quote:

Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003:
[qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely.
Im I dumb????????[/qb]

hey Sweety I know your probaly feeling alone because the only person you cared or thought you cared about left you. I'm not going to lie to you or tell you do what you want it's your life not mine. I am going to tell you its not easy and you need to make sure that if you really wany a child that you are physically, financially, mentally ready to have a child because having a child at a young age can really mess up your female organs and could possibly stop you from ever having another child. you also don't want to have to depend on your family and friends to support your child because at 14 you probaly want be able to get a job. If you aren't mentally ready have you seen those women on the news who killed their children it's called post-partum and its because they were not mentally capable of reising childrennull

Hi Butterfly mami2003,
I have just been reading all of your replies. I hope that you take on board what everyone has been telling you. You are way too young to be thinking about having a child.Your body is still growing, it doesn't need anything inside there damaging everything as it grows. You're probably thinking that babies are cute, you can play with them all day long....wrong!! You cannot take the batteries out when they won't stop crying and put them away in the cupboard until you're ready to play mummy again. They are with you 24/7!! Babies get sick often when they are young, and they don't sleep through the night until they are atleast 8 weeks old( if you are lucky) Can you handle not having much sleep for what will seem like for ever? When you are sick, they are still going to want your attention 24/7. When you are tired, you are still going to be on duty. Offer to look after someones new born(if they'd let you) for about a week, and you will soon come to your senses.Why do you feel that no-one likes you? What did you do or say to these people that would make them not like you? Just remember If you want to have friends, you've got to be a friend first. Is there a church group that you can join in your area, try a few out, you never know you might be suprised by what you find. I recently joined a church group and I love it. Are there any youths groups in your area? What about community centres, they often have programmes for young people. Take a real good look at yourself and ask yourself what you can do to be a better person(let's face it, we could all be better people)Would you want to be your friend? If not, change some things about yourself that you don't like, whether it be attitudes, language, and anything else you think might help. If you would want to be your friend, then that's great!! Go out and meet some new people, set up a good foundation for yourself, find a hobby, dejunk your life.What about a spiritual cleansing, it wouldn't hurt, You are the only person who can change your life for the better.. You are in the drivers seat of your destiny,Only you can choose to crash and burn(not a good idea!) or you can choose to make it to your destination:-wealthy,healthy and wise.Take control,Keep a level head and you will Succeed in the path of life.Good Luck!!

I'm 33 with a 9 and 10 year old. I had my bachelor's degree before ever having my first, and it is STILL a nightmare providing for my family! Girl, you are still young. God loves you, and I'm sure there are GOOD people out there who will love you too. Having a baby does NOT fill that need. Sure, they'll love you, and you'll love them. But they are so much work that it can make you forget how much love there is if you are not ready emotionally, physically, etc. Most girls your age give birth to premature, unhealthy babies. That would mean bills, doctor's visits, no sleep, high maintenance, crying, etc.--not to mention the heartbreak of watching your little one suffer! Be patient. Finish school, go to college, and get your feet firmly planted first. Wait until you meet a wonderful husband who will love you, protect you, support you. Because then he will do the same for the little one and you can be a happy family. Be a more loving person than those around you, but don't start a family now. Hang in there!

Hi, I thought I would reply to your comments eventhough Iam Male.

Are you really sure about this course of action?
Emotions are a cruel thing especially when you are a Teenager, even more so with girl's.
You are being a little unfair to yourself.
It would be wise to finish school and see a little of life. Before embarking on a life with kid(s). As in the early days they are the most selfish people around as they can
do nothing for themselves.
In reality it would be your Parent's raising your child until you are able to financially able to support and commit yourself on a permanent 24/7 basis.
Parenting is the toughest job in the world.Are you mentally prepared for the stress.
I realise what I may say next may offend you
Please accept my profound apologises.But it isn't about dressing up a baby to look sweet or playing games with dolls anymore.It is total commitment,stress,sleepless nights,real child illnesses and coping with it.
Be smart stay at school ,have a future with money to spend on yourself and have kid(s) in your 20's when you can be independent of others supporting you.

Best wishes,

Mark

Butterly_Mami 2003, are you still there ?

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003:
[qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely.
Im I dumb????????[/qb]

A baby might make you feel not lonely, but it will definitely not make life any easier.

