angelinthesky

I finally gather my thoughts about your post and deiced I should post now. I understand the anger you feel toward your X. I've tired so hard up unitl August to getmy X to want to be w/me and care about our baby that is due in December. I finally realized that I can't make him love me or our baby.

I've planned on doing the baby thing again on my own and have started buying stuff for my new baby. I know my son is excited about his new bro or sis that is coming. I can't wait either.

To be honest there will always be hope for him to come around and love all of us and want to be a family. It's just one of those sercerts that I try not to let out to often.

Will he come around? I don't know only time and the birth of our baby wil tell. Some days it seems I created this baby on my own b/c he is so not there for anything.

I hope that things work out for you thou. It's very hard to let that light of hope fade out altogether.

Good luck on your coming baby.

SPIRIT

im really tired of living im really starting to think that the world would be better if i wasnt here. my babys father and my friends wont talk to me and all i do is sit around bymyself i just dont want to live anymore

I'm not going to lecture you how how precious life is but things can get better if you believe they will. I was barely 20 when I found out I was pregnant and completely alone except for family. I had all the same thoughts you did. I was not even sure if I should keep the baby. I thank God every day I did. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like if I didn't.

If you are truly considering taking your life please talk to someone about it. I found there were often times when I thought things were hopeless and I had no idea how I would get through stuff then I would find someone who could give me the inspiration to take the next step. Everyone has the strength to deal with what life gives them if they choose to tap into it.

I had to teach myself to really live and appreciate the now and not dwell on the future. I use to worry so much about all the bad things that could happen that I ignored the good. I started by trying to find one thing everyday that made it worthwhile getting up in the morning. Sometimes it was just finding a crumpled up dollar in the bottom of my pocket that I didn't know I had. That still puts me in a good mood for the day. Quickly you begin to find more and more things until eventually you really learn to love to live. Everyday can be a new begining and adventure. Life is by no means an easy one for me. Everyday has it's struggles but now I look forward to them. For each hardship you over ome brings you strength you never knew you had. Somedays I think I'm the strongest person in the world and can do anything, other days I don't think I have the strength to do the dishes but I know that the next day could be the day that I do.

As for your boyfriend, he is young and immature. Most guys that age are. Men are not expected to grow up and take responsibilty like they were a few decades ago. It takes them much longer now to grow up, they seem to fight it all the way. Nothing you say or do will change that, he has to be the one to do it. I wouldn't completely give up all hope that he may not come around and want to become a dad, but I can almost garruntee that it won't be in time to really help you. You have to find the strength to do this on your own with your family and others including us. Once you've done that you will be more than ready to deal with him if that day comes that he wants to be a part of your lives. You will have that strength of knowing you can do it without him if necessary.

Is your little life that important in the world, that it would miss you if you weren't here? Who knows, but that is the point of life. No one ever knows what their life will mean to others, but if you choose to leave it now you will never know. I didn't mean to make this so long-winded, maybe it's Katrina or because tomorrow is 9/11, but I just feel every life is important. These times makes hero's of people of all walks of life. Many of the people who helped in the aftermath of these catastropihes I'm sure didn't wake up feeling before as though they made a difference in the world but they soon did. Everyone is born for a reason and a purpose and I think you deserve to find out what that reason is.

Suicide:

A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

This too shall pass.

Don't do it girl; come here and talk instead; lot's of good people here I've found in the last little while.

i mean the babys daddy and me were supposed to go get a part for my car from his friend and he said he would call him and call me back so i waited a while and then headed to the atm machiene and when i passed his house one of his friends were there and i finally got him to answer the phone and he said him and his friend were going out to get something and he would call me but i have a feeling that he is out doing coke. i dunno i want to trust him but i dunno

I'm soooo glad you came back on I was thinking about you all day! Don't scare me like that this old gal can't take it! Do you have anyone in your family that can help with your car so you don't have to involve him? I wish you didn't live so far away I got machanics all around me.

he finally answered the phone and he was at that guys house and now they are going to the club. god i hate him. im sitting here at home and i cant eat and feel like im gonna puke everywhere and hes out clubbing

The sickness and fatigue will pass, then things are good for a bit until near the end then it gets a bit uncomfortable again. I know how hard it is to see him doing this. That's why it would probably be better for you to try and pull away from him for awhile. Are you still going to school? I would try if you can to at least get out and do something so your not dwelling on the situation. When I was going through it I had three jobs to pay the rent and that sure kept my mind off of things. I was too tired to feel bad. I was also able to make a lot of my own friends and got a better support system for myself. Right now things are looking their worst, but they do get better.

its just the daddy grew up without a father and i dont want my kid to grow up without one

Ok here I go again. I've tried sending you a pm I've replied to this post twice and my computer keeps locking up on me and I lose everything I've typed. I'm getting soooooo frustrated with it. So If I seem a bit to the point I'm sorry.

You sound like you are falling into the delusion of many others that if you beg plead or nag your BF he will see the light and become the responsible dad you want. Most cases though you just end up angering and alienating him. He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and you have to face up to the fact that more than likely your on your own for now anyway. Many of them do come around especially after the baby is born, and things work out well but you cannot count on it. My other posts were worded much more delicately but now I'm pissed at my computer so your getting more of the "tough love" version.

He may change, but that will take time that you don't need to waste on him right now. Right now I'm concerned about your state of mind. I cannot help you with what you really need from across the internet. You really need to speak to a professional family planning counselor. They can help show you what your options are and put you in support groups with other young women who are in the same situation as you. Believe me there are many of them. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was four months along and that really limited my options and ability to prepare myself for what laid ahead. You are right at the begining of this and there are many, many doors open to you if your choose to look for them. Please call a center many of them have 24 hour hotlines and people who are trained in the area where you live will know what direction you should go in forn the help you need. Pregnancy also messes with your homones making you extremely moody and depressed. You'll want to do rash things and then the next minute your thanking God you didn't go through with it. Read the other posts on here there are dozens of us raising children without dads. No, it isn't ideal but it can be done and the children are very well adjusted and happy as long as they know you love and want them.

Just don't ever ever ever feel you are alone the number of members on this site should tell you that. I don't like abortion, but my sister had one and at the itme it was the right decision for her. I choose not to have one and I know I made the right decision. there are also hundreds of people looking to adopt as well. The options are out there. Either way it is not worth losing your life over.

There are thousands of people who have died this week who did not ask for it, please do not think so little of your life. There is so much in this world that is good and you have your entire life to look torwards. This trouble now is fleeting and will pass before you know it whatever your decision is.

Listen to the ladies here, Angel; some of them have been through mill and come out the other side okay. You can, too. It was about a million years ago, but I can remember when I was a kid there were dads in the neighborhood who used beat the living crap out of wives and/or kids; never did understand that. In retrospect I think in part it was because they just never grew up enough to be dads, shoulder the responsibilty, and all that. Better no Dad on board then a bad one.

angelinthesky~

Sometimes we have all felt like there is no way things can get better. They do. Then they get bad again, and then they get better.

I think you should really seek councelling (not sure if I spelled that right) ... talk to someone who can help you learn how to pull yourself out of this depression.

I suspect you are a wonderful girl with everything to live for, and yer letting one guy make your life miserable. Only you have the power to persevere.

well i guess i am feeling a little better today. me and my mom are planning on going to do a memory walk for 9-11 today and then (my mom works at ft. lee) they are having a military Idol thing so we might go to that. so i hope everyone has a good day

angelinthesky~

There ya go - keep busy and spend time with those who love you! It does help to look at those who are much less fortunant - when we are feeling sorry for ourselves and our situations. It's the human condition, but you can move past it.

Have a wonderful day as well!