i am an 18 year old girl, i am studying at uni and two years ago my mum walked out on my bnrother, dad and i. i now have NO relationship with her yet my brother does. i have been asked to write an essay on a contempotry social issue of which i have picked divorce. i understand it was better4my mum2go as she wasn't happy but i can't understand why she doesn't want me. i'm glad she went as i now have a brilliant relationship with my dad. My dad is the best thing ever and helps and encourages me in everything i do. i respect any one who is a single parent and would be very greatful if you could tell me the + and- of been a single parent. thank you ever so much.null[EMAIL]null[/EMAIL]null

what a delight to hear from such a well balanced young girl who appreciates the commitment given to her by her dad and the relationship she has with him. I am afraid I can not give you a balanced view of single parenthood, as I was brought up like you by my dad as my mother was like yours and subsequently I have been a sngle parent for 18years, my son is your age. One of the benifits is being able to be so close you your child, being able to protect and engineer completely what they encounter in their home life and experiences within the home. My son is 18 and is quite literally my best friend, my greatest achievement as is my 6 yr old daughter. I can not think of any minus points to being a single parent but that is probably due to my lack of experience or knowledge in the 'couples' spectrim. As single parent (like all parents) we strive to sit before our child, when like you they have reached the age of independance and hope to see a well balanced forward thinking person with the confidence to build a good life for themselves with well established confidence and security....seeing that is the one of the major benifits to single parenting, producing a happy individual though some of the adversities that single parenting present, such as housing, money, education, capapsity to be there for the growing child when work determins an absence. Guilt is one of the major negitives of single parenting, guilt that you have to pay for childcare, unable to work and meet all needs of the child, guilt that the child is not in a 2 parent family, guilt that parhaps tey do not have a relationaship with the 2nd parent.etc. Guilt is always outweighted by the pride you feel as a single parent when you are the recipient of each and every cuddle your child wants to share.
I bet your dad is a proud of you as I am of my son, for not allowing yourself to be hindered by your other parents inadequacies. Why does she not keep intouch..probably because she feel guilty, inadequate, self absorbed with her own problems, perhaps she is selfish, perhaps spiteful...which ever one of the reasons she uses to justify her actions in not maintaining contact and not making you feel unconditionally loved...don't you worry about it, it is your future you need to establish, do not judge yourself..ever..on the way your mother had seemingly abandoned you..judge yourself and gain confidence by reflecting on your own friends and your dads love for you, my dad is my best friend to...I am 36 and i always turn to my dad and am closer to him and his new wife than I ever would have been to my mother who I have not had contact with for over 24 yrs...it is her loss not yours, always remember that.
Good luck on your essay writing.. hope some of the girls and guys on here will be able to give you a balanced Pros and cons to single parenting, many of them are just out of long term relationships and can tell you it from both sides.

hi,

wow it seems that you have adjusted quite well to what happened to you. i only hope that my son can have your additude when he is 18yrs. good for you.

as for being a single parent. it's an experience that is unique. for example many women say you will truly never know what childbirth is like until you truly experince it. well being a single parent is much the same way. it's nothing like being a couple and raising a child or children. i have a 7yr old little boy. like the post before me mentioned it's like your child is your best friend. through out the seven years i have spent a 100% of my life with him. there is no one else that knows me better than my little boy. the plus side to being a single parent is that i have a bond that no couple will ever have with their kids. i'm not saying that couple are bad but its just a thing that single parents get with their children. another plus in my case is that i feel my son will respect women much more because i did raise him on my own. then theres the gen. stuff of just being able to enjoy him and now that he has been my push to get through college, ect...

the bad sides to being a single parent. i have my son at 19yrs so i lost all those carefree times as a young kid just living life and doing what i want. i don't date much so i miss doing that. and the money is alway so scare. that's tough one.

but over all i have to say my kid is pretty cool. for example today he went with grandma and picked out flowers just for me for valentines day. how cool is that. i think those flowers mean so much more to than if i had a boyfriend give me flowers. just silly things like that that make me love him even more.

good luck on your paper. smvt