I got pregnant a couple months before i turned 14.. the dad was my first real boyfriend and i thought i was in love. Anyways.. I found out when I was a couple weeks pregnant. I told my boyfriend and we both wanted to keep the baby. About a month later... i was questioning whether or not that was the best decision.. I was depressed.. i had massive stomach pain, and i was worried about EVERYTHING!I would ask myself questions like.. where am i going to live?, will i get married?, what will my parents think of me?, what will they say?, how will I tell them?... the questions went on.. There were times when I would want to die, and when I would wish to miscarry. I knew my mom was coming on to the fact that I was pregnant since I would always be tired, and i blacked out once. When I was about 3 months.. I told the only friend of mine that knew about my pregnancy that I was going to get an abortion because I couldnt imagine my life with a child right now. But i was curious about abortions.. at first i didnt think too much into it.. i just thought it was a quick fix.. but i researched it.. and i was DISGUSTED!! So, from then on I decided i would never get an abortion. When I was around 4 months pregnant my boyfriend starting ignoreing me.. I would call and call him and he would hardly answer my phone calls. He just didnt seem interested in me anymore. And i was devestated!! I would cry and cry and cry. There I was alone and pregnant with NOONE to talk to! I was in soo much pain.. i couldnt even sleep at night.. id just cry. I seriously thought about ending my life. When my boyfriend and I would talk, we would just fight, but he said he still wanted to be with me and that i should abort and we could just have kids when we were older. I was so angry!
My parents discovered my pregnancy when I was 5 months. My whole family wouldnt talk to me and when they would, they would just yell at me to abort.. i went through hell!
My mom and stepdad would tell me how I would not be a good mother, my grandmother told me that she hoped my child would hate me, my boyfriend was hardly speaking to me, and my sister said if i kept my baby that she wouldnt help me. I was extremely depressed! But i wanted this child so bad! We had already formed such a great bond! But then there was one night when I couldnt take it anymore and I called my dad.. I told him in tears that I would get an abortion because I couldnt take it anymore and I couldnt see myself with a child. Then, God spoke through my dad, he said "Morgan I know this isnt what u want to do... dont let your mother make this decision for you." I felt better knowing that someone was on my side for once!
My mother had actually scheduled an appointment for me at Planned Parenthood for "counseling".. but i knew it was for an abortion so I refused to go. THANK THE LORD!
My mother ended up kicking me out of the house since i wouldnt abort, so I moved into a wonderful maternity home. Most people think.. eww a maternity home? But i loved it!! It was like a sorority! I lived with many girls in my same situation.. some younger some older. And I helped them take care of their children which prepared me for my child. There was so much support there! I loved it!! Eventually each of my family members apoligized to me, and my mother, who was so insistant on me aborting, was the most excited for the birth of my child. Paige Mackenzie was born on December 9, 2002. One of the most happiest days of my life!! When she was born, she came out screaming! They brought her to me and I saw her face for the first time.. she was BEAUTIFUL! I stroked her sweet little cheek and she immediately stopped crying. As if she knew I was her mother and found comfort in me. The bond between me and Paige is so incrediable! In part because of how much we had to go through to get her to be here today.
I stayed with my boyfriend.. even though we always fought. But, he was a great dad! I moved out of the maternity home and in with my dad.
I got pregnant again when my daughter was 9 months. Again I panicked. How could I be so stupid? How could I tell my parents that Im pregnant again? So, I again kept it a secret. My boyfriend wanted me to abort saying "how can i take care of two kids?" as his reasoning. And i couldnt stand him for that. How could he be so glad that I didnt abort Paige yet he wants me to abort now? It didnt make sense to me. So again I was all alone. Abortion was not an option at all. But i did consider adoption, i even met with an adoption agency,but after prayer I knew that wasnt the best thing for me. My parents were angry BUT never even mentioned abortion. Since Paige was born, my mother actually has went from prochoice to prolife.
I broke up with my boyfriend when I was 5 months pregnant and came to God. My second daughter, Paris Nicolette, was born on June 25 2004. And surprisingly, my ex formed such a strong bond with her at the hospital.. he would never want to stop holding her, he was always kissing her.. it was great!
Currently, my girls father and I are not together, but we remain friends. He is very active in our kids lives.. we sees them on weekends, and picks them up from school every day. I work and I am in college. I'm still pursueing my dreams and following Gods plans for me. My daughters are now 15 months, and 2 (almost 3!). I'm loving motherhood. I occasionly talk to my friends from before I ever had kids, and all they care about is ***, gossip, drinking, parties.. and it makes me so thankful that im not in that lifestyle. I look at it like my daughters saved me from being involved in that kind of thing. My life is in no way ruined. My daughters are so precious to me,sometimes I look at them and think.. look what I would of ruined if I had aborted. and it brings tears to my eyes.
There was a time when my second daughter was about 3 months old that I was depressed because I really felt that i had no choice but to continue my relationship with their dad just because we had kids together. But I didnt even have feelings for him any longer... and then Id think.. well no guy would ever want to be with me since i have kids, so its either i be with their dad or i be with noone forever.. so that depressed me. When I was going through this I posted it on this site to let my frustrations out. But luckily God helped me to see the truth. You see... when I was pregnant with Paris I was saved... after that my feelings for my now ex started diminishing more and more. I guess that was a sign from God telling me that he isnt the one for me. Then I had no feelings for him at all... thats when I thought i HAD to be with him cos noone else would ever want to be with me. After that, God showed me otherwise. I broke up with my girls father because God showed me that I NEED to be single and that it doesnt even matter when or if I will met my "soulmate". I truly dont care to be with any guy right now.. but if God sends me "the one" now i wouldnt complain =). But right now I see it as time for me to spend with my daughters and to grow closer to Jesus. God has always pulled me out of every hard situation and has made each and every situation of mine BETTER THAN IT WAS BEFORE.
So.. yeah.. thats my story.. lol so sorry for going on and on and on.

