I am New to SFV
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I have had that same feeling, but you will get past it. I am 21 and I have a one year old. i love my son to death, but times do get hard. You're only 14, you have so much ahead of you. I think if you got pregnant on purpose, it would be selfish. Think about the kind of life you would be able to give a child at your age. How would you even be able to get to the Dr.? Who would pay for this? What happens when you get older and you want to go out? I am at that point right now. In fact, the other week I had a melt down. I love my son, but it's hard to not have the freedom a normal 21 year old has. If I want to go out, I have to find someone to watch my son. Then, I dont want to go out too much b/c I feel guilty for leaving my son, especially when I'm gone all day at work. i want to go back to school, but I dont know if I can afford the money or the time. There is so much that i wish i could do, but i cant. I just have to look at my son and see how much i love him and that i am now living my life to try and make him happy. It's not just about me. You may feel like you need the companionship now, but later you will want to do your own thing, but you have to remember....once you have a child you are a mother 24-7. not just when you are with your child, but when you're out with a guy, or a friend, or a party. you pick up a huge responsibility and it's not something you can ever put aside or get rid of. It's permanent. i think you are way too young to even be thinking about this. You can meet new people and enjoy your life. just turn to other things, other than sex. I'm here if you ever need help or someone to talk to.
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| Posts: 3 | Location: California | Registered: 30 October 2003 |    |
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I am New to SFV
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quote: Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003: [qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely. Im I dumb????????[/qb]
You are not the first 14 year old to think of this 'solution'. Listen to these cranky moms: They are lovingly telling you the straight up TRUTH about the misconception that your baby will fix your friendless problembs. My daughter is needy, yes, and dirty, and selfish in her needs cuz she dosnt CARE is mommy is tired, she still wants attention (even more so) she dosnt mind crying or yelling or screaming for any or all reasons even though I may be sick, barfing, she still needs her diaper changed and nutritious food. I once had food poisoning, no transportation, had to haul her in a carseatless taxi, she was an absoulute terror, cuz she didnt care at the ER that mommy was feeling like she would die. And for DAMN sure, no one else helped me. No one cares but me about my sleepless nights, potty training nightmares, terror when my daughter has a raging fever, ect ect ect. Having a baby is NOT the solution, girl! Take it from me, now 19, who had my beauty baby at 16, and is married to her daddy. I have support. I still think it was a stupid ignorant decision for me to be so ignorant about practicing safe sex. Then, I could have had so many more educational opprotunities. Not to mention, I was 130 LBS b4 prego, and weighed 220 lbs afterwards. HELLO! ARE WE GETTING THROUGH! WE SAY THIS CUX WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! STOP SAYING YOU DONT HAVE FRIENDS, AND TALK TO US! email me at justinac*jys.org. Im your friend. So no more excuses to want to get prego!
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| Posts: 11 | Location: Alaska | Registered: 17 November 2003 |    |
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I am New to SFV
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First of all, I am sure that your family does love you, although they sometimes don't show it. I felt the same way before I got pregnant with my daughter, which is why I got pregnant. Well, my bf left me, and I realized just how much my parents love me. Now I'm 19, and my daughter is 3 years old, and the most perfect thing in my life.
My mom passed away a month ago, and I'm living with my dad trying to help him make it through. For the past 3 years I was taking care of my mom, she had emphesema, and couldnt' even feed herself.but We managed.
Don't just get pregnant, to "HAVE a FRIEND" that is stupid (yes I'm stupid) A child isn't justyour friend, you have to take care of them, love them, and as they grow older they are embarrased of you, so you are never really friends.
