My daughter is now very aware to know what it means to be born out of wedlock. She is 13 and angry about it. I have always loved her with all my heart and to see her struggle with this is breaking my heart. I need to know if anyone else had this issue and how they dealt with it. Thanks

i really don't understand why your daughter would be so upset about being born out of wedlock? it's very common to have children like that. i have a six year old little boy who has always grown up knowing this only because i've raised him on my own. but even if i hadn't he would have know.

i really can't say that it's a generational thing because your daughter is a lot younger than i am so it should be common to her. doesn't she know other kids who are born out of wedlock.

i'm not being rude about the subject just confused. but anyways sit her down tell why she is so upset about it and talk things out. let her know how much you love her and if it's something that she wants kept quite let her have that choice. but she also may feel better is she shared it with other kids that are in the same sitation. knowing that your not alone helps so much it's helped me in a lot of bumps in my life.

my question is did you lie for 13 yrs and tell she wasn't? if so than i can see how she could be so upset over it. knowing that many adopted children get angry if thier parents lie to them about being adopted. i was adopted but never cared when i found out so i guess i'm an exception to the rule.

sorry i can't give better advice just don't know the whole problem smvt

ps good luck on working it out

Hi Canyon Mom- My daughter (13) , was also born out of wedlock. My daughter has never even met her father (I was young, he was very abusive-so this is a good thing). I told my daughter when she was about 11, I had to tell her because we were having discussion about the "birds and the bees", she put two and two together. I guess I was lucky, she did not have an issue with it. I will still bring it up occasionally, as she gets older, just to open the door for any questions she might be afraid to ask. I would guess every child is different. I was honest with her to the extent of what an 11 year old could process. It is hard to say, but I feel for you. This is of course strictly my opinion but I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, it is a serious matter, yes but for every child born out of wedlock there is a reason it happened. I would be as honest with her as you can, keep the lines of communication open and let her know how much you love her! She probably just needs time to process it, if she chooses to tell others she will find that she is not alone, not by a long shot! If months go by and she is still angry, you might consider counseling. I take my daughter to see a therapist and she loves it. It gives her a chance to open up and talk things out with someone who is neutral (she goes in by herself). I never thought in a million years I would take my daughter to a therapist but I realized it not just for people with HUGE issues anymore. If it is something you ever consider, it is extremely important that you find someone she likes. Just a few ideas for you, I wish you and your daughter the best.