hi everyone, my name's Tish. I'm not a teen mother, but i would like to ask you all for a little help. there is a girl i've run into online, and i don't personally know her, but i'm worried about her anyway. she's 15 and is trying to get pregnant. i don't know how many of you would do this, but if a couple of you could talk to her, i think it might persuade her to think about her decision before she acts on it. she has been told by tons of people that she should think about what she's doing before she lets her 16 year old boyfriend get her pregnant, but she refuses to listen. if any of you could offer her any advice as to why she should wait, i think she might get it a little better. as i said, i don't know her, don't know her name, but i have had friends who have gotten pregnant and have painful memories from it, and i want to help this girl by making her think about what she's doing and whether or not it's in the best interests of her, her boyfriend, her family, and her baby. I would really appreciate it if any of you could help me with this. if you could just post the notes, i will get them to her through an online service that she uses. thank you.

*TISH*

hi tish...
my name's michelle, i'm 19, and pregnant right now. i didn't choose to get pregnant, i was actually on the pill, but it was just one of those things that's meant to happen for whatever reason i guess. anyways, the father of my soon to be son already has a six year old daughter. even though i didn't plan the pregnancy i was sure he would be excited about it because of how dependable and loving he is with his daughter. well, to make a long story short, we are just now getting back on good terms after him not calling me for two months straight. i love my son already and don't regret any of the decisions i've made. however, i do wish that things could have gone a little different for me. i wish i were married right now with a career and a full education and decent bank account. i wish this had been planned. i wish it could have been a happy experience for everyone to celebrate from the beginning instead of worry about. the bottom line is that no matter how good you think your man is, you have no idea what kind of support you'll get from until the time comes and then it's too late. i'm lucky enough to have my parent's full support but it's still the hardest thing i've ever had to go through. there's no way i could have done this at 15. well, i've babbled enough. i hope my story helps.
~michelle

I met my sons father when I was 14 years old and immediately feel "in love". I am 23 now with a little boy who is almost one year old and his father is nowhere to be found. Mind you, this is the same boy who begged me to have his son. Just the idea of me trying to do what I do every day of my life at only 15 years old is totally absurd. At 15 you should be trying to enjoy your CHILDHOOD not trying to grow up. You desperately need to understand that you can make a decision in one second that will change your life FOREVER!!!!! I worship my son and wouldn't take anything for him, but this is the hardest thing that I have ever done. The responsibility alone is outrageous. Think about this. When a baby is first born they eat about every 2 hours. Whether or not you are sleeping this child is hungry. Can you imagine having to wake up every two hours to feed a screaming baby? Children need constant attention. They begin to crawl and walk so fast. They put things into their mouths constantly. I can't tell you how many times a day I have to dig things out of my sons mouth, and my house is really clean. At your age you can't possibly know what it means to have someone who always needs you, can't do things on their own. You are your childs world and you are still just a child yourself. Please, don't do this. You have your whole life ahead of you to make decisions like this. Give your baby a future. Go to school, get a good job, get married to a wonderful man and then have children. I know that you don't care what other people think, I never did. I sure wish that I had listened to some of the things that people told me. I would not be struggling the way that I am today.

I am 19, and in 3 1/2 months I will be giving birth to my son. My pregnancy was also unplanned, but at the same time now I can't think back on what I could have or should have done. Now it is all about my son, and what has to be done to make sure that he is taken care of. I should be in my second year of college right now, but I decided to pick up more hours at work to save up for my baby. And I don't regret it because it's what I have to do. But especially at 15! you haven't even graduated from high school. You can't even get a REAL job. How can you and your 16 year old boyfriend provide for this baby? Where will you live? Who will take care of the baby while you two are in school? How will you pay your bills? The whole idea of having a baby is not a bad thing. But when the time is right if you can help it. And not just for selfish reasons. The baby deserves to have parents who are ADULTS and not children themselves. And also you owe it to your self to at least complete high school, and try to build a career. Babies are cute...they smell good most of the time...and they will depend on you and love you regardless...but there is more to it then that. Much more-and that needs to be taken into consideration. I personally don't know what I would have done at 15 with a baby when I think about where I was emotionally, and mentally at that time in my life. Girls practice to be mothers there whole lives. Even as toddlers playing with dolls. But that doesn't mean that you just go and have a baby because you want to. Babies don't just live on love. They have to eat, be clothed, get medical care, have a place to live...I know I myself am not in any position to dictate what someone else should do with their lives, but if this girl does do this, it is a permanent decision, and she will have to live with it for the rest of her life. That is not even considering that her man will stay with her. Because as a footnote if he decides to up and leave, she will be the one stuck with the baby not him.

Hey, I just wanted to thank you three for putting in your thoughts. It's really great to see people helping each other at different times. Thanks. later~ *TiSH*

hi tish,

im 17 and i got pregant at the age of 16 i have a 9 month old daughter right now and ill tell you from me being a teen mother it is not easy in the most part ! the lador for me was 17 hours and those 17 hours was the most worst hours of my life ! i had ivs in me ! i had an epadrel but i couldnt get it until it was 2 hours away from me having her ! when it was time for me to have her i couldnt push her out so my doctor had to cut me 3 times so she would come out ! then when she was out she wasnt breathing right ! and then pain that goes with haveing a baby was so unbareble ! then the next day you are in so much pain from having her ! i couldnt sit down all the way until at least 3 weeks i had stiches everywhere ! i had them in and out ! which im a tiny girl so it makes it even harder ! you have to wake up every 3 hours for the frist 4 months to feed her and change diapers ! i wasnt plaining on having a baby so young but i got pergant and the father was a druggie and i didnt want my child being raised around that ! then i have a friend who is pergant right now and when she told the father he ran off and she cant find him ! so my advice to you is to wait until you are really ready for a kid ! not just ready to have a little child to have and call yours but when you can support the child and when your able to get the child everything it needs ! belive me a child is not cheep ! i have 1 job and it is still hard to support her but thanks to my family they are there for me ! i hope what i have told you will make you think again about haveing a child because a child doesnt only need love it needs baby milk ,diapers, cloths every month, a home ,a carseat ,socks shoes, sleepers, ones , bottles , diaper wips, a bed to sleep in , medicen if he/she every gets sick , and the list goes on and on and on so PLEASE THING ABOUT BRINGING A CHILD INTO THIS LIFE IF YOU CANT SUPPORT IT ! AND JUST THINNK ABOUT ALL THE PAIN YOU WILL GO THROUGH ! its not easy as everyone says it is ! i know im a teen mother ! and to tell you the truth it doesnt get easyer!so i say this again please thing about everything i have said before you make this choice because this choice is bogger then you will ever think of !

hey tish,
i am 17 and and concieved at 15. i left the father b/c he's a bum. it's been soooo hard and although babies are miraceles i do wish my miracel had waited. i had no idea what i was in for. please try to get her to see reason. if it will help, have her e-mail me at nggg01@yahoo.com. maybe she'll listen.

hi my name is ashley, I got pregnant when i was 14 i had a month and a half before my 15th birthday unlike many others me and her father are still together we have had our bad times but it has been very extremely hard.. i am only in the 10 th grade go to school and work so just have her email me i think she will change her mind once she gets to know my story