I have been with my fiance for 4 years, engaged for 1 of those year, no date has been set to get married.

My fiance lives in a different state then my son and I. We do plan to move there when my son graduates from high school, that is where he'll be attending college and that will be home for all of us. In the beginning of the relationship with my fiance, I said I would not want to relocate until my son graduates from high school.

My son is to start 11th grade soon.
My fiance has been insisting that we get married now and relocate. My son does not want to move now.

One of the things my son said to me is this , " he has spent the past 10 years going to the same schools, building friendships, team mates ect......... what can he build in only 2 short years? When you graduate from high school you have the same friends, experiences and lots of good memories. Then most do/or are expected to go off to college (relocate) why now?"

Please help me make the right choice move or not to move? Does anyone have any experience or knowledge concerning these situations? What could the effects be on my son? How do I go about making this decision? PLEASE HELP!!
Thank you

poolsidechats,
I personally side with your son. These are memories he has been living and working on for his lifetime. He has only a short time left and the memories will be forever. While he will make new friends in the new location they will not be childhood friends. Unless he is in a bad situation at school or with friends I would hesitated to remove him from his "home". At the age he is now it would also seem as though you are choosing you fiance over him. You do deserve to be happy and he needs to understand this. You have only a little time left with him truly. Treasure it and help him to make memories he will treasure for a lifetime.
Only my opinion with what little info I have. You are the only one that can decide what direction to go.
Good Luck.
Carla

quote:

Originally posted by CarlaA:
[qb]poolsidechats,
I personally side with your son. These are memories he has been living and working on for his lifetime. He has only a short time left and the memories will be forever. While he will make new friends in the new location they will not be childhood friends. Unless he is in a bad situation at school or with friends I would hesitated to remove him from his "home". At the age he is now it would also seem as though you are choosing you fiance over him. You do deserve to be happy and he needs to understand this. You have only a little time left with him truly. Treasure it and help him to make memories he will treasure for a lifetime.
Only my opinion with what little info I have. You are the only one that can decide what direction to go.
Good Luck.
Carla[/qb]

Thanks for your input I was feeling the same way. I have raised my son on my own since he was 6 months old, 16 years I didn't date much because I didn't want anyone interfering with the stability I was trying to build. So I figure 2 more years isn't going to be that long, we have done it now going on over four years. It will make us stronger. Thank you very much for your reply.
Karen

Hi,
Iam in agreement with your son.He has taken years to develop his social skills and also to be confident at school.
A move to a new state,school,etc. would have a negative impact on him.His confidence would be knocked back and his grades would drop.He would be isolated without any friends he can trust.And he would also be jealous that his concerns were not listened to (I would be).
On the other side of the coin.If this guy really loves you.He must realise that you come as a "Package deal" and that your son's future comes first.When your son graduates, then it will be the time for major decisions as he will have left the place of education and everything else he has known for years and would probably have to move away to a college anyways.Just wait it out. If this guy truly cares he would fully understand this and still be around in 2 years.

Just my thoughts.My kids are my world and they come first everytime.

Mark