx

:huggies: Chloe! When you hold that baby you will never ever look back and think you should have chosen differently. You are obviously a strong and intelligent young woman. You are right, you will be a great mum, you already are!

Chloe,
It is so great to hear a plan begining to form. That must give you such a sense of relief, and purpose.

Good for you! Congratulations. I'm glad you made your descision, and I'm so happy for you. You really sound like you've got a great head on your shoulders.

I've got a friend who's 19 year old daughter is pregnant, unexpected. I keep on thinking about how she sounds, and how you sound. Chloe, You are going to make it. You've got a plan, and you know what you're doing. It won't always be fun or pretty, but it will be your own life! Good job!

Chloe,

I am so glad to hear the you are doing much better now. I so happy for you that you are making positive steps for yourself and you little one on the way. I felt so bad for you that you thought you had no where to turn. Just a few short days ago you were so alone but it all has changed and you have a whole new out look everything. I am so proud of you and the choices you have made. Be proud of yourself becuse you deserve all the praise. Please continue to update us as things progress.

Once again best of luck to you!!!

Chloe, it does seem overwhelming to have a baby on your own and you don't know if you can handle it. But the good thing is you have supportive parents who can help you when you have your baby. There are resources to help you financially, if you go for formula, similac.com has a great club to join where they give you coupons every month for usually $5.oo off on formula. Join that and enfamilil. Try breastfeeding, which saves you money for not getting formula. Do you work? Do a baby shower, and get necessential items, like clothes, blankets, even ask for diapers! Do you have friends who have kids, perhaps you can ask if they have any baby clothes you can have. It doesn't hurt to ask, since their baby clothes is collecting space anyways. Do you have garage sales/used clothes stores?

Since you live in the uk, you get free healthcare for baby right, so that will save you money. And go after the father of the baby for child support, regardless if he doesn't want to get involved with baby, he helped create this baby too.

Don't feel you have no options as a soon to be single parent, but you do have options and it's not a dead end for you. When you hold your baby,you won 't regret in your choice of keeping the baby. I know it's old fashioned to feel both parents are better than one, but as long as you can provide love, support, shelter, then it doesn't matter if the baby is just being raised by the mother.

I love every moment of being a single parent to my 6month daughter. My parents are supportive, and I'm grateful for that.

you will do fine amd you'll be great as her/his mom.

Chloe,
Hi and welcome to the forum as you can see you have lots of support here. These are wonderful people.
I think adoption is a most admirable decision. It shows how unconditionally and how much you love your child. Yes, holding your own new born baby is a great gift and the love just seems to poor out of you. Giving a baby a better life than you are able to provide at your own painful expence, personally I don't think there is a better way to show how much you love that child. Yes, there are great rewards for a person to keep their child but there are also great rewards for placing a child, it's a bitter sweet. The rewards for placing a child are knowing that you did the best for that child and not for yourself. Some people placing children will write the child a letter explaining the adoption so the child grows up knowing that the adoption was out of love, the greatest ever.
I think it also has to be kept in mind that coming to this site most people here that were faced with this decision are ones that kept their babies and can only post their great experiances on that side of the coin. Getting some opinions from people who have actually placed their babies and hearing the rewards that they have experianced may give a better perspective. There are many sites and forums for people who have placed their babies that you can go to, see what they say.
Now please don't get me wrong I am not trying to change your mind. You have to make the right decision for yourself and for your child. I am just trying to give you a little insite to the other side of the coin so you can make a better rounded and educated decision for yourself and your child.
I wish you both the best and will say prayers for you both.
God bless.

sweet pea, i know that this is a tough decision and i've been there...i'm now 35 weeks pregnant. i thought about adoption and thought that a stable family would be what's best... but one day my baby got hiccups...and for some reason i thought it was the funniest thing ever. i felt so bad that i couldn't do anything to help her with her hiccups, and i knew she hated them because i could feel her kicking all around. that's when i realized that reguardless of what she lacks, i love her. and yes she is without a father at the moment, she will be residing in a crappy home, and her family is loony...but i am determined to give her the best reguradless. i knew i couldn't give her to another family no matter what they could offer her. i love this child, and she's mine. you just have to go with your gut. as corny as it may sound listen to your heart and go from there. if you want to keep her then don't worry so much about the obstacles. just have faith and keep on going. if you feel that adoption is the best then go for that too. don't look at the situation, but look at what's really important....you are. and reguardless you'll always be her mother.