That is a GREAT story! Thank you so much for sharing it. It's so hard to comprehend why someone would want to KILL their baby or their grandbaby! Don't they remember what it was like to hold their first-born (or fifth-born!) in their arms for the first time?? It's absolutely the most amazing feeling in the entire world, and it still brings tears to my eyes to this day thinking about it.

And I completely admire your view on finding a "soulmate", as I have also chosen to take on that view. Our children need so much from us that only we can give them. And it really takes a lot of work to develop a good relationship. I feel my time and energy is better spent on my daughter than on a complete stranger.

The story was great! A girl at such a young age keeping both baby's. I got pregnate w/my son when I was 19yrs and knew abortion was not for me. Dad left us both b4 my son was born. I am now pregnate again at 28yrs and due in December. The dad is someone different and has left the baby,my son and me. Once again aboriton was not a choice for me. Like you I don't really care. I know in my heart that I don't want him back. Just to many things to deal with if I ever took him back. The fact that he is 33yrs and walks on his last baby is another reason for me to hate him too.

I also feel that everything happens for a reason and I feel that my two kids saved me when I needed it the most. My son saved me from going down the drugs, drinking ect path when I was 19yrs. This baby made me realize that I dont need a man in my life and I need to just foucs on rasing my kids.

Someday I know I will meet the right guy that will be good to my kids and me. Untill then I have my kids to raise and worry about.

SPIRIT

Thanks alex and spirit!! All three of us seem to have the same views on dating.. that we should all just need to be concentrating on our children right now. I read a book called "Choosing Gods Best" which is a book on finding a relationship GODS way.. i highly recommend it.. it changed the way I look at things completely.

Spirit.. you said that your children "saved" you, I also believe that for myself... there is a verse in the bible that says "..saved by motherhood." I think thats true for many of us.

hey, firstly I just wanted to say WOW you're great, I think one thing we have a lot in commin. I dont know if you read my story (Proud teen mother) but our children are almost the same age, my boy was born on 27 December 2002, just a few days difference.

Anyway I know the problem of abortion for you is something of the past, but I want to tell you something that made me understand the way "our mothers" think...

My mom also made an appointment for me at the abortion clinic 2 days after I found out I was pregnant, I also refused from the beginning and because I knew exactly how discusting and mean it is....Although my mom didn't through me out, you ignored me for a while....

My mom now loves my boy to death.....she even tells me she loves him more than she loved her own children....!!!!!Can you believe that....

The other day she drove past the abortion clinic, as she arrived hom eshe was crying, I asked her why and she told me that if she knew the joy and love my child is bringing into everybodies lives around him she wopuld never have insisted on anm abortion....

She then also told me that, at that stage she thought it was the best, she was scared about me losing all my freedom...you know going out....partying, enjoying my young teenage life...

I know it doesnt make it right, but `we should understand, its also just a mother protecting her child.....

Luckely God pushed me and my mom in the right direction and gave us the energy to cope, cause you know how busy these rug rats of us can get hey =) !!!!!

Enjoy your day hey!!!

Shizelle

yes i agree with u.. but just think that if both of us would have gone to those clinics we wouldnt have our beautiful children... thats why its sooo important that people should never react on their first emotions. When mothers first hear their daughter is pregnant, their first reaction is "what can i do to make my daughters life back to normal?"... but the truth is that usually after abortions, womans lives do not go back to normal.. and i think that mothers realize that after giving themselves time and space to think about their daughters pregnancy. So... reacting on our first thoughts and emotions are never good (a mother scheduleing an abortion for her daughter a day or even a few weeks after discovering her pregnancy).

Anyways... we have a lot in common... like u said, our daughters are close in age, and our mothers reacted to our pregnancies, and our children almost the same exact way! At first my mother wanted me to abort, then she was excited about the birth, and now she loves my girls soooo much! All she does is talk about them to anyone who will listen (typical grandparent lol).. and she always wants to spend time with them and spoil them. Kinda weird... i would have never guessed that she would have ended up this way with my kids... but im very thankful she is!

-Morgan