I'am knew to this whole thing so please bare with me. I'am 19 years old, and just found out that I'am pregnant. The father, I think has mixed feelings about me being pregnant.He is happy but scared. We have been on and off for the past few months.
Also I have not told my parents yet. Coming from a strong Italian family, I know my family is not going to be happy about me being pregnant. Is there anything that I can do to soften the blow? Any advise about the father and how I can deal with all of this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

I think that the best thing is to be straight forward and honest with your family. Sit down with them and explain that you are feeling very scared and that you need their support. They may be mad at first, but if they are anything like my family was, they will come around. Once they know that there is nothing the can do to change the situation they will probably begin to look out for your and you child's best intrest. I think that sometime we think in our heads the worst possible and 9 times out of 10 it doesn't happen that way. Just try not to be judgemental, because if they do flip out they are probably just reacting to the heat of the moment and I almost guarntee it will get better. And if for some reason it doesn't, there are a lot of support systems out there. Good Luck and let me know if you need anything. JG

Dealing with the dad is a tough situation. It is almost impossible to say what he is going to do over the next few months/years, or how he is going to react to any of this. Being scared and pregnant is one thing, when the child is actually there and you are caring for him/her is a whole different story.

No one can force him to do anything he doesent want to do, even if that means not being in the life of the child. That is a path he is going to choose on his own. All you can really do is be honest with him, and no matter how crappy things get always take the moral high ground and do what is best for the child.

I am not trying to say he wont be a great father and involved in the life of his child and yours, but as many people will tell you, this is not the majority

Stay strong, be honest with everyone and do what it best for the child at all times the rest will work out

chuck

I was like you only I got pregnant when i was 18 years old. At first it was hard to tell anyone. My ex supported me the first 3 months, but when i finally told my parents, i didn't even received a call from him. I went trew a lot with this situation. after i had my baby girl he was there. until now, we recently broke up. But you know what after you tell your parents the truth, they'll be there for you no matter what. Sure, it is going to take some time for them to react, but at the end it is all worth it. Because believe me you are going to need a lot of support. About your boyfriend, well tell him to take some time off and think what he wants. That way he can put thinks straight with you.

I got pregnant at seventeen and my worst mistake was not telling my mom for six months. (I didn't show until six months so I got away with it) My mom was the one who was there for me through it all! Definately tell your parents, but there is no easy way to do it. May be tell your mom first and then she can be with you when you tell your dad. Have her there for support. About the dad....who knows. You need to let him come to any decisions on his own. It's hard I know. My now ex boyfriend was wishy washy too. At first he said we'd get through it together, that was the first day, then he wanted me to get an abortion, that was for the next six months, and then it was too late to do so. I didn't want to so I made it work out that way but we won't tell him that! =) Anyway, at first the father stayed around because he was "obligated" to do so. I hated that. I know it's hard, but if the dad doesn't want to be involved say hey I wish you would be but if that's what you want then oh well I guess. But if he does then GREAT!!! Just make sure he knows its 100% or nothing. I hope all goes well and best of luck! I'm here if you need to talk!
Melissa

Hey darl im 16 and im pregnant...and my mothers a pastor of a big church, so it was really hard to tell my parents..and believe me its better to be honest then hold off it hurts them more.they will be disaponted but they will get over it, ur their daughter and they love you dearly.. it will all work out in the end hope all goes well

I got pregnant with my oldest son at age 15, got pregnant with my youngest son at 17, and just had a daughter 8 months ago, and I'm 20 years old. My mother put me out and basically disowned me. It's going to be hard telling your parents something as important as that, because they know there are going to be a lot of changes not only in your life but as well as there's. A child is a gift from God, and hopefully they'll realize that. Try and stress to them that you know it's going to be hard, but this is something that no one can do anything about, the baby's basically here! They're going to be a lot of people who are against you having that baby as well as supporters! This is your life, you baby and your blessings! All I can say is be prepared for the worst!

I know exactly what your going threw! I'm from an old fashioned Italian family too. And believe me telling my parents was a tough thing to do, especially because the father isn't Italian. I can't keep anything from my mom. I'm very close with her so I told her right away. She was shocked! She didn't say anything for a couple minutes, but she excepted it. My father was a different story. I waited as long as I could to tell him. My aunt ended up tell him before I got the guts to do it. When he found out he called me (I live in AZ and my family is in NY) any yelled for about two hours. He says that he wouldn't have been so mad if I just came out and told him myself. So my advise to you is just tell them. They may be disappointed but this is something your going to have to deal with regardless of how and when you tell them. There really isn't anything I can tell you that will "soften the blow." So just take a deep breath and let it out.