ok well last night or this morning at 4am my babys father was leaving his friends house and he was drunk and he slammed into a parked car and totaled both cars. so now he is in jail and facing alot of time. (dui, under age, driving without a liscense...ect) and i have been spending time with his mom helping her. we went and got all of his stuff out of his car and everything. the thing is that she doesnt know that im pregnant and i want to tell her but with him being in jail i know its going to be alot of stress on her. I do love my sperm donor but i still am very depressed that he would do something dumb like that and i had even told him that night that if he drank to call me that i didnt care how late it was or how far i had to drive that i would come get him. but when i went to see his truck after it happened there was blood on the stearing wheel and it looked like his head went through it. but right beside where he was sitting was a picture of me and a picture of his nephew that he loves sooooo much. it made me feel like he atleast had something that showed that he does think about me. and all but i wish he would of thought about his future child before he decided to drive drunk. i have to wait untill monday for him to have his first court date and see if he will get out or do time. i just want him to be out for the birth of his child. any advice to pass the time

Mine was in jail when I had my first child with him. I got through it. Actually it was alot better than when he was there with the second. If he grows up fine; if not, why stress over him? You can't do anything about whether he goes to jail anyway. Just wait and go with the flow. Just know that you need to try to not stress as much as possible for the baby's sake (alhtough i am guessing you are not far along if his mother does not know). Find the support you need with his mom if you need to, but make your decisions about your future without him in mind. My advice. May not be what you wanted to hear but I think if you can do it, you and the child will be better off.

i cant stop crying

Ok, I usally never post in this section cause I beleave girls need some space of there own, But, But. I will give you some back ground on myself, maybe it will help you see there is hope.

Before I was 22 I had 4 DUI's, and many minor infractions. Still I grew up to have two buitiful daughters, and live a respectible life. Now maybe this is a good thing, a wake up call. Sometimes we need jarred out of our thinking. I hope he learns this is not the path. I will pray for you tonight, and I haven't done that in ages.
peace.

Why are you worried about HIM? You did nothing wrong and shouldn't be worried about HIS consequences of HIS action. HE did this to HIMSELF and, like you said, did not think about you or the baby, regardless of whether he had a picture of you or not. A responsible father doesn't put his life at risk, knowing the consequences of his actions could leave his child fatherless. You should tell his mom about the pregnancy. Her son is irresponsible and she already knows that. But she will be a grandma soon and also has the right to know that. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to tell her, and the harder it will be for you to hide it. And believe me, you will always be able to find an excuse as to why you shouldn't tell her "now". So just get it over with. You guys can help each other cope with the stress of the situation. There is no sense in either one of you dealing with these issues alone if you can help each other and do it together.

well today is his court date to find out if they are going to give him bond or whatever. but anyway the reason i am upset is because this is the only man i have been with for over a year and he is the love of my life. i do love him. i dont want to tell his mom without him knowing that i am going to tell her but i cant talk to him because he only gets one call a day and he calls his mom. plus i dont need to add that stress on her right now.
paul.... i want to say thanks for the encouragement. i hope that it does change him for the good.

I know that his mom said that he was mad the first day that i found out but after i got all of his stuff out of his truck and spent alot of time with his mom makeing sure that she was ok. (she lives alone with him so now that hes gone she is alone) i think that he realizes that i do care.

Well i have to go to work.

well good news and bad. the good- hes not charged with DUI. he is charged with hit and run, driving on revoked liscense, and drunk in public. the bad- he got denied bond so hes in jail atleast until his court date. which is nov 16th . 10 days after my b-day.
he told his mom yesterday to tell me he was sorry and thank me for getting all of his stuff out of his car. he also tried to call me but hung up cuz my dad answered and he didnt think that my dad would accept the charges. hope i get to talk to him soon

Angel,
One thing I have learned over the years is you can not control other people. You can only do the best you can do for you and others you love. I totally agree with Paul that maybe and hopefully this is a wake up call for him. I know this is a rough time for you and all involved, just remember to be honest and true to yourself.
If you get along with his Mom then it would be best to tell her and let her know what you have said here. Let her know you are concerned about adding to her stress but felt the need to be open and honest with her, she will respect it.
I wish you the best, lots of prayers, God bless.

he called this morning and i talked to him. he sounds ok. finally after a week of him not saying he loves me he said it like 15 times. he said that this was a wake up call and that he never wants to touch alcohol or drink and drive again and that he wants to get his life straight. i told him that was good as long as he follows through with it.
also he told me not to cry that it was gonna be ok and that he loves me. i told him i would be here when he gets out and that i will make sure his mom is ok.
im happier now that i talked to him.
well im off to work

six days of him being in jail. its starting to get routine. he calls each morning. all day during my breaks at work im calling people to find out information and what i need to do. i call his mom and check on her. i get home from work. eat take a shower and sleeping pill and go to bed. god what a life. i had to tell him this morning that the dr's are worried because my lymph node in the back of my neck is swollen and hurts so they took extra blood to check all of that and see if its abnormal. he sounds worried but i told him that it was gonna be ok. then when we said goodbye i was like bye and he said bye then i waited for him to hang up and he didnt and he was like i love u baby. and i said i love u too and wanted to cry

well im going to see him tonight at visitation. wish me luck

I hope the visitation went well.Please take care of yourself thou you are the one that is pregnant.Hope things work out for you both.

things went very well. he seamed upbeat and really concerned about me. i really do think he is gonna straighten up when he gets out