Hello,
Many of you have heard some or most of my story, so I'm sorry for being repeditive.

I'm a 26yr old single mom of 3 girls 2,7,9ages.. My youngest b-day is 01-31, and my middle's is 2-24 so soon I will have a 3,8, and 9yr old..

My older girls are helping me plan the parties, And they want there little sister to have her party at this place where its a gym and you rent out the place for the party and it's structured and sounds so fun.. And my middle daughter wants her's at a similar place put more for older children than toddlers. They usually have an exciting birthday (skate country, bowling ect), But these places are alittle more pricey-I can probally make it work money wise if I pinch in other places and strict on myself... I as well would like them to experiance something new and my baby(2yrold) doesn't have many options for her age.. But it got me to thinking. I try so hard to make them happy from 200-300dollar birthday parties to sleep over with there friends and I'm watching like 11 kids by my self (thats a challeng let me tell you that was my middle daughter thing last year with a skating party as well.) I work around there schooling and help them with projects I try so hard to be supportive and involved I try to help out serveral times a school year for both which for me is a big deal due to the fact that I work purposely while there at school to be home from them when there not. I managed to get quite a saving acct occured watching pennies refinancing my home, As My friends say if I spend money its on them.. thats me on a shopping spree having fun. (filling the cart with things my children need.) There in extra activites besides school my middle daughter is a yellow belt in Karate, My oldest is class president, in student counsil, Speed stackers a school challenge team. And I've given up dating to make sure I don't get lost in a relationship during this critical time in there lives.. There dads have no real part of there lives my ex-husband we share the oldest 2 sends money when he can And it really helps out but he's seen them 3times in 6yrs. My babys dad is not allowed to have contact with me or any of the girls due to violence in the past. And Thats fine with me I love having them to my self.

I inherrited some money when my mother passed away and I invested 90% in trust funds to make sure all 3 will have money for college and there future, as well to make sure I have something to fall back on when I retire in like 20yrs (long time) until then I make ends meet the best I can.. I love my life.. and my children and know I"m lucky for things I have been given and the help I receive..But I could have taken these years off and let them fend for them selves when they get older making it easier now.. lived it up so to speak on that money..
Ok where I'm going with this is I hope ONe day they look back and say Wow.. mom really tired so hard to make it the best she could for us...
ya know...
I'm not perfect.. I know... that and who knows how there going to feel in the future now they love me so much we're very close due to our hardships and our success. But who knows what they may resent when there older..Was I to strict..Was I to envolved.. Did I make them do to many chores... Did I hug them enough...Those are the things I worry about... sounds silly probally to some problems that this board brings up///
I'm not lonely, crushed, Depressed...I'm just worried.. How do you make sure and know for sure you're doing the right thing.. I just love them so much and try so hard.. I hope when they get older they notice that.. Instead of the mistakes I have made.. and the failure that occured between there fathers.. Not saying that I was to blame because I know I'm better off by my self in this..instead of with one of those winners.. BUt....either way the relationship didn't work..

I know I'm kinda stinging this on..But it helps my thoughts.. I love them..And I want them to know.. And I want to be a part of there lives for ever and not end up like one of the stories you so often hear about a daughter who hates her mother, and for one reason or another, has cut of relations.. I'm sure they didn't see it coming either.. I hear all these horror stories about teens who for no reason at all hate there parents.. I make my girls promise all the time.. that won't happen.. And I feel if you do right by them then theres no reason for it.. what do you think... Do teens hate there parents no matter what when there older..what kind of relationships do you have with your teen.. please help set my mind at ease.. thanks for listening and hope to hear from you..

Ya know it's interesting that you brought this up because I was thinking about whether my girls will grow up being rebellious and hate me too! And it's scary because I know what I put my mom through. Probably not as bad as others but she told me that I have hurt her as in broke her heart.

I remember just wanting to be independent and wanting to do whatever I wanted. I hated when she asked questions and tryed prying into my personal life. I felt like if I wanted to share something with her that I would. And I did not like her trying to tell me what to do or what decisions to make.
I remember running away for 3 days all because my dad told me I had to go to Sunday school, sunday services, and Wed eve. I thought there was no way he could make me do this! I didn't want to be forced to do something I didn't want to do! So off I went to a friend of mine. So anyhow I called home to talk to my brother and of course I told him where I was and they both came over to her house. Then I had to go home.

Then I also remember shortly after turning 18 I moved out and lived with my boyfriend. My parents made me really made once agian. I never told them I was moving out. I didn't talk to them for 3 weeks. I was a waitress at the time and they came in and of course I had to wait on them. And she pleaded with me to come home. I said not now but ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and moving home only after a short 2 months of living together.

I think the decisions I made were stupid but I was so rebellious and hated being told what to do. Remember I wanted to be independent also. I think my dad could have handled the way he talked to me differently. That would have helped.

Well it was a phase. I grew up. And I regret doing stupid stuff now of course. I think of how I can do things differntly with my girls.

I think the friends they have and hang out with will make a difference. And also whether they are active in after school activities. For me I think these would have helped me. That's just my opinion. All we can do is try our best! Now this is going to be on my mind tonight. Plus what if one would get pregnant or worse both!
Well I have 11 more years before I have a 16yr old. And hopefully she won't start a rebellious stage before that or even better NEVER!

You just have to hang in their and raise and teach them to the best of your abilities. You will have ups and downs but, in the long run when they are a adult they will see you were only teaching them to repect, giving them love, have morals and values the essentials of life.
Maywest

Hi all,
I just wanted to say thanks for listening to me..and responding... It really helps to hear advice, and that someone else may have the same fears..

I was pretty wild as a teen.. I think my main thing was that it was because my mom let me.. I'm sure that if she wouldn't have I would have been worse..but maybe not she was so busy with her own life and such she really didn't have time to keep track of me. Plus she really trusted me.. I was in general a good kid good grades ect.. until 2nd year of high school, probally just because of the people I hung around with.. But I don't think I ever hated her or said I did.. Or really treated her with much disrespect..(I did do alot behind her back she was not aware of..)so maybe thats it give them the space they need to be themselves just teach them better morals and such when there younger so they know what to do with that power when they get it.. I was really following the example she lead (she was a huge partier)..Thats the one thing different I am doing as a mom. I really never go out but maybe 1 or 2 times a month and then the girls are at my grandmas for the night so they really don't see me doing it ya know. I really hope they love me as much as I loved my mom-with out repeating the same mistakes that we both made.I guess only time will tell... thanks bunches