I agree. In my case- and I am sure many- my ex sees her sporadically- which is worse than if he was absent out of her life. I think that messes her up more - when he calls and cancels rather than establish a pattern of seeing her every other weekend. It sometimes would be better if he doesn;t even try at all. and then she would know that was the usual pattern. Consistency is very important and when he shows up when he feels like it, then that tells her he doesn't care enough to take care.

Here here Amy Well said!

And I do agree with you atwtisend, my childrens father sees the girls VERY sporadicly and I think eats at them more then if they never saw him at all. Even when we were living just blocks from him. It drives ME crazy the way he neglects them. They are finaly at an age where it doesn't "seem" to bother them anymore but I know that it does deep down inside.