I just want to say aswell stretch marks you don't want them there ugly they make you feel deformed and all your fav clothes for some reason never look the same I am back down to a size 8 but I have to be carefull my tummy never shows your hips move they never go back you will never look the same and after you give birth the pain down there is not worth it

I think most here would agree that having a baby to end loneliness is like setting yourself on fire because you don't want to feel cold. It is the worst reason, besides trying to save a relationship, to want a baby. Babies take far more than they give for a long time.

There's not much left to add. I think you can tell, the popular opinion is NO! Having a child @ the age of 14 because you are lonely is not only selfish, but kind of cruel. What do you have to offer a child?

Focus on loving yourself. If you are lonely, get out and do things. Don't expect a guy or a child to fix what's broken inside of you - it won't happen that way.

Good luck. Being a teenager is rough, no doubt - there are a million emotions going on .. but don't do anything you might regret for the rest of your life.

Are you serious? Okay, before I start going off on a tangent, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kelly (aka Kali) and I am a single, 22 year old mother of a 7 year old girl, which put me right at your age when I got pregnant. Now, I will NEVER say that having my daughter was a bad decision, but I have always said that if I could have the promise that I would have the exact same child, a few more years down the road, I would.

My story in short form... got pregnant, boyfriend left me and even started beating the crap out of me, missed homecoming game because I was on bedrest, missed junior AND senior prom, dropped out of school twice because I couldn't find anyone to watch my daughter (most daycare centers won't take kids who are under six months), got my GED, went to college, could NEVER find a boyfriend willing to put up with my "single parent" situation and now have to juggle work, PTA, motherhood, and what little social life I have.

Let me tell you... if I could just go out ONE night to a bar, get drunk as hell (like all the other college kids my age do) and not have to worry about being supermom in the morning, I think I'd pass out!

I know, you've hear all the horror stories before, but you better start believing most of them. If you think that having a child is going to fix your problems, you're wrong. My family adored me before I got pregnant... now most of them make nasty comments about me at family events. No matter how close your friends are to you... they will disappear slowly once you have to start declining invitations because you can't find a babysitter. OH! And don't think that your parents watching your child is a solution, either. I did and after about a year of fighting parenthood, I realized that my daughter didn't even know me. And that's something you will NEVER be able to fix.

So, have I been honest enough with you? Seriously, though, I know it's tough, and if you ever need anyone to talk to you, just let me know. I promise I won't preach anymore. *smiles*

My friend's younger sister just did this. Let me tell you, she's not in happy land, the Dad is older but still a boy through and through. IT is not fun, people aren't just "helping them" they have a child they need to care for, that means medically, emotionally, physically, AND FINANCIALLY!

Good luck to you if you are serious.... I think it is ridiculous. Spend a day in a homeless shelter or something, figure this out fast before you actually opt to go the pregnancy route and I pray for the child you have just to help you grow up and be happy... guess what, it won't work. Those are things you need to do LONG before you decide to get pregnant. I suggest going to buy a doll instead, they have baby borns now that actually eat and poop....

And don't forget the pain of childbirth.... it is a lot worse at 14 as you aren't as experienced in handling pain. Don't count on drugs, they can't always get those epidurals in on time and if your laboring slowly it only slows it down. Maybe you could visit a maternity ward and tell them you'd like to get pregnant and if you could see what a birth is like... you might change your mind then.

I am really trying to restrain myself on telling you things to scare you out of this for a good long time..... Please, tell your parents you want to do this? Tell a therapist, the school psychologist, a favorite teacher, anybody over 21 at your school that is employed there.

I also think if you actually posted this here, you must realize it is a bad idea and are looking for somebody to tell you NO!!!!

Oh my goodness I'm getting all worked up, did anybody notice this thread is almost 2yrs old... so either she listened or is busy chasing a toddler around right now!


PHEW I can breath again!

Hi hun look I don't mean to sound so rude but you are only 14 you shouldn't even be thinking about a child at your age. See I am 18 and I just gave birth 6 weeks ago to a beautiful little boy Kaden Lee and he is the best thing to happen to me, But I miss the old days when I could go out with friends and do whatever I wanted to. Now I have to take my son along with me or find a baby sitter and I am just to scared to leave him with any one even for just a few hours. You will be making a big mastake if you try to bring a child into this world when your just a child your self. see I used to feel the same way you do I used to think my family hated me but I never wanted to bring a child into this crazy messed up world at 14 and honestly when I found out I was pregnant I used to pray I would lose the baby but now I am glad I didn't cause I have the most wonderful thing in the world and thats my son. Please be smart and think about finishing school and growing up yourself before you try to take care a helpless newborn. you have to be at their every beckon call you can't just push them off on somebody not even your parents that will be you child not theirs

hey, i just wanted to let u know i was in the exact same position as you, but i am 18 years old and a freshman in college. my family and i dont get along, we never have. my boyfriend of nine months and pretty much my only friend broke up in november. i wanted to b with him so bad that i convinced him to try and have a baby with me n decmeber. after that we had a horrible falling out and then i found out i am pregnant. now i am 9 weeks along and i am n the same position as when i started. my family wants nothing to do with me, my ex wants nothing to do with me, and i have to move out of my sorority house, so i am now homeless. i am trying to find a shelter or something to live in. but anyways, a baby doesnt fix it, its only made it worse. now i have to drop outa college and try to work and find a place to stay, all by myself. i have no insurance either, so all the bills r mine to pay. i dont really have any solutions for u, cuz i am still going thru this myslef, but if u want to talk i am here for you.

R U HIGH... on drugs.... what what is wrong with you?? Oh wait I know exactly what it is.... you want attention and before you say I am being mean hear me out....
Ok you have no friends boyfrind dumped you and you think no one in your family loves you.....
Do you have a job that pays over minium wage?? How do you plan on supporting this child? welfare?
But wait you'll get what you want right someone who needs you.... attention of ex boyfriend and now your family will just love you and your older cousins will think your so mature now because you have a child they will want to hang out with you....
If you havent noticed I am being samrt talk to a teacher or someone at your school you can trust...
GOOD LUCK TO U!

Did you ever get pregnant, if you didn't listen to my story and you amy think twice about it. I am 17 and 5 months pragnant with my third child. I reccommend that you don't get pregnant. Being a teen parent is the hardest thing to do. I had my first child at fifteen and my second child at sixteen. None of this was planned, it just happened. Don't get pregnant at fourteen, you have so much ahead of you. I love my two babies to death, but I wish I would have waited. I am taking GED classes, working 10 hours a day, five days a week, and raising two children on my own. My parents help when I need it, but I don't like to let them help too much because the way I see is that I took the time out to have them, so it is my responsibility to raise them and care for them.

You're only 14, and I can understand how lonely you are. But think about it! A baby will take up most of your time, and do you know how much pain you go through? If you're lonely consider getting a pet! Babies are more than they sound, and don't think that its father will stick by you too, because I have a 9 year old and her father practically hates her.