I just started reading through your posts, angelinthesky, and please listen to what everyone is saying here! Keep busy, focus on your pregnancy, seek some counseling on the side (YOU ARE WORTH IT AND SO IS YOUR CHILD!!), and visit here often for moral support.

Remember, some "leopards" never change their spots - some do, but right now you need to take care of yourself and your little one on the way. Do NOT depend on him, don't count on him, seek your family and friends for the moral support you need.

For the record, my ex-husband is still acting like your ex-boyfriend...and he's 47!

Hang in there, you have just made some new friends here to help you through it!

Hi, I just read your situation, and it sounds almost exactly like me!!! I sympathize with you. I found out I was pregnant in April 2004, two months before I graduated and I was 18. I was so scared b/c my bf at the time was emotionally abusive and had NO responsibility(no JOB) or morals at all. And like your bf he slept all the time andw as/is on drugs (he had been addicted to oxy-contins and then moved up to heroin). From the moment I found out I was pregnant I turned my life around and severed ties with anyone that would be harmful to my unborn son.(especially him) My biggest mistake was ever telling my sons father I was pregnant. The night I did, he went off on some drug rampage and I was left home by myself for a day and a half. I have had nothing but stress during my whole pregnancy which caused my to deliver early. He was at the hospital when my son was born, another huge mistake, he wouldn't sign the birth certificate b/c I wouldnt allow the baby to have his last name until he could grow up and act like a father,he caused nothing but trouble and security told him he wasn't allowed back at the hospital.I don't know why I ever went out with him in the first place but if I didn't I would never of had my beautiful precious son. He hasnt seen my son since he was a week and a half and I KNOW it is better like that. My son is now 11 months old and I know I am doing the best I can and I always will for him. I wish you ALL the hope and courage in the world to stay away from someone like your bf. Anyone that is mixed in drugs is danagerous to be around, not just for you but also for your unborn child. If you decide to tell him and he is in the hospital during delivery, I would advice not give the baby his last name until be proves to be a parent, you can always go and change the last name later(only $10.) Please talk to me if you need! Remember you have to do what is best for your child!!

i have decided that i am going to call him when he gets off work today and tell him that i am going to leave him alone and if he decides that he wants to straighten up and be a parent then he can call me and we can talk.
Some good news (sorta) i have a job interview today at Build A Bear. im excited but nervous. i love that place.

First, CONGRATULATIONS on your interview! My daughters Brownie Troop went there in June and had so much fun!

Secondly, my suggestion regarding calling...I STRONGLY suggest you DON'T - reason being, that is just giving him the opportunity to "sweet talk" you at this time, and then who knows what will happen later? His actions show (so far) that he is going to try and keep you hanging on a string until it is convenient for HIM.

You are already taking the steps to get on with your life, and take it from one who has been in situation with an ex who refuses to grow up and be responsible for his children (and his actions of being a child continue to this day), if it is meant to be, it will - but right now, you need to take care of yourself, and your baby.

Stay strong and keep coming back here!

i dont think he will sweet talk me. most likely he will just say "whatever" and hang up like he almost always does. I think i would feel better if i atleast let him know what the deal is. But i am going to be smart and wait until after the interview so that i dont risk him makeing me upset. and another question. do i have to tell my jobs that im pregnant

angelinthesky, while it is your decision, I wouldn't put yourself through the stress...you pretty much know what his answer will be, so leave it at that (just my STRONG suggestion!).

As for your pregnancy, I would not mention it at this time, especially since you are still in the early stages - while legally,no one can discriminate, we all know that there are people that do. As long as you are able to do the job at this time, that is all that matters.

My personal motto is that one will cross that bridge when they get to it!

Have to run to work myself now, so I will check in with you later!

angel, remember even if hes not in your life he is still responsible for that baby, most of us have gone through or are going through the same thing as we speak. I dont want to be a hypocrit and tell you what to do or not do, becasue I am 34 and in the same boat, i wanted nothing to do with my ex until I was 6 months along and all of a sudden wanted him in my life for me and the baby. I spent night and day crying while he was out having a good time. And hes 33. I have to say he has always been "in the picture" regardless how negative its been but it is very stressing and not good for the pregnancy, i believe in what goes around comes around and hes gotten his due lately, which I think has made him realize he needs to be an adult .it looks like he is turning around finally and accepting that he is responsible for this baby and shes part of him, but even so until she is born I cant be 100% sure and depend on it and i rather not have him around than have him resent her and her feel she is unwanted. so you have to look out for yourself and the baby, if he isnt a part of your life he still needs to be a father financially. Its hard because your not just dealing with regular emotions, you have the added bonus of hormones to make you feel like your on a rollercoaster and you dont want to be alone when you are pregnant so use this site to vent, but dont think you are worthless. You need to speak with your Dr. regarding how you are feeling, becasue what is normal stress and depression for some is alot stronger when you are prenant and have unstable hormones. And none of us want to see you do something to endanger yourself.

ps angel you dont have to tell a potential employer, i started a new job 5 months along and informed them after and the HR dept even said I am not obligated to tell them remember Equal Opportunity employment is not always the case.

Absolutely do not tell them you are pregnant. Especially this early on. I went the honest route telling people and I went on dozens of interviews and guess what? No one wants to hire someone who's pregnant no matter how much you re-assure them your ok. The one job I had as soon as they found out I was pregnant my supervisor made things a living hell until I quit. She told me I was a liability and she thought I should be smart and resign. She was such a $#$%^! I stuck it out for a while longer because I really needed the job but finally the stress was too much and I had to leave. Good luck what a fun place to work!

Good luck having the talk with him, and remember, no matter what happens you have to do what is write for the baby! :huggies:

ive decided not to call right now atleast for today. ive decided that he knows whats going on and if he wants to be involved then HE needs to take the steps. Also i should hear about the job this evening. So my fingers and toes are crossed thanks everyone

I'm crossing my fingers for you! ::crosses them:: good luck!

I have faith, angelinthsky...that will get you through EVERYTHING!

thanks guys

i know all u girls know what can make us happy. last night i took one of my neighbors daughter with me to target and spent $70 on a tent and other stuff to go camping and this weekend if its not raining too bad im going to camp out with them one night. she has 2 sisters. this ought to be fun im excited