You Might Wanna Think Having A Baby Over Again You Are So Young , You Won't Get To Do The Things You Wanna Do Going To Movies Hanging Out With Friends Things Like That. Life Is Hard Enough At Your Age Just Adding A Baby To It Will Make It Even Harder ,
But Its Your Life~

i just wanted to say that you arent stupid but seriously..taking care of a child is a life long responsibility..and if you want one just because you have no friends..that is wrong..you are only 14..graduate..i am 18 and i have a 10 month old..and it is not easy..im still in school and its so tough to get through the days sometimes..sometimes you just want to sit there and cry like everyday..me and my ex had a great relationship until he found out i was pregnant and left me..moved to cali and is getting married..how do you know your boyfriend will stay with you? seriously..most guys find out you are pregnant and leave..thats just how they are..well not all of them..but maybe you should be with your boyfriend longer..perhaps get married instead of rushing into things..you have years down the road to have a baby..you should wait..i love my daughter but i wish i could have waited..seriously..

i know your message is a few months old but im replying anyway.
i had a child at 16. and trust me it ruins your life.
what it comes down to is...
are you bringing the kid in the world for the right reasons?
stop thinking of yourself and think of the child.
luv sal

[hi my name is jessica hanson i am 15 and my son is 18 months old i had him when i was 13 i used to feel the same way but his dad left me and he was not there for me and i did not think he would do that to me but now he is in jai and i have a booy friend who his been my friend for 4 years and he was the one there for me and my son not his father now i am pregent i am 3 months so i think if u relly want a baby hve one but do not cry when he leves find some one elseQUOTE]Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003:
[qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely.
Im I dumb????????[/qb][/QUOTE]

well ruin is a little harsh but "re-order" would be it in my case. i was 21 when i got the twins but anyway, it was hard on me. i wanted to finish university and everything but hell ... i would never have wanted a baby at teenager times. it was an issue becuase twice i thought "it" would have happened ....

my best friend had a babyboy at 15 - she never finished school. i mean if it happens okay but i would never plan it ... never ever!
you are only young once ... thats my opinion and as soon as you have kids life is very different, not bad but different.

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly_mami2003:
[qb]Im 14 and I want to be pregnant soo bad and not because I want my ex to 'love' me but because even though I know my parents love me I dont have any friends my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months who kinda broke my virginity and my sister(I have 2)cant stand me.All my cousins are either too old or too young to be around and im always alone.I could deal with it before because my bestfriend(my boyfriend)was here with me but know its unbearable so I feel if I had a baby and someone to depend on me and someone that is mine I would have a real purpose in the world and I wouldn't be so lonely.
Im I dumb????????[/qb]

YOU ARE BEING SO DUMB. You should NOT have a baby so you wont be lonely, and not only that you are only 14. I have my son when I was 19 years old and that was hard enough you can go out and do what you want. If you want to it will cost you more than you have and daycare lets not go there. Im 21 years old with 2 kids and even though I love my kids to death I wish I would have waited. I didnt even finish high school because I got pregant my senior year, you cant even being to think of how hard it is to get a job when they ask you if you finished high school and most place wont hire you if you didnt even though I have my ged I had to work 2 JOBS TO SUPPORT MY FAMILY. You to really sit down and think about this, the last you need to be thinking about is having babys. What you need to be think about is SCHOOL AND GETTING A GOOD EDUCATION AND GOING TO COLLEGE. So when you older and have a good job and everything else than you have kids. You will make a big mistake that you cant take back if you have a baby 14 you are still a baby yourself. YOU CANT RETURN A BABY FROM WHERE IT COME FROM ONCE ITS HERE, ITS HERE FOR LIFE.

quote:

Originally posted by Destinys mom:
[qb]The most selfish person in the world is a new born baby!!!!!!!!! It is all about them and what they need!!!!! So if you are looking for love and friendship and someone to share the good ol days with you are going down the wrong road!!!!! You would be so selfish to have a child, not only becuase of the child but because your parents, you know the ones you say do not like you, well they are the ones who will have to support the child not you!! Or our tax dollors!!! What happend to getting though high school going to collage getting a carerr and then startign our lives!!! I think that it is a god sin that you found this site, read ten or so of the post here then tell me you want a kid and you could do it all on your own!!!!![/qb]

