I've read a lot of post on here and what is surprising is the amount of young girls having children that can't spell a lick. What is a 12 yr old going to teach their child, simple math and english, if that???

What in the world are you young girls thinking and where the hell are your parents? Your lack of education, no job, no skills (unless you can put, "I know how to lay down, have unprotected sex, and get pregnant on a job application")

WHY AREN'T YOUR MOTHERS TEACHING YOU NOT TO HAVE SEX AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE? WHO IS GOING TO END UP PAYING FOR THIS MADNESS? This is taken too lightly on this site. Why do you all act like it is cute to have a baby at that age? It's not!

At the age of 12 you definitely got pregnant because you didn't know what the hell you were doing.

You people need to stop promoting this mess. Tell them the truth about what they are doing. TELL THEM THEIR CHILDHOODS ARE NO MORE AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS HARD. NO ONE IS GOING TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEM OR MAKE ANY EXCEPTIONS TO THEIR LACK OF PARENTING OR BEING PARENTED. I only feel sorry for the children they are breeding. AT 12, YOUR LIFE IS INDEED RUINED!

This is crazy!!!!!

I think you meant to write "How Ignorant!!!!" not "How Ignorant?????"
When asking a rhetorical question it is best to use exclamation marks rather than question marks for punctuation.

Websters recommends:
An exclamation mark may be used to close questions that are meant to convey extreme emotion, as in
"What on earth are you doing! Stop!"

No, I definitely meant, "How ignorant?" For your clarification pleasure. I do want to know how ignorant can a person be to have a child at the age of 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, etc. In this day and age, as if someone is going to take care of them and their children. You'd be wise to help them with their GRAMMATICAL errors/sentence structures. Better yet, birth control and a good tongue lashing.

Be advised to come correct or not at all!!! There's your exclamation mark.

Are you for real? I know that stirring controversy can make things interesting but with all due respect, you're coming across absolutely clueless. Things are not black & white - consider socio-economic histories, the mental & behavioral health patterns of the parents and the children having the children. It's suprising to know that there are voices such as yours that are unwilling to look at the whole picture and speak only from their minute perspective. Rather than judge these individuals this forum has (for the most part) been an outlet to educate, support and direct. Perhaps looking inward will help you resolve all this misdirected hostility. Peace.

quote:

Originally posted by cmary:
[qb]Are you for real? I know that stirring controversy can make things interesting but with all due respect, you're coming across absolutely clueless. Things are not black & white - consider socio-economic histories, the mental & behavioral health patterns of the parents and the children having the children. It's suprising to know that there are voices such as yours that are unwilling to look at the whole picture and speak only from their minute perspective. Rather than judge these individuals this forum has (for the most part) been an outlet to educate, support and direct. Perhaps looking inward will help you resolve all this misdirected hostility. Peace.[/qb]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, let's see! You've just past judgment against me, does that make your statement hostile?

How old were you when you had your first child? Promoting school age pregnancies is not my forte. Stop feeding into the propaganda and change those statistics and tell these kids, yeah kids, the truth. Having a baby at that age is ridiculous.

You've proven my point. When you factor in all those strifes against the kids having babies, where in the hell does it end?

Don't criticize me for telling the truth. Having a baby at 12 is not cute and all it does is begets more POVERTY, NO EDUCATION, HOMELESSNESS, CHILD NEGLECT, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WELFARE IS A JOKE (that's a nationwide trap to continue the strifes). Pleasssssssssssssssssssssssse, say what you may, but not speaking the truth is the only thing UNFAIR.

FYI, glad it opened your eyes and has you thinking.

So tell me Speak On It, what are you doing to
make a difference. You are obviously very passionate about this topic. Are you involved with programs or agencies to promote education & preventative action? I've worked with young welfare mothers, provided them with numerous resources, empowered them with education and encouraged their self esteem. What kind of positive difference are you making? Children having Children is an awful reality, this is nothing new. Rather than spew angered words put that energy into making a difference if even in one young persons life. Peace.

