Well, I'm 18 and my ex boyfriend is 21. We were dating for a little awhile and on june 19th I found out I was pregnant. Everything seemed fine and then we started to fight more and more. I tried my best to keep us together, but he was ready to just give up. He said he realized that he doesn't really love me anymore.

So, now I'm not only pregnant, but I'm single too. I really don't know how to handle this. I'm heartbroken. He still wants to be there and be friends. It's selfish, but I really don't want him to be there. I know it's for the best of the child and everything, but I can't help how I'm feeling right now. I'm scared, helpless, and heartbroken.

Does it really get any better? because i can't stop crying and feeling depressed

First of all, welcome to the site. Secondly, you aren't helpless or you wouldn't be here. I know how scary it is to find out that you're pregnant and are going to have to do it all alone. Let me tell you, while our stories are a little different since I didn't want anything to do w/my son's father even just before I found out I was pregnant, I would have given anything for his friendship and for him to have been there for his child from the start admitting that it was his kid. I was 18 when I got pregnant, ironically conceiving on the day you found out, and went to the doctor for absolute confirmation on my 19th birthday after 2 home tests showed positive.

Now that you are here, you can see that you aren't alone in this. There are hundreds of us, even thousands of us out there doing this everyday. You can do it and you just need to have faith in yourself. It is going to be a decision you have to make to not allow this to get you down and to move forward w/what you have to do. I know it isn't easy, but now you have a place to vent and cry and ask for advice and find an inner peace w/what you're going through. I wish you luck and hope that you stick around here. I think it could help you as much as it has me.

I was there at your age. It makes it hard. My son's father did not want to be there. I was lucky I could get over him eaiser. I can give you hope though. It does get eaiser with the x and raising the baby. My x I can now look in the face and know I have forgiven him as a person. I still can not forgive what he did to my son and myself. That may come and it may never come.

Right now I'm pregnate again and the man walked out on me. I'm 27yrs and he is 32yrs. I once again have the advantage of atleast not having him in my face but it's still hard. He does live locally and I hear things about him and his new girls.

I hope the best for you and your new baby. This the right site to be on for help and support.

SPIRIT

Sigh,
I understand how you feel. I was there at 18. I left my boyfriend when I was 6 months pregnant. I know he didn't abandon me but it kind of felt the same. He pretty much did though he didn't leave me. I lived with him. He lied to me, cheated on me, and was really mean. I was totally in love with my boyfriend. My son, Luke, was the best thing that ever happend to me though and I wouldn't change a thing. Jeremy has never met his son and I hope he never does. It would not be good for my son. It will eventually feel better.
Good luck.
~Jen

I'm 19 and my now ex is 20 i'm pregnant and am single now too so I do under stand somewhat. Mine wanted to be there but kept treating me like I was worthless. Its better to be alone and find some one who will really love you then to stay and be misrable for the rest of your live. And it would also put your baby through hell. It will at some piont get better even though it doesn't feel like it and remeber the rest of us at this site are with you to help.

I have found now that it is better to be alone than with someone that makes you feel like you are alone even when they are there. It is better for you and a lot better for your baby. Your baby doesn't need a hostile environment to grow up with. My son will not meet his father probably at all but if he does it will not be until he is older and can understand. His father is creul and does not understand how to be there for someone. He lied all the time and cheated on me and I don't want my son around that kind of person.

Sorry if that came across harsh. I didn't mean it that way...can you tell I am a little bitter?

Good luck in all that you do. You sound like you will make a great mom.
~Jen

quote:

I have found now that it is better to be alone than with someone that makes you feel like you are alone even when they are there.

AMEN!! It took me a long time to figure that out.

It is my belief, a mother has an obligation to allow the father to be a part of his child's life. It's not about you, it's about the child. It takes time, but you will have to separate how you feel about the father from what's best for the child.

Good luck!

i hate my baby father for the way he is treatin me and carrien on like his hild is nothing.
i think that you are lucky for him to want to b there for u and ur child, even though he has hurt you and u feel betrayed and lonely in time that will go, u never no he might even realise that u have eveything to offer that he cud possibley ask 4, and iof he doest then its his loss.

Gem Gem,
I think you definitly should allow your ex to see the baby.. its good for the child. I kinda know how u feel..right now i would personally rather not let my ex see my daughters.. but i know its best for them for their daddy to be in their lives. I see it like this.. if the man doesnt want to be in the kids lives.. then i would be i would think thats fine.. i wouldnt fight it, but if he does want to be in the childs live than u should most definitly let him. My ex has been seeing less and less of my kids lately... and when he does see them, he tells me that they just say that they want to come back to mommys house. I dont know if thats true or if hes making up excuses for not wanting to be with them as much.. either way.. i will allow him to be in their lives.. he is the only one who can decide if he doesnt want to see them anymore. Maybe in the future my ex wont want to see my children anymore...(seems like hes drifting from them now). BUT thats his decision.. and u should definitly try to be friends and give him a chance to be a daddy if hes willing because thats whats best for ure child.. and right now all that matters is whats in ure childs best interest.