I recently read your reply and I agree with your opinion but I was kind of offended when you rplyed that "the most selfish person in the world is a new born baby." You might of not directed to seem that way but you need to be careful with the way you say things. I'm a single young mother and your right about it being time consuming and hard but one thing I will never comment on is a baby being selfish because no matter the situation infants are a gift from God. God doesnt put babies on this earth intended to be selfish but only to be loved and joyful. I'm sorry you see things that way.

quote:

Originally posted by michellejoey21:
[qb]

I recently read your reply and I agree with your opinion but I was kind of offended when you rplyed that "the most selfish person in the world is a new born baby." You might of not directed to seem that way but you need to be careful with the way you say things. I'm a single young mother and your right about it being time consuming and hard but one thing I will never comment on is a baby being selfish because no matter the situation infants are a gift from God. God doesnt put babies on this earth intended to be selfish but only to be loved and joyful. I'm sorry you see things that way.[/qb]

You've proven my point many times over in your reply Michelle. Words on a screen can mean different things to different people reading them.

I read DestinysMom's reply and interpreted it totally different then yourself. What I read was "Babies are entitled to be selfish. They did not ask to be here and they require all of our love, attention, and good parenting. I honestly do not feel she wrote it on a bad note. I tell my 19 and 14 yr olds that they too have the right to be selfish right now, because having a child takes away their right to be selfish. The greatest gift I've given my children is MY UNSELFISHNESS and unconditionallove. I was a young mother, still am. I never once thought that having my daughter would replace/replenish anything I could of been lacking or not at the time I got pregant. MHO is that it is PROFOUNDLY ridiculous to THINK that having a child and perpetuating SINGLE PARENTHOOD is smart thinking, far from it. There's never been a case I've heard that a PERSON learned to love themselves and fight those ugly demons at such a young age because they became a single parent and that baby taught them love. Healing doesn't come choosing to be a single parent. And yes, I truly agree that babies are a gift from God, not healers." JMHO

I hope this clears it up for you. I would hope that if my children logged on here and read any of the post, that they'd take the good with the bad, but go away knowing that Mommy isn't just talking their ears off about SINGLE PARENTHOOD, but that it is factual and a very difficult journey.

Much love and respect to all.

quote:

Originally posted by All4Mine:
[qb]

You've proven my point many times over in your reply Michelle. Words on a screen can mean different things to different people reading them.
I read DestinysMom's reply and interpreted it totally different then yourself. What I read was "Babies are entitled to be selfish. They did not ask to be here and they require all of our love, attention, and good parenting. I honestly do not feel she wrote it on a bad note. I tell my 19 and 14 yr olds that they too have the right to be selfish right now, because having a child takes away their right to be selfish. The greatest gift I've given my children is MY UNSELFISHNESS and unconditionallove. I was a young mother, still am. I never once thought that having my daughter would replace/replenish anything I could of been lacking or not at the time I got pregant. MHO is that it is PROFOUNDLY ridiculous to THINK that having a child and perpetuating SINGLE PARENTHOOD is smart thinking, far from it. There's never been a case I've heard that a PERSON learned to love themselves and fight those ugly deamons at such a young age because they became a single parent and that baby taught them love. Healing doesn't come choosing to be a single parent. And yes, I truly agree that babies are a gift from God, not healers." JMHO

I hope this clears it up for you. I would hope that if my children logged on here and read any of the post, that they'd take the good with the bad, but go away knowing that Mommy isn't just talking their ears off about SINGLE PARENTHOOD, but that it factual and a very difficult journey.

Much love and respect to all.[/qb]

All4mine;
Good point and great remarks! You cleared it up pretty nicely. I read it wrong because in every reply you read about this article is pretty negative. Saying that shes being dumb and stupid isnt going to help her especially when shes needing love and support which she doesn't get at home.Shes seeking it in the wrong places!
Postive reforcement and positive advice will give her support and help her make a wise decision! Having a child right now at 14 is a big mistake at the moment because shes only a child herself. Shes not stupid or being stupid, shes just taking the wrong path, but a little support and advice will direct into the right path and have her enjoying her childhood!