I don't think anyone here is advocating being a mother at 12. Shoot, it is hard enough at 40! That's why we are all here! I think we are just here to give each other some support and suggestions, and to help out as we can.(The operative word, as cmary has point out, being "help.")

By the way, I think you meant "passed judgment" not "past judgment."

Yikes.......

I personally tried staying away from this topic because I have a teenage daughter who isn't a teenage mother, thank God. Nor could I imagine how much more difficult my life could of been to have a child at 12. It was difficult at 18 for me. Things have drastically changed economically, i.e. Welfare disbursements (there is no income bracket for those monies, although helpful if needed).

I emphatically agree that having a child at such a young age does more than side-track a young woman's life. I wouldn't say it ruined my life, but it sure put things on hold, things I hope I'll eventually get to in my lifetime. Through my perseverance and hardwork, I can achieve great things.

My mother had me 18 yrs ago, I had my daughter 18 yrs ago, we're all involved in my daughters life to have that positive influence of letting her know that she can make the difference, it can stop with her birth. We'd love her the same, and they often tell me, both she and my 14 yr old, "Mommy, not only does it look painful, I don't want to spend all my money on a baby. We see all the checks you have to write at the end of the month and all the things you have to buy for us. I'm not ready." Those words might seem harsh, but I appreciate their honesty and hope they abide by those words. I've never made life seem easy for us (being single). Thank God, it hasn't been painstaking either. We've come along way and I have so much to be thankful for.

Single parents, male and female, talk to your kids about sex (age appropriate), drugs, alcohol, abuse (all abuse), protective sex, diseases, the bills and what it takes to raise them. We can all do our part.

Thanks

quote:

Originally posted by SpeakOnIt:
[qb]I've read a lot of post on here and what is surprising is the amount of young girls having children that can't spell a lick. What is a 12 yr old going to teach their child, simple math and english, if that???

What in the world are you young girls thinking and where the hell are your parents? Your lack of education, no job, no skills (unless you can put, "I know how to lay down, have unprotected sex, and get pregnant on a job application")

WHY AREN'T YOUR MOTHERS TEACHING YOU NOT TO HAVE SEX AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE? WHO IS GOING TO END UP PAYING FOR THIS MADNESS? This is taken too lightly on this site. Why do you all act like it is cute to have a baby at that age? It's not!

At the age of 12 you definitely got pregnant because you didn't know what the hell you were doing.

You people need to stop promoting this mess. Tell them the truth about what they are doing. TELL THEM THEIR CHILDHOODS ARE NO MORE AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS HARD. NO ONE IS GOING TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEM OR MAKE ANY EXCEPTIONS TO THEIR LACK OF PARENTING OR BEING PARENTED. I only feel sorry for the children they are breeding. AT 12, YOUR LIFE IS INDEED RUINED!

This is crazy!!!!![/qb]

SpeakOnIt:

I'm not embarassed to admit that I agree with everything you commented about. It is pitiful that twelve year olds are going out and having sex. These young girls who are out having unprotected sex is honestly sick because their just children. There not WOMEN! I also blame the MOTHERS of these children because what are they teaching them? What kind of role models are these mothers setting for their daughters? Maybe if we had better parenting in the United States, these children wouldn't be getting pregnant. These twelve year olds thinking their women going out having sex and getting pregnant, just take our tax dollars. I'm honestly getting tired of them eating out the government when they can avoid it. It's awful! What ever happened with sleep overs, movies, etc?

