I'm 19 years old and 17 weeks pregnant. It was an accident. Something that happened one night after the club with a friend. I know he doesn't want to be a father and I don't want to pressure him. He has a girlfriend too. She doesn't know and neither does his mother. He's known since I was 5 weeks pregnant. I'm confused and alone except for my mother who is very supportive. What should I do?

welcome lilmomma,

you'll find a few young woman who are or have been in your situation here on the forum. Good you came here. Discussing things can help a lot.
I'm glad you found your way here.

What should you do ?
Focus on the future and not think about the 'could have's and should've's',... just like you're already doing it, aren't you ?!

This is your life now, and you can do it.

Dew

Welcome lilmomma.

I too was 19 and pregnant. The dad was my boyfriend at the time but that really made no difference. The one thing I would advise you not to do is to try to figure everythign out right now. Don't tell him that you are or are not going to file for any support. You really do not know what is going to happen in the future and you should not make any promises to him either way. Just take care of yourself for now and feel free to seek all the support you need here. Feel free to offer it to others here too. We all need it!

Jeanne

Welcome!

I'm 17 years old..my daughter was born when I was 14...so I have experience with a lot of what you're going through. Just take it day by day, don't make any rash decisions, and follow your heart. You're a parent now and that's the most important thing. Everything else will fall into place. If the father of your baby decides he doesn't want to be a dad, you can still be an excellent single mother. My daughter has never met her mother, but she's a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl.

Stay active and have fun.

-Ryan

Welcome to the board. It is really a great place to come and meet other parents. The great thing is that most of the people don't judge, they are just here to help, support and guide us through rough times and to rejoyce with us during the good times. I hope you'll like this place as much as I do.

I know what you are going through. I'm a teen mother, I had triplets when I was 13 years old. They are now beautiful five year old kindergarteners. I am now 18 and pregnant again with another little girl. My daughter's don't know their biological father and I barely even know him. I am very lcky with my boyfriend now because he is raising my daughters and he is excited to become a father.

The best thing you could do is to just let the father have some time to come around and if he dosen't then you don't need him. Once you have that baby he/she will be your pride and joy and you will learn how to be a single mom. It isn't always easy, but it seems like you have a good support system behind you with your mom. If he does come around and decides that he wants to be in his child's life then he's a real man and I applaud him. Just know that you don't need a man in your life and the baby will be fine as long as it has it's mother's love.

Hi lilmom, how old were you and how fare along were you when you found out you were preg.?
Did you finish high school?
have you and him been sexually active since that so called first time accident?
is your mom the soul supporter of you? get back.

Welcome. Be sure and give your mom a big hug for being so supportive. There are a lot of parents out there he wouldn't be. Focus on the future and hang in there. Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by bif lover:
[qb] Hi lilmom, how old were you and how fare along were you when you found out you were preg.?
Did you finish high school?
have you and him been sexually active since that so called first time accident?
is your mom the soul supporter of you? get back. [/qb]

I'm 19 and I found out when I was 4 weeks.I'm now about 18 weeks. I didn't finish highschool. I got my GED when I was 16 and I have completed three semesters at the local college. Well I know him because he is friends with all the people I hang around. After the initial incident, we had *** again two days later. But not since then.

quote:

Originally posted by Dew:
[qb] welcome lilmomma,

you'll find a few young woman who are or have been in your situation here on the forum. Good you came here. Discussing things can help a lot.
I'm glad you found your way here.

What should you do ?
Focus on the future and not think about the 'could have's and should've's',... just like you're already doing it, aren't you ?!

This is your life now, and you can do it.

Dew [/qb]

Thanks Dew. I can already see that this will be a great support system. I am trying to look towards the future and not dwell on the past. I feel diffrently every day but I realize I'm gonna be ok with or without his help.

quote:

Originally posted by mr. ryan:
[qb] Welcome!

I'm 17 years old..my daughter was born when I was 14...so I have experience with a lot of what you're going through. Just take it day by day, don't make any rash decisions, and follow your heart. You're a parent now and that's the most important thing. Everything else will fall into place. If the father of your baby decides he doesn't want to be a dad, you can still be an excellent single mother. My daughter has never met her mother, but she's a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl.

Stay active and have fun.

-Ryan [/qb]

Ryan,

Thanks for the words of wisdom. Your daughter is very lucky to have a father like you. Guys like you come few and far between.

-Jessica

quote:

Originally posted by Lorelai*Piper*Phoebe:
[qb] Welcome to the board. It is really a great place to come and meet other parents. The great thing is that most of the people don't judge, they are just here to help, support and guide us through rough times and to rejoyce with us during the good times. I hope you'll like this place as much as I do.

I know what you are going through. I'm a teen mother, I had triplets when I was 13 years old. They are now beautiful five year old kindergarteners. I am now 18 and pregnant again with another little girl. My daughter's don't know their biological father and I barely even know him. I am very lcky with my boyfriend now because he is raising my daughters and he is excited to become a father.

