My 2 yr old had already gone through the stage of spitting which I can thank my dad for. I have a balcony and my dad taught my son how to spit over the ledge. Lucky me. The thing is, he had stopped spitting about 6 months ago and now all of a sudden, in fits of temper, he's spitting at his teachers or on the floor. Does anyone know of a way to get him to stop? Every morning before daycare we go through a list that he has memorized-no hitting, no biting, no telling teachers no, no spitting, no kicking, no whining, and no biting Nicky(that's my son). And it used to work but now he's spitting and biting himself. Any ideas?

Don't you just hate it when the grandfather thinks that it is cute to teach them disgusting habits. I was infuriated when my step-dad taught my son that it was ok to tell not so appropriate jokes. I put a stop to that by telling him that the day care would be calling him on his cell. He hasn't done that since. You have to tell your dad that it isn't cute and it will get him in trouble. That would be the first thing. Some kids go through a phase of biting themself. Mine never did, but I know some that have gone through it. It is just a phase. The spitting is just disgusting. I would let Nicky know that it makes you very disappointed when he acts that way. My son hates to be told that I am disappointed in him. Little kids have a need to please us and some times this works. If not, I would start taking things away from him. If he's old enough to spit, he is old enough to be punished.

Work with daycare to find out why he's acting out. Is he doing it for attention, is he doing it to avoid something or is he doing it because the circumstances are too much for him at that time? If it's because he wants attention, be sure he's getting a lot of attention when he's being good. If he's avoiding, modify the demands so he can feel more success. If it's just "too much" and he needs quiet or a place to run off steam (or something in between), get creative for him. It's not easy being a two year old! (or his mom sometimes). Once you find out why, then you can fix it.Two year olds aren't generally very good at socializing, they need to be taught. The daycare teachers should be pretty good at it. They should also be wathching for warning signs so they can prevent the spitting and biting.

Meanwhile, try to twist it to the positive. Before you drop him off, tell him what you WANT him to do. Share toys, take turns, use your words, get the teacher for help, take a nice nap. Talk to the teacher and make sure you're using the same phrasing so he can learn what you want him to do.

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Originally posted by mamasteph:
[qb] My 2 yr old had already gone through the stage of spitting which I can thank my dad for. I have a balcony and my dad taught my son how to spit over the ledge. Lucky me. The thing is, he had stopped spitting about 6 months ago and now all of a sudden, in fits of temper, he's spitting at his teachers or on the floor. Does anyone know of a way to get him to stop? Every morning before daycare we go through a list that he has memorized-no hitting, no biting, no telling teachers no, no spitting, no kicking, no whining, and no biting Nicky(that's my son). And it used to work but now he's spitting and biting himself. Any ideas? [/qb]

I know why he's started doing this stuff. His dad suddenly came over to see him twice, the first time in a year that he had seen his dad. He started acting out and getting overly emotional as soon as he saw his dad. His daycare teacher called me and we discussed it and I also talked to a psychologist about it. The only problem now is, his dad has stopped coming around again and now I'm dealing with fits of temper. So, even though I know the why, I don't know how to fix it. Any thoughts would be welcomed.

Sounds like he needs to see a child psychologist. You might try to set him down and talk to him, but when they are that young it is hard for them to verbalize what they are feeling. It can be very difficult to deal w/and watch your child go through this. I feel for you and for him. I think the best thing to do is take him to see a specialist.