If you believe in statutory rape, and I do, remember that some male is having sex with these babies. And you are worried about our tax dollars?!?! The financial amount is neglegible (particularly when you consider the amount the government bails out Enron, and the uber rich through "tax incentives".) You are right that it is a larger structural problem. I wish all young girls (and boys) had proper access to their parents (without having to go unsupervised through being over worked and a minimum wage that is 65% less than the amount it takes to pay rent nationally), a quality education, adequate health care, etc. But this is the US and we do not live in my ideal world. You WILL spend tax dollars on others as that is part of living in a community (here it is called a "nation".) As a society we find it easier to cut welfare benefits to 2 years, force single welfare mothers out of homes where they could raise their children, (the new policy says that in order to receive benefits you must be out of the home for 40 hours a week--no matter what it is you are doing), cut afterschool activities, etc., and would rather spend upwards of $30,000 to house prisoners (the kids who grew up and broke into you car because they didn't have access to these things) and bail out the rich. Put simply, American society today does not value children. They know it. And many find comfort in the bed of another.
No matter what side you are on on this debate, I am sure that we all agree that we would like to see a decrease in teen pregnancies (they are on the decline, by the way.) So DO something about it. We have an election coming up in a few months. One candidate wants to ban abortions and decrease availability of education and health care to the poor, the other wants to keep abortions accessable and disrupt the privatization of health care and education. http://www.fec.gov/votregis/vr.htm
Is the link for online voter registration.
The few pennies we spend on keeping education, health care, and social services in place will be the best investment towards not spending millions on prisons, repeated generational cycles of poverty, etc.

Michelle,
Just curious, how come you say your angry at the "mothers" of these young girls for not better educating them. Dismissing the role of "father" and how it fits into the dynamic (accountability, responsibility..) only perpetuates this very serious problem. Get off your soapbox, get out there and see the real struggles these families face daily, DO something, anything that will make a difference. Or just stay mad about it.!??
Peace.

Thanks to Yuki for encouraging us all to vote!

For the record, I will be voting and encouraging anyone who will listen too as well.

Can someone please tell me why is it so taboo to not speak about teenage pregnancies, the dynamics of having to have, take care of, and provide for that child?

Cmary, you speak of soapbox (no disrespect, but I don't think Michelle was referring this on a personal level), I hear anger in you. No one is saying that the fathers should be dismissed or not held accountable. However, you and Yuki are forgetting, what is the percentage of "Parent" left taking care of that baby? That is exactly why we have to encourage, teach, preach, and pray that our "daughters" have the right tools in their lives to at least try to make the right choices/decisions. If anyone for once thinks I would not hold my son accountable for his actions, you're incorrect!

As I said, I was a young mom who graduated High School, went on to trade school, have worked over twenty years, but still find myself having to finish my degree to make more than $16.00 an hour to help 4 kids through college. The road was hard and if we could all do it again, I'm sure the majority of us would.

I took my 14 yr old to register for her HS classes. We live in California. Do any of you know what it takes to graduate from high school these days? (I know you do, however, there's an EXIT EXAMINE that you must pass, showing that you actually know what the heck you should of been learning those years in school, in order to graduate) Oh my God..... Here is what the counselor explained to us. My daughter can graduate hs with the basic/required classes and only graduate with those basics, but in order for her to go to a 4 yr college, she would have to take this, that, and more to come. Although I was delighted that the man even took the time to explain in detail that information, could you imagine my daughter having a baby to raise and taking those required classes to attend a four yr, as she intends to? I was sitting in the other chair sweating bullets and saying to myself, "Damn, you have to be a rocket scientist for real to graduate HIGH SCHOOL!" All the while assuring her that we're in this together, she's made it this far with an excellent grade point average, and so on. My daughter was a lot stronger than I was at 18 and wiser.

What chance does a twelve yr old have of completing grade school, middle school, and high school, if she is the one holding the baby in the end? (And for those that feel I'm not getting on the boys, NOT! But how many of US are left taking care of the kids?)

I said all that to say this, I've raised them all with a "fighting chance", as I think someone said. I've struggled to give them the tools they'll need and hopefully use to achieve much more than I have. As parents, that should be our primary goal. I've factored in politics, economics, education, and so on, and the bottom line is that we are responsible for the children we have. We can continue to blame SOCIETY if we want to, but I'm telling you, I see it everyday at work. Parents coming in my office, blatantly telling me they've had it. I'm like, "What the heck does that mean?" Wishing I could ask that out loud. I work in Education/Discipline, and the sad thing is, I have parents coming in here that have just flat out given up. I'm talking from the roota to the toota, upper class to lower class families, single and married families.

