Just a little vent because I cant protect my daughter from everything. I have noticed that my 8 year old seems to be having a problem with her friends at school. She doesnt seem to be playing with her old friends because she says they are mean to her. I have asked her if maybe she did or said something to make them mad...she of course said no but with children they dont think they are saying or doing anything wrong. She tells me she eats and plays alone. Today I took her to school and I waited with her till a friend got to school so she wasnt standing there by herself. I walked to the end of the walkway and turned around to see if she would go off and play with them but they walked away from her and she was just standing there looking sad. I am not sure if maybe they wanted to go play on the slide or something and maybe she said no but when I saw her standing there alone I went back and waited with her till the bell rang. I know there is nothing I can do but knowing my daughter plays and eats alone breaks my heart. I asked her how she felt and she said she was sad and just wanted to go home. I told her that maybe she should try making friends with someone else that doesnt seem to have any friends because if she felt sad then probably they did too and they would be thankful to have a friend. I just feel helpless when I cant make everything better. A "mommy magic kiss" cant fix everything. Thanks for listening.

This sounds like mine when she started grade school, sad part is we had to stand back and watch cause I dout the other kids would be ok with the parent asking them whats up, they have there own little world. Its not easy to watch, but they have to work it out. If a parent steps in I can only imagin the teasing.

I was hoping some brighter mind then mine would answer this, I have been watching this post sence I got home, I hope it helps, parenthood is not easy to be sure. peace

It is hard to watch the friendship transition that happens in your children's lives (eeuu, wait until the "breakups"!!). My sage advice on this would be to speak with your child's teacher. Here in the states the schools have a no tolerence policy for children being ostracised (for any reason). It may have been something that we, as adults would consider minor, for instance, when my son was in 4th grade, the 5th grade boys picked on him for pulling his tube socks up (the way you are supposed to wear them!), called him a geek. Anyway, the teacher may have picked up on the problem, and may be able to steer your daughter toward "a better suited friend", someone she can connect with, but may have never realized it. If not, the problem may work itself out. When my daughter was in 8th grade (the hardest year of all, I think) her "crew", the girls she hung out with constantly (over every day, on the phone, sharing clothes, etc) suddenly stopped talking to her around the end of May, and her "best friend" called her once all summer, to borrow a book that was required summer reading for their Honors English! I hurt a lot for her that summer. I felt really bad for my daughter. However, they are all friends again, though, I think my daughter gained some insight on the fickleness of, especially, teenaged girls. Be understanding, but don't coddle her, it may embarrass her to have you wait around the school yard with her. I definately would talk her teacher. Hope this helps in some way.

Thank you Paul and momfoster. You have both given me some wonderful ideas and insight into the problem. Not being able to protect my child from physical things has always been my greatest fear but I never thought about the emotional issues. I know she has to work it out but in the meantime I am going to make an appointment to see her teacher as you suggested momfoster. He might have some ideas and I would like him to know I am aware of a problem and would like to be notified if this becomes a bigger problem that affects her work or emotional well being. Thanks again.

NLB - I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you and your daughter. I feel so bad for your daughter. This isn't something I've dealt with yet. Momfoster had great suggestions. Please keep us posted. Hopefully it is something that will pass quickly.

:huggies:

Thank you Melissa. I hope it works out quickly too. Will do my best to do what I can falling short of making or paying someone to be her friend.

Kids can be awful cruel sometimes; I wonder if there is some school or after school activty or club or whatever she could get involved in to help her find some new friends. My guys were never into sports but the did Boy Scouts, martial arts and so forth which expanded their potential friend pool.
And just in case no one's told you in the last 10 minutes - she's just about the cutest kid I've ever seen, what great picture.

Thank you so much binarian. You gave me a great idea!! I have been trying to shield her from it when I should be trying to put her in an interactive situation.
"And just in case no one's told you in the last 10 minutes - she's just about the cutest kid I've ever seen, what great picture." THANKS!!!

Anytime, NLB. Gives me a boost to know I can help out, even a little. We give and we get, right?

I'm at a loss for solid thoughts or advice, just oh want to give you and she some really big hugs. She will get through this, she will have wonderful and close friendships. I just feel that pain from your post and wish I had something more to offer than cyber hugs

Thank you Sue....you guys really are the greatest. You are right binarian, we do give to get and I have to say....everyone on this forum deserves the best because all of you give and help so much....

Stop...i'm getting all misty....

Little update on my oldest daughter....She is still having the problem at school but I took your advice Binarian and I have enrolled her in an after school program at the YMCA. Alot of kids go there from her school to make crafts and swim so hopefully it will lead to new friends that she can play with while at school as well. She is very excited about it and it is great to see her so eager about this.....THANKS BINARIAN!!! You made my little girls day when you gave me that idea....

Yeah, NLB. One heartache hurtled. You did great!

quote:

Originally posted by neverlookinback:
[qb] Little update on my oldest daughter....She is still having the problem at school but I took your advice Binarian and I have enrolled her in an after school program at the YMCA. Alot of kids go there from her school to make crafts and swim so hopefully it will lead to new friends that she can play with while at school as well. She is very excited about it and it is great to see her so eager about this.....THANKS BINARIAN!!! You made my little girls day when you gave me that idea.... [/qb]

And thank you too, NLB, feeling more than a little down this evening, got a lift from hearing that. Hope she does real well, makes tons of friends. Let us know please.