I have an 11 yr old son. I really need to get some advice about the birds and the bees subject. Tonight, I told my son to take a bath just like every other nite. After his bath he went into his room and layed down on his bed. He never lays down earlier then his bedtime. I went to his room and opened the door as it was just about all the way shut. When he heard me coming thru the door he kinda jumped up alittle. I asked him what he was doing and he said nothing. I said why are you laying down so early, are you tired? He said yes, alittle. I noticed he was still squirming around under the cover. I said are you ok, sit up. He said "oh man my pants just fell down." I think he was experimenting if you know what I mean.

My problem--his dad is here with us for right now. He lives in another state but comes to visit once in a while. Ive asked him to have "the conversation" with our son and he says he doesnt know how to even start the conversation with him. I think I embarrased him by telling him what happened or what I think is happening. I know its time for it since I believe thats what he was doing under the covers tonight. Anyone have any advice that can help me with this topic????

Boy oh boy Shorty, I don't know how to approach this subject with your son. If the relationship is open between the two of you then come right out and talk with him but I would wait until dad leaves. Give dad a chance to approach the subject first since he is there.

In the case with my daughter it has always been very open. She asks and I give her a straight answer - always the truth. She is never embarassed to ask or tell. Boy do I get some doozies. As for the same issue you are having ... I had to tell her, "Honey I know it feels good but, you are wasting water. Put the shower head back on the hook and get out, dinner is ready." Of course I got the "mom how did you know?" .. "I was 12 once too.. and it was not as long ago as you think it was." We laugh about it now, only a few months later. Her friends ask all the time, "how does your mom know everything? We can't get away with anything"

You need to also tell him there is nothing wrong with his "act"/"experimenting" but, it is private and he needs to make sure the door is all the way closed, and yes you will remember to knock from now on.
Hope this helped. Welcome to the board!
C

Hey shorty my boys are 10 n 12 when u find the right approach let me know lol. You know with my 10 yr old its very easy and things are open to talk about.....but with the other one, it is very hard to talk he don't wanna hear nothin bout it. I haven't walked in on them experimenting tho. They see their dad sporadicially, so I was gonna get my brother to have that other talk with them.

My son is 8rys and has already asked some questions about babies, peroids, *** ,etc. I think it's due to the fact that many kids he hangs w/are older than him by 2 or 3yrs. Just be open. I have always been very open w/him since he was young. He askes I tell as honestly as I can on his level. The whole event you just described I have not approached yet. I guess when I cross that bridge I would just bring it up over dinner. Laugh but that is how many of our questions come up! I guess be casually about it and not act like it was completely wrong to do. B/c honestly it's just a part of growing up..i'm sure we allhave expermented at some point in our lives. It's hard to think of your child doing this and to face they are growing up. So I guess what I'm trying to say is make sure he knows it's ok just do this in private (bathroom, shower, or any other placed that is consider private and no one can walk in. My friend had a talk w/her stepdaughters who are at the teen and preteen stages about this and these are the suggestions that she gave them.

GOOD LUCK. I don't evny you...knowing I have to deal w/this in a few years.

SPIRT

My daughter is still young, but she asked me how babies are made. I just told her the part about sperm and egg, and not HOW they get together. That was good enough for her, for now.
I think its good to be honest and let your child know that you will tell them the truth, (even though I have a daughter, and I dont know how easy it will sound when she gets older) because then if they hear something about it at the bus stop, they can come to you and find out what is truth and what is not. That is what I'm hoping my daughter will do.

I just went through this with my 9yo son a couple of weeks ago. It was quite the conversation. I actually wrote the whole event down and posted it on the poetry thread if you want to check it out. It's better than repeating the whole thing.

Thanks for all the responses. I have talked to my son about his actions and just told him that it is ok to explore as long as he is private about it. I told him that everyone explores when they are young. We also had a conversation about S** and told him I think he is still waaaaaaaay to young, he has plenty of time to experience it and when he is ready for it to let me know and I will help him to the proper protection and if he has any questions about "exploring" or S** to ask me and I will be honest about the whole situation!! I liked your conversation scoutmom!! He wasnt letting you get out of the conversation. LOL. I also assured him that my brother and my dad will gladly talk and answer any questions he has if he would rather talk to a guy about these things.

Thanks again everyone!!!