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| Posts: 1 | Location: USA | Registered: 10 December 2003 |    |
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Parent on Board
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quote: Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003: [qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely. Im I dumb????????[/qb]
LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT OKAY!! YOU SAID IN YOUR PERSONAL REVIEW THAT WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO IS (AND YOU ONLY PUT) GO OUT!!!!! COME ON YOU WANT A CHILD NOT ONLY AT 14 BUT YOU WANT TO GO OUT...YEAH YOU WANT TO GO OUT BCS YOU HAVENT SEEN THE WORLD YET... YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT HAVING A BABY ISNT GOING TO BRING COMPLETE "LOVE" OF WHAT YOU WANT. YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND GROW UP MORE SWEETIE! THERE ARE ALL DIFFERENT FORMS AND STAGES OF LOVE. JUST KNOW TAHT ALL THINGS DO PASS AND THAT HAVING A CHILD IS ONLY GOING TO HOLD YOU BACK FROM EXPERIENCING LIFE. I HAD A BABY 4 MONTHS AGO AND THE FRIENDS I HAVE DONT CALL BCS THEY KNOW I CANT GO OUT AND THE DAD ISNT THERE! KNOW THAT THE ONLY PERSON YOU REALLY CAN MAKE HAPPY IN LIFE IS YOURSELF AND I KNOW YOU ARE "DEPRESSED,OR UPSET" BCS YOU DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE YET.WE ALL ARE FEELING THAT TOO! ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL ALWAYS COME IN GO IN LIFE BUT YOUR SELF RESPECT AND ACTIONS STAY WITH YOU. BE SMART ABOUT THIS YOU KNOW YOU ARENT READY IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASKING IF ITS DUMB OR NOT. LIKE THEY SAY IF YOU THINK ITS WRONG IT MOST LIKELY ALWAY IS (ATLEAST YOUR BELIEF OF THE ISSUE IS) I HOPE YOU MAKE A SMART CHOICE ON YOUR ACTIONS AND I PRAY FOR THE BEST OF LUCK WITH YOU!!!! YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posts: 160 | Location: chicago | Registered: 08 January 2004 |    |
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Learning to Surf The Board
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Trust me you do not want to have a baby right now. Take it from me I am 16 years old and have a 4 year old daughter.(I know, TERRIBLE) I just got a car a couple days ago and before I got it It was extremely hard for me to get around. It was always just me and Erika at home, It was just like I raised myself and my daughter.I just currently went back to school. I had to drop out and do home school for 3 months. I fell pregnant at 12 and my momma and daddy were pissed, they sent my to live with my Nanna and Papa in Farmington. And then we moved here in Saint Louis. I lived with them in a tiny apartment and then later moved into a three bedroom. My parents never knowedgled that I was their daughter. The day I gave birth they weren't even there. Eric's parents on the other hand, were there and excited. My parents came around when Erika was 4 weeks old. When moved back home with them when she was 7 weeks old. My daughter is now four years old and ouble the trouble and twic the fun. And sometimes I struggle to get up in the morning because my life is such a mess. SOmetimes we have our "good mornings" and sometimes not. Are you sure that your baby's father will stay around? I was sure Eric would stay around, but when Erika was 11 months he started denying her and we broke up. And the paternity test proved him wrong, he's the father. And then if you want go out. I have to take my daughter everywhere I go because my parents don't watch unless it really important. And baby's are really exspensive. I spend more money on my daughter then I do on me. I get $400 every two weeks to spend on the both of us and its like spend 75% on her anyway. Do you have your parents support? Like I said, my parents never supported me. Are you ready to give up your childhood and take responsiblity for another life, because basically that is all your doing. Me personally, I regret giving up my childhood that is why I want my daughter to do all the things I weren't able to do. I was never able to hang out with friends, or anything else. I'm just warning you of the mistake I made.I had my daughter at 12 years old, I wasn't able to support neither of us. My parents put me put me out when I told them I was pregnant, I just hope that doesn't happen to you. Things can get really stressful trust me,sometimes I have to literally drag myself out of bed. I really hope this helped.
~Alisha~
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| Posts: 20 | Location: Saint Louis | Registered: 10 February 2004 |    |
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