I have an 8 year old son, and I have been a single parent since he was 1-1/2 years old. I have dated and had long term relationships with a few people, but now have been in a relationship for a year that I believe is "the one". We have planned to move in together, he has 2 kids that live with him, so we will have a full house. My son has a great relationship with his own father and is not looking for a replacement dad. My problem is that he does not seem to want to recognize my boyfriend's authority over him. When my boyfriend tells him to do something, he ignores him and runs to me. I have discussed this with him, but it is still an issue. Any suggestions?

Have you asked the kids why they don't listen.

I think that if the answer is that they don't see him as Dad. Then maybe you could start there. You could point out that your livein is an adult, and maybe make parables to other adults already in you childs life that he must listen to also.

But the bottom line is to find out why the children wont listen. It could be that they seen a few guys come and go in your life already? and the kids don't want to get attached? this may be how they show it.

Just a suggestion...

Not sure if you have, but have you told your son what the ground rules are? That he is to listen to your SO? The three of you need to sit down and discuss this and all be on the same sheet of music.

Also, counseling, even a little for the three of you, could be of great benefit.

It's a kids nature to rebel, not to listen, so they need to be shown the way of how to conduct themselves. In time, with some gentle prodding, they learn.

Patrick