hope your ok-be careful

well again another change. he called me last night and i went over there and we talked. he says that he does want to be there for me but he isnt sure that he wants to be WITH me. i guess we will see how things go. im not getting my hopes up

well angel like i said im going through the same thing-if they want to be there for the baby, we have to be unselfish and forget about our wants, only time will tell,but we cant make tem want to be with us no matter how much it hurts, we can only hope

Angel...If he will be a father to your baby, that's the best you can hope for. Sounds to me like the way he's been treating you, you'd be so much happier without him anyways. You don't see that now, though, I know, because I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Everyone told me I deserved better. But I loved him so much!! And he loved me!! Or so I thought...

I came to the realization that I had to accept that I was going to be sad. But for how long was up to me. I could let him go and be sad that he was gone...but that sadness would pass. Or I could keep him and pretend like we had a happy family...and be sad forever. Maybe not every day, but he'd always be around to make me sad. I decided to let him go. And it hurt. And I cried for weeks. And then...I moved on. Because I had a baby to take care of and her needs were far more important than mine. I forgot about being sad, forgot about being alone, forgot about HIM, because I wasn't sad anymore! My daughter brought so much joy! And I wasn't alone, because my daughter needed me so much. And as for the ex...he wasn't good enough for my little angel so he's no longer even allowed to be her father. (You certainly don't have to go that far if he's a good daddy, but you get the picture....)

By the way, when are you due??

quote:

well again another change. he called me last night and i went over there and we talked. he says that he does want to be there for me but he isnt sure that he wants to be WITH me. i guess we will see how things go. im not getting my hopes up

angelinthesky, while he "isn't sure" of what he wants, the fact remains that you are pregnant, and you don't need to be wondering if he is going to be a part of this child's life or your's.

My suggestion is to not sit back and worry about him...take this time to take care of yourself and your child, and don't let him go back and forth to you. You don't need the stress, and believe me, that stress will affect your pregnancy!

Go forward with YOUR life and that of the life of your child's - he can always be an active part of your baby's life, but he is showing all of the signs of he wants to be there for the glory and none of the guts - translation - when it is convenient for HIM!

Hate to be so matter of fact, but it sounds as if he is stringing you along, and you do not need that at this point in your life!

Exactly what Stephanie Anne said - don't let him stress you. I was so stressed during my pregnancy that I nearly miscarried. I was put on bed rest for 2 months.

And the convenience comment was right on. Don't go out of your way to make it easy for him to be around for the baby. That's what I did, and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. I thought it was so important that she have a father that I made a point to take her to his house, meet him places, sacrificed so much of my time trying to accommodate his schedule....and then he wouldn't be home, wouldn't show up, etc. etc. etc....because he had "more important" things to do. My daughter would cry for daddy....cuz she knew him, but didn't get to see him.

Since I cut him out completely, we're both happier. She doesn't cry for him anymore....it's almost like she's forgotten (even though I'm sure she never will). It's so much less stress on her than having to see him for 30 minutes once a month or something like that.

I feel guilty that she doesn't have a father, but I make up for it by spending as much time with my own dad as much as possible. My daughter and I hang out with Grandpa all the time. So I feel better that she has a positive male role model to kind of fill that space.

The moral of my rambling....I know you feel like dads are important, and I'm certainly not going to deny that they are...but a crappy dad is worse than no dad at all. And if your parents are supportive, as you've said they are, then Grandpa should be excited to know that his influence will be that much more important to your new little angel!!

i got a job. im working at capitol one and im makeing $10.89 an hour with the oportunity to make an extra $400 a month commision. plus benifits. and im meeting a guy today that my neighbor is tryin to hook me up with and he is going to be working with me. hes already in training and i start training october the 3rd

CONGRATULATIONS, TRACI!

That is wonderful news! Keep us posted and stay strong!!!!!!!

so he called me last night and asked me how much money i wanted each month that we would sign a paper saing that is what he will pay and i told him no. then i asked him if he was gonna sign the birth certificate and he said no that he wasnt sure that it was his kid. so i said that i will see him in court. and he kept saying how he cant have a kid that hes not ready for a kid and blah blah blah. so i said and u think that i am. but anyway this is just a vent

Gee whiz, he is not ready for a kid? TOO BAD, one precious package is on the way!

Make a note to yourself, Traci, to stay strong, and I really would lile to stress to TRY and not talk to him at all if possible at this time....concentrate on your new job, and the possibilities that will go with it in providing for you and your beautiful baby on the way!

Right now, his only concern is HIM, and that is being pretty darn selfish!

It WILL be a stretch (what lays ahead!), I am not going to lie to you about that! Take it from one who knows, now is the time to take stock of what you and the baby will need - start calling the Department of Human Services, get an appointment to apply for programs you may be eligilble: Cash Aid, Food Stamps, WIC, classes to further your education (possible? why note, of course, maybe not now, but remember the key words - GOAL SETTING!) the whole 9 yards; they will more than likely be able to arrange for the paternity test also, when the time is right.

Remember, this is NOT a hand out - think of it as a "hand-up" in assisting you until you can make it on your own....which you will be able to, but it will take planning, goal setting, support from family, friends and this board, but most of all, FAITH IN YOURSELF!

depression is setting in. he kept calling tonight telling me to have an abortion and that im too ugly to have his kid

angelinthesky
that is among the ugliest things I have read.

Could you perhaps hang up the phone when the first ugly word comes out of his mouth.

No one should have to listen to someone say those things to them.

If he were to call back, you could said that speaking like that is unacceptable.
Put yourself above it.

i did keep hangin up and then he left it in a message its just hard when the person that u still care about is saying those things

What an *&^$#!@#(. You still care about this waste of carbon based material? Wow, you have got to move on sweetie, no one deserves that kind of garbage. What a ....mumble mumble growl mumble mumble. Hmmmmmmm Virginia isn't too far from here and I'm just itching to give someone a dope slap tonight.

im just really depressed
i dont really see a point in living anymore.