What is up with the lack of parenting going on in our society? Who's raising the kids that our coming across my desk daily....carrying knifes at age 7, bringing drugs from out the medicine cabinet to give their classmates, smoking weed and giving a statement stating, "I just felt like chilling on my birthday. What's the big deal." Oh yeah, we can continue to blame our neighbors, but in truth, WE'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR CHILDREN'S ACTIONS....to an extent.

I had a mother in here with her 15 yr old daughter. Her lack of education has perpetuated a cycle of her daughters giving birth to babies at a young age. But here's the flip side of that, how much education does it take to tell your children, male and female, that if they lay down and have sex, period, without protection....YOU'LL HAVE A BABY COMING... I didn't need to complete my grade, middle, high school, or college to know that I could get pregnant.

STOP POINTING FINGERS AND FACE FACTS. Those elements do factor in, but what about the kids that don't have those issues, poverty, no education, etc. Why are they still going out getting pregnant at a young age...?

I really think having a child at 18 was too young, but children having children scares the crap out of me....

JMV....

It's not taboo to speak about teenage pregancy. It's ineffective to be simply angry about it. I'm not angered, I'm disheartened and admittedly, frustrated. This is a great forum to vent & express, but hopefully, it's also a forum to promote change and to be proactive.
I'm inspired by you and your committment to your family and your daughters education. You've given me a heads up as to what to expect when my son hits higher ed. What doesn't sit well with me is the need to blame or judge or see an issue one way.
If we support and encourage and help with what we already know is an issue, we just might help some 12 year old believe in themselves and make better educated choice, ideally. As far as what you see on a daily basis, again it saddens me, the question is "who is doing the raising?" I see the problem as having sooo many layers. Where does it start and where does it end? I guess as I've said, I just try to make a difference one step at a time. I've worked with young students in academic crisis and was struck by the power of just being an ear for someone or just guiding someone in a good direction. As far as how much education it takes to not lie down and have sex. Remember, for some, being intimate with someone satiates a need. In some, that need is attention, acknowledgement, understanding, or just being wanted or accepted. Your not absolved of these feelings if you hold a diploma, degree or oodles of knowledge. Peace.



Can someone please tell me why is it so taboo to not speak about teenage pregnancies, the dynamics of having to have, take care of, and provide for that child?

cmary, you speak of soapbox, I hear anger in you. No one is saying that the fathers should be dismissed or not held accountable. However, you or Yuki are forgetting, what is the percentage of "Parent" left taking care of that baby? That is exactly why we have to encourage, teach, preach, and pray that our "daughters" have the right tools in their lives to at least try to make the right choices/decisions. If anyone for once thinks I would hold my son accountable for his actions, you're incorrect!

As I said, I was a young mom who graduated High School, went on to trade school, have worked over twenty years, but still find myself having to finish my degree to make more than $16.00 an hour to help 4 kids through college. The road was hard and if we could all do it again, I'm sure the majority of us would.

I took my 14 yr old to register for her HS classes. We live in California. Do any of you know what it takes to graduate from high school these days? (I know you do, however, there's an EXIT EXAMINE that you must pass, showing that you actually know what the heck you should of been learning those years in school, in order to graduate) Oh my God..... Here is what the counselor explained to us. My daughter can graduate hs with the basic/required classes and only graduate with those basics, but in order for her to go to a 4 yr college, she would have to take this, that, and more to come. Although I was delighted that the man even took the time to explain in detail that information, could you imagine my daughter having a baby to raise and taking those required classes to attend a four yr, as she intends to? I was sitting in the other chair sweating bullets and saying to myself, "Damn, you have to be a rocket scientist for real to graduate HIGH SCHOOL!" All the while assuring her that we're in this together, she's made it this far with an excellent grade point average, and so on. My daughter was a lot stronger than I was at 18 and wiser.

What chance does a twelve yr old have of completing grade school, middle school, and high school, if she is the one holding the baby in the end? (And for those that feel I'm not getting on the boys, NOT! But how many of US are left taking care of the kids?)

