i am 19 and 26 weeks pregnant. a little while ago my now ex said that he wanted to be in our daughters life but could not be with me. i thought and sometimes still think that i wont be able to do this on my own and i feel so lonely. i haven't even started buying baby items, i have cloths that have been given to me but have yet to buy things myself. i am so scared that i will mess this up on my own and find that i trick myself into thinking that it isn't going to happen. i think i am afraid that if i buy things for her and i mess it up, i wont be able to take it. i don't know what to do, please help.

Dear Amber, welcome to our site and I hope that you stay, we are here for you and will offer all the support that we can.

I know where you are. I was pregnant with my first daughter at age 19 and fealt very scared and alone. While the father and I were together we were apart in so many ways. He was always gone on drug runs or god only knows what else. It was a very scary time in my life as it is yours now. Things have a way of working themselves out and before you know it you will be 34 and the baby 13 and you will be pulling your hair out (jk about the pulling your hair out part). But the time will fly. You will go thru countless up's and down's but you will pull through it. You are very young and you WILL find someone, you will not always be alone, just choose wisely who you bring into your live's.

Do you have any family or friends to help you through?

First of all

It is natural to be scared because you are experiencing this for the first time and you will have a tough road to travel but remember you will not be the first and there are many single parents out there on every age group that are experiencing the same feelings you are, read up and you will see. I am sure that you will get some replies from them soon.

When I had my first child, I was scared. I haven't even been around babies to even know how to use a bottle or baby wipes. I even put the diaper on him backwards because I thought the poofy side should be infront since he was a boy. Thank goodness a good friend told me the tape belonged in the front and not the back.

I really believe all parents mess up one time or another, so that kinda goes with the territory. Like Oprah says, "when you know better you'll do better."

When I thought I had it right and I had my 2nd one, I was surprised, I had to learn different things because the same tricks didn't work. They were as different as apples and oranges.

You can always ask a parenting question on here and I'm sure you'll get a lot of different suggestions to try. That's the fun part of being a parent I think, learning and growing together.

thank you all for your support. i have a question; i want to start getting stuff this paycheck, the crib, stroller, things like that, but im not sure where the best place to buy them would be, new or used? oh and yea, i have friends, no family right now because im originally from texas but most of my friends have way different schedules than me, i work three days then im off three days, so since they work the traditional 5 days a week, we see eachother when we can. my god mother is going to be here when i have her and my best friend here is going to move in with me for the last month, so i'm not alone if god forbid i go into early labor.

Sounds like you have a GREAT support system already in place Even if they are not there all the time i am sure that they would not mind you calling if you needed.

As for furniture, buy used! There are so many second hand stores out that have GREAT deals on items that are barely used, you can always fix them up to look like new. Don't forget to start stocking up on diapers, they will go so fast when your little one gets here.

I would buy used. If you shop around and even check yard sales, you'll find great deals and sometimes, they aren't even used. A friend of mine runs a 2nd hand shop and I could not imagine before of all the things that get brought in new or hardly used condition

Look for tags and original packaging

Look at the age of the furniture. Some people only use the crib for 8 months. Stay away for furniture or toys if it looks more than 2 years old. They may have had a recall on them and they are hard to clean.

Don't pay close to retail for used stuff. The most I would pay is 1/3. 1/2 if its brand new at a 2nd hand shop or yard sale.

It doesn't hurt to just look so you can get an idea what things go for. Have fun.

used is the way to go.

Call the local United way,Salvation army, goodwill, churches, see if they have anything that has been donated that they could let you have. You could offer a small donation to their group in exchange.
ALso ask churches if they could put a little note in the newsletter asking if members have any of the furniture, strollers etc. that they know longer need. I know I had stuff for years, kicking about just waiting for someone to give it too.
You might be amazed at what you can get just by asking.

Just came across ur post. Ok TOTALLY normal to have self doubt about being able to handle this whole deal. I was 19yrs and on my own for everything and again on my own at 28yrs and had the same self doubts as well. Now I have a ten yr boy and a 1.5yr girl and with a small amount of thearpy I feel very strongly we will all be ok.

But seriously don't worry about doing it right. It will come to you naturally. As for buying clothes...heres an awesome theroy I went by and still do...."my kids have the best second, third, fourth hand brand name clothes money can buy!". I very rarly buy new clothes for my toddler only b/c she is always growing. My son gets new clothes for school but thats about it. They are just fine.

Start letting ur fears go away and start enjoying this baby thats coming. You have to write ur own user manual the first time around but just think you'll have it for reference if you have another one. I refere to mine all the time LOL.

You'll do great and wish you the best of luck

HUGS

SPIRIT

hi amber. my name is angie and i'm the mother of 3. i got pregnant the first time at 15 and the guy swore he wasn't the father. all i can say is you can't mess up because your all the baby has, use your family support and friends.as far as stuff for the baby, have a baby shower to start with, it will really lift your spirits.