Ok...ladies..dont repeat this..and I'll deny I ever said it:

Some of us Dads are So envious of you "Moms"...and yet at the same time..."so thankful".

Enjoy your "Gift"...we'll never know it fully.

Cloemy I was in a similar situation. I am almost 20 a full-time college student and also have a part-time job. When I learned I was pregnant I thought about abortion. I have had an abortion before and was in semi-serious relationships both times I got pregnant. When "we" my boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant he wasn't mad or hurt or angry but I think he was scared. After I decided to keep the baby I moved back home to Ohio from Florida where I was. That was basically the last time I talked to him. I have thought about adoption but after much deliberation and praying I have decided to keep the baby! I am so excited my little girl will be born somewhere around June 26th. Now this is where our situations are different. His family is very wealthy and are willing to help. He is a spoiled brat who is 24 and a Pro-golfer who doesn't make much money. However with his job in the limelight he is definately obligated to pay child support. My family is behind me as well. My suggestion is have two plans look into adoption find a couple who if you gave your child up they would be the optimal couple or family. Also option two is talk to child services go to your doctors visits stay healthy look into childcare for when the baby is born. Have things as well laid out as possible for both routes. It is always good to have two options. Right away you have to establish paternity. Set that up as well. Thats about the best advice that I can give you. And from experience what doesn't kill you does make you a heck of a lot STRONGER. Your life will change no matter what but sometimes the road less traveled is worth it. Goodluck and keep your head up!

Hey Chloe.
When I was 15 I was in your sitution. At first I considered abortion (for like a day) and I teetered on the thought of adpotion for months. I knew on my own, there would be no way I could give them a good life. If it wasnt for my dad, I woudln't have kept my kids, as much as I knew I could have loved them, you cant raise one child, not to mention 2 on just love.
If you have the support of your family, and you want to (because it sounds like you are a smart girl) you should keep him/her. I know first hand that if you have a good family, your kids can have an awesome life.
If you can go to school thats awesome, an education is (in my opinion) the most important things a person can have (unless theyre jut reallly lucky).
So good luck! I wish you the best, with school, and of course your baby!

HI Chloemy,

Do what is in your heart to do otherwise you may have regret no matter what you chose. Know that what you do chose is the right thing. How do you know what is the right thing?? Follow your heart. Don't worry about the future..it is natural to have fear of the unknown. Know that there is always help for you...you will not run out of food or clothes and it sounds like you could be a good mother. Yes you are young, but you are already there dealing with a pregnancy.

I was 22 when I got pregnant and I faced the same issue. I never regretted my decision.

My advice to you is find a place for you to meditate or think quietly in a place you love to go and let your heart speak to you. In doing so of course, you will need to remove any fear thoughts such as "what if...and what if".... Those what if thoughts are simply created through choices of thoughts. IF we turned the tables around to say for example you chose to have the child adopted based on teh fact that a couple could raise them you could also use a fear thought by saying "what if they divorce?" So really, don't make your decision based on fear thoughts of a situation that has not happened yet.

I think what your facing right now is having to make a decision from what your heart says and what your logic is telling you. FOr me, I made a choice based on what my heart told me. Yes there will be ups and downs having the child alone, but there will also be ups and downs when you have the child up for adoption. You will need to chose which ups and downs you would prefer having to deal with.


And one more thing...no matter which route you chose to go, know that there will always be someone opposing your views and may say something negative....the choice is for you to make and you will be strong enough to stand for what you and you alone think is right and believe in. Believe in yourself.

Hope that helps.
Miranda

Wow....i didn't see the part where you said you planned on keeping the baby.

Fantastic, wonderful..congratulations....you'll see you will never be without...have Faith and you will be just as successful in life as anyone else....all you have to do is believe....

Miranda