I said all that to say this, I've raised them all with a "fighting chance", as I think someone said. I've struggled to give them the tools they'll need and hopefully use to achieve much more than I have. As parents, that should be our primary goal. I've factored in politics, economics, education, and so on, and the bottom line is that we are responsible for the children we have. We can continue to blame SOCIETY if we want to, but I'm telling you, I see it everyday at work. Parents coming in my office, blatantly telling me they've had it. I'm like, "What the heck does that mean?" Wishing I could ask that out loud. I work in Education/Discipline, and the sad thing is, I have parents coming in here that have just flat out given up. I'm talking from the roota to the toota, upper class to lower class families, single and married families.

What is up with the lack of parenting going on in our society? Who's raising the kids that our coming across my desk daily....carrying knifes at age 7, bringing drugs from out the medicine cabinet to give their classmates, smoking weed at giving a statement stating, "I just felt like chilling on my birthday. What's the big deal." Oh yeah, we can continue to blame our neighbors, but in truth, WE'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR CHILDREN'S ACTIONS....to an extent.

I had a mother in here with her 15 yr old daughter. Her lack of education has perpetuated a cycle of her daughters giving birth to babies at a young age. But here's the flip side of that, how much education does it take to tell your children, male and female, that if they lay down and have sex, period, without protection....YOU'LL HAVE A BABY COMING... I didn't need to complete my grade, middle, high school, or college to know that I could get pregnant.

STOP POINTING FINGERS AND FACE FACTS. Those elements do factor in, but what about the kids that don't have those issues, poverty, no education, etc. Why are they still going out getting pregnant at a young age...?

I really think having a child at 18 was too young, but children having children scares the crap out of me....

JMV....[/QB][/QUOTE]

Oh, before I forget, Cmary, thank you!

I am not disagreeing with anyone's pov on here.

My major is Psychology. I've been asked constantly at work, will I use my degree to be a school counselor? Whew, let me tell you, I work on the discipline side of the issue right now, and to think of counseling kids that don't have a reinforced foundation at home.

My intention is not to make anyone feel like I'm "Preaching to the choir." Not my intention at all. I believe most of has an understanding of the "cause and effect" of this epidemic (that may be a bit harsh). I also believe that we're all on the same page.

My 14 yr old attended school with young girls that have already had abortions and/or planning how to get pregnant by the over-aged boyfriends (so they think). A young girl told my daughter she was pregnant after having sex with her adult boyfriend a week before. When she first told me this during one of our evening talks, the breath was literally knocked out of me. My daughter asked, "Mom, how is it possible for her to know that she's pregnant a week later? I thought you had to miss a period or something." What I first admired was that my daughter even asked me that question. I've stressed to all of them that no matter what they hear or are told, ask me. If I don't have the answers, we'll try to find them.

What was told to me was the girl was not happy at home, she was having a tough time with her home life and family, she was searching for that love and attention via her guy friend. I told my daughter that my heart goes out to this girl for thinking that the love she deserves and needs is not through the touch, kiss, hug, or pen** of that boy. What she needs is the love of her family. That closeness and attention. She won't find it in him. Sadly, my daughter told me she didn't see the girl at the end of the school year. I have no idea where or how she is doing. She did tell my daughter that she was "trying" to get pregnant and wasn't currently. YIKESSSSSSSSSS.....

Here's something I want to express. My father holds the same major. He told me the biggest thing with the career/field I'm taking is "WE TAKE ON WANTING TO SAVE THE WORLD." I told him if I can help one person, that can help the next person, and so on. I'm good!

Peace to you!

Everyone has a role in the raising of a child. You cant only blame the mother, the fahter, school and t.v have roles to. School will not talk about sex with kids because the stupid and all TV is promote sex. So before you go pointing fingers at just one person sit back and look at the whole picture. Kids that age are in school most of the day, they should get taught in school about safe sex, the risk of teen pregancy and the risk of STD. Futher more have you have to look at the role TV plays it makes sex look something that should be taking lightly and doesnt show the outcome of what can happen. So before you start naming just one person for babys having babys you need to look at the whole picture And even at that I was told about what can result for having sex but I didnt listen, I still become a teenage mother. I was 19 when I had my son. and then I had my daughter at 21 now Im a single mother but to me my kids are better off with a deadbeat father in there life