The best thing you could do is to just let the father have some time to come around and if he dosen't then you don't need him. Once you have that baby he/she will be your pride and joy and you will learn how to be a single mom. It isn't always easy, but it seems like you have a good support system behind you with your mom. If he does come around and decides that he wants to be in his child's life then he's a real man and I applaud him. Just know that you don't need a man in your life and the baby will be fine as long as it has it's mother's love. [/qb]

Thank you so much. I already love this place. Everyone is so warm and friendly. It's nice not to feel like people are judging you. You seem like you have been through so much to be so young. I admire your strength and courage.

-jessica

Thank you, Jessica. You'll be fine. Stay active and post any concerns/problems you have..you'll be supported.

-Ryan

im 19, had my daughter on jan 13. i havent told the father yet 1` due to the fact i didnt know till i was in labor with i was preg, n 2 hes now ib prison for 4 yrs and i dont know haw to contact him, my parents are supportive and you just gotta take it day by day. your lucky your mom is suupportive most moms wouldnt be. heres my aim name deadlove2006 im whenever you.

Hey there.....

I think at the end of the day the responsibility is up to you and its your decision, everybody's situation is different, Im now turning 20 in 4 months and Im a single mom and couldn't be more proud and happier. But what maybe worked for me may not work for you I can only offer advice, or inspiration.I know a few people now my story, but here is a interesting article that you can read, it may look long, but do yourselve a faviour and take the time to read.....its a letter that my mom wrote about me to a website called woman24.com, they selected the article and put it on the front page.........

Lindy's* 'Recognition for a young mother'
I wish to tell you about a very special person, who I think needs an award for being brave, graceful and honest.
I admire her for standing up for what she believes, fighting for her child and most of all being a GREAT mum!

I do not wish to mention her name, but I can tell you that I am a young grandmother and that I adore my grandchild and have a lot of respect for my daughter.

My daughter is a 19-year-old Mom, with a 2 1/2 year old son. She fell pregnant when she was in standard 8 (15 years old) and continue her schooling career. She only missed out on approximately 2 1/2 months of school, before returning to school in standard 9.

Ever since the day she fell pregnant, she was determined to keep her unborn baby, even though she was unsure about where she would live or how she would take care of it.

During her pregnancy she went through some traumatic experiences. She experienced the changes in her body and lost most of her friends and also the father of her unborn baby. But still, she was determined to keep going. She was the typical confused pregnant teenager, never really knowing what was lying ahead of her.

She would make scrapbooks; write down thoughts of how she thinks her baby was going to look and also wrote of all her emotions. Seeing the changes she had to go through from being a 15-year-old schoolgirl (wearing a size 33) to a being huge, pregnant woman and also the confusion that she felt about how she would cope in the future really broke my heart into pieces.

But she kept going, not asking for much and being happy with even a small present being given to her.

During this period she had to take a lot of hammering not only from her school but also from outsiders looking down on her. After giving birth in December, she rested for 1 month, after which she continued her school career (after a C-section) and held her head high, talking about a darling son.

This period was an emotional rollercoaster. The baby's father lost his visitation rights. This gave her control over her child's future but also a lot of maternal responsibilities during her school career.

She continued her schooling career and her marks continued to improve. This went on until the end of Matric. During her Matric year she started planning to get a job in order to assist with the financial burden of the baby.

She would never ask for anything more than just the most necessary items and would always be thankful and take pride in her child. She would take photos of her son, enter him into baby competitions.

What was most amazing to me, is her ongoing determination during these years. No matter what happened, and believe me there were trials, she continued to help and emotionally support the people around her.

She has been through a lot. She is learning to be a mother, learning how to discipline her son, but has always given her son so much love. And when you see her son, he is always smiling and happy.

In 2004 she finished her Matric year and during January 2005, she began working. She has since gained a lot of career experience, and has applied for a second job, which she was successful in doing. She is starting a new career in one of South Africa's biggest banking Institutions.

She is a strong, well-balanced, kind and sensitive woman, who is sensitive to others, supportive and also determined to get ahead in life no matter what has happened.

She has spoken in front of others, telling them about her beliefs and told them that they should always to look forward and keep going. She always makes sure that her son is part of our life and we love him dearly.

She gives only the best to her child and has kept her eyes up and kept her faith and also stimulates her child daily. She is always making sure he only gets the best, although she is just a teenage mother. She has a combination of determination, strength and sensitivity. She is so well-mannered and loving and is an example to even older mothers.

Although she has made her mistakes, she has that same maturity of older mothers and keeps striving to give her child only the best.

Lindy*
* name has been changed

As you can see Im a teen mother and proud of it.....hope my story will help you in some way.

Good luck!

Lovies
me

I was 19 when I had my son. I am now 22. He is my everything. It's weird how much you will love your baby once it is in the world. I was with his father my pregnancy but he wasnt much help. My parents (mostly mom) helped me with everything. It was tough and I didnt feel like I has anyone my age to talk to..... I maybea little older than you but I have been in your place. If you need anything feel free to im me at meggababy.... congrats and good luck!