What are some advantage of raising my child in a single parent home? All i see is the disadvatages? help me out!

Hi tc-m...I can completely understand how you feel, however, I think I'm a much better parent BECAUSE I'm a single parent. I have more time to devote to my child...no relationship issues to focus on, no trying to track my partner around when I realize he's been lying, no waking up in the middle of the night with that helpless, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize that he hasn't come home.

I've been able to wallow in my second childhood ...rediscovering the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world from the eyes of a child without being yanked back into "adulthood" before I'm ready.

As a single parent, your children will grow up seeing firsthand a strong, determined woman (or man). One that doesn't run when the going gets tough. They can contrast how you responded to adversity with how their non-present parent responded to adversity. You have the opportunity to model for them the kind of parent you want THEM to be when they have children. Pretty powerful stuff, if you ask me.

My undergraduate degree is in elementary education. I did a lot of research into single-parent issues and contrary to popular belief, studies have shown that children in single parent homes actually have MORE undivided parental attention than those in two-parent homes. Why? the kids don't have two parents too busy talking to each other, arguing and trying to work out relationship problems to spend time with the children. Additionally, kids in single-parent homes have also been shown to perform better on verbal ability tests in early childhood than those from two-parent homes...they speculate it's because, once again, those kids get more parental attention, their parents talk with them more frequently and with more depth. (OK, maybe that's because there's nobody else in the house to talk to, but still... )

YOU get to be the one who decides ALL the household rules and consequences. You don't have to worry about your spouse/partner undermining your authority. Your children get ONE consistent message of how they are expected to act/treat others. You don't have to justify your decision to make 5-minute dinners every night of the week if you want. You don't have to take a spouse's
career into consideration if you get a great job offer in another city. You get to follow YOUR dreams without selling them short for someone else's.

Aside from preachy politicians, most people are awed and amazed by the job that single parents do every day. They may not say it, but they are. I truly believe that so much of what we make of our life is about the attitude with which we approach it.

Hang in there, you will be rewarded...Meghan

Kiermeg.... AMEN!!! You said it!

As for the studies concerning children from single parent families.... My daughter is my HERO .. (she says mom is hers .. xoxoxo). Since my divorce and the relocation of her father (over 300 miles away), her grades are up, her social skills with children and adults are wonderful, she is participating in many activities in and out of school and doing VERY well at all of them. Her father never allowed her these things because it put him out and (now i find out) it was another form of emotional abuse (isolation). She is the type of kid.. the more she has to do (constructively) the better she does at everything. YES.. it is difficult finding a way to pay for all the extras! BUT.. I tell her as long as she gives her 100% I will continue to find a way. Many of my friends, clients, parents from school know I am a single mom. They are great! One of them came to me the other day recommending my daughter as a delegate for a 2 week (live in) summer camp ..... NO CHARGE TO ME!!! and it is only 20 minutes away.
Her father ... when he does have contact with her does not even aknowledge her achievements. She (and I ... yes I give myself credit) has all the praise and the glory for everything! She is a great child and is growing up to be a wonderful asset to the human race! I tell her that too!

Hi Carla...Your daughter sounds like an amazing little girl. After posting, I wanted to add two more thoughts. First, I think single-parenting gives you an amazing opportunity to develop a relationship with your children that is closer than any you could have imagined. Second, I have pinned to my bulletin board by my desk a little reminder
"As hard as it is to be a single mama without backup, it is sooo sooo sooo much harder to be a good parent in a shi**y relationship".
Great job with your daughter!!!...Meghan

oh man to every dis advantage there is an advantage. just look at the bright side of everything.

here are many of the advantages i have found....i can be me with my son. i also don't have to worry about any relationship probs. i dealt with that not to long ago and so glad it's just me and my son.

i'm 26yrs old but i can act as immature as i want with my 7yr old. he loves it and i don't have anyone there telling me how immature i'm acting. for example i can sing silly songs or werstle with him and theres jsut me and him hanging out.

the child respects mom or dad more i think if they raise them on their own. i know with my son he can act up but not as bad as the ones who have both mom and dad. my son also is more independent and has a leve head on him shoulders.

the biggest thing though that i love is the special bond that comes from single parenting. that bond can never be broken and and can never be developed by two parent household. having a boy i find the bond is so much stronger between us.

i'm not saying raising a child on our own is all wine and roses. there are days when i feel teribble because my son does not have a dad. i get sick of not having extra money or free time to myself. but those are the days you just grin and bear and think hey life happens so deal with it.

smvt

It's also nice to be able to not have to fight with someone over how a child is raised.