I am new to this so bear with me. My son is six years old my ex husbadn left us when Patrick was 1.
He has just started playing sports. Soccer for the next 7 weeks. I know absolutley nothing about sports. The boys on his team are picking on him because he doesn't know how to play and they know his father isn't around...

My heart is breaking because I can't help him with this. I am trying to find someone to help him the coach is a volunteer and is overwhelmed. He doesn't have time to work with him. This was supposed to be a class for beginners but most boys know how already.

I feel so lost, alone and helpless.

I think if he just started than hopefully his talent will improve, regardless if he gets much one on one attention or not. One thing that might help him is to practice with a soccer ball even if it's on his own, though it could help if you were even able to just kick the ball back and forth with him. Practice kicking with either foot, stopping the ball with his foot, even tossing the ball to about his chest to get used to stopping the ball without hands(helps for him to slightly move backwards as the ball meets his chest so it stops closer in front of him instead of bouncing away). He'll get more accustomed to controlling the ball and start improving while running the field passing the ball to teammates etc.
Sometimes kids can be down right mean, the coach really overwhelmed or not, should be keeping that stuff under control. Granted he may not have much time for one on one help with your son's skills, but he really should be working on the team attitude. Perhaps talk with him about that issue, that discipline is best coming from the team coach than individual parents even. Most young sports teams nowadays are more geared to everyone's a winner attitude. Lots of beginners teams when they "compete" don't even keep scores, at least I know that's how they do it for T-ball baseball.
I can remember playing baseball many moons ago in grade school. Frankly I was terrible, afraid of batting the ball especially. I was still able to enjoy myself playing with a team considering the coach kept a team attitude amongst the kids. As time went on I got a bit better, just by way of staying on the team and continuing to play. I never got GOOD by any means but was still able to enjoy it. I was actually better at soccer later on, come to find out. Sometimes us guys are better suited for one sport over another.
Hopefully Patrick is enjoying his time playing which is more important than how good he is right now. If he keeps at it he will get better with time.

Hi,
Sorry you are going through this....I am very aware of this treatment and it nearly broke my heart when my daughter was treated like this in hockey years ago. (She is now Awesome at it, but that is another story) It also hurt especially because hockey is my specialty and I am a VERY competitive athlete. Your son has to practice. You are lucky that time is on your side being that your son is so young. My advice to you is to tell your son to stick up for himself. Your son will continue to get picked on until he not only gets better but speaks out to the leader of the pack. It works. Kids pick on some others because they don't want anyone to see their own flaws so they point out all the flaws in others and it takes the pressure off of them. It is hard to give your permission to be a snot but it is the only way he is going to learn how to stick up for himself. Bully's only pick on kids who don't talk back. Think about it. If you were a bully, you would pick on someone who can't or won't fight back. Same goes verbally. My daughter is 12yo now and she is sooo confident and popular at school because she is well liked and doesn't take any crap from anyone. This negative behavior your son is receiving will be positive in the future for him because he is learning how it feels to be on this end of the stick. He will also learn how to deal with bully's in the future. When your son is practicing outside with you not only encourage him with the ball, but say things to him the bullys might say so your son has practice how to respond to it. Tell your son what you are doing. (you are practicing both) I did this with my daughter and when one of the moms approached me I let her have the truth....that ended everything. Try it. Talk to the coach too... but whatever you do....don't let him quit.

I also wanted to say when you practice with him outside....if you can't kick the ball (for whatever reason) toss it in the air towards him and have him use his chest/body to stop the ball. All is fair in soccer except for raising your feet too high to kick the ball, and touching the ball with anything from the shoulder down the arm and hand. Also stand about 7-10 feet apart and then throw the ball hard on the ground with a slight bounce and toward his direction, and let him practice stopping the ball with his foot. Repeat, repeat and repeat. If you want you can buy some little orange cones and let him start running with the ball in and out of the cones, using the ball and his feet. You can use just about anything but cones will be familiar when he does this in practice. He can also bounce the ball off his knee to his hands, and alternate knees. Kicking the ball between his feet, instep to instep, (with a kind of jump)to keep the feel of the ball close to his body. Pretty soon he will be bouncing the ball up in the air knee to knee, and running with the ball. (I wish I lived near you I would come over and help him).

Thanks, I will work with him at home kicking a ball. I don't have a soccer ball yet will a basketball do? I figure a ball is a ball. They don't keep score yet. Part of the problem is the lack of a father... that is what he get teased about the most. I expect in time this will end because some of these kids will go through something similar. It is sad to say but its the truth. I am trying to teach him to flip the bad situation into a good outcome they way mother Teresa did. I will continue to encourage him. Thank you all for the great advice it is nice to know I am not alone.
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Hurray, a single soccer mom! I thought I was the only one.

First of all, talk to the coach about what's going on and make sure she talks to the kids about good sportsmanship.

Then give your son a way to verbally defend himself such as telling the kids "give me a break, I tried, I'm new at this."

I'm surprised that he's getting picked on for not having a father (around). What have you taught him about defending/explaining the situation he's in? Things like, "I have a dad, he lives in another state." (or whatever). I don't understand what difference it would make if his father was there. If there's an issue, you can stick up for you son just as well as any man!

As for practicing. He does need a soccer ball. Walmart should have them fairly cheap. Put your name and phone number on it, in permanant marker, in case it is misplaced.

At age six, he needs to know four things:
1. how to run the ball (dribble),
2. kick the ball hard, either to someone or between two cones (most 6 year olds have terrible aim)
3.stop a ball that is kicked to him (this is hard for most 6 year olds).
4. not use his hands.

Anything else is icing on the cake. I'm a clutz, but I can more or less do these things.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you both.
Gwen

Sure he can use a basketball for starting out, just know there are enough differences between the two balls for any long term practicing. The basketball will be harder, heavier really. You can probably even find a cheap soccerball at like Wallmart or something for a few dollars.

If most of what the "bullys" are saying is about not having a father he'll just need to stand up to that enough to let them know he has enough confidence in himself that their words aren't going to get him down, that he'll still be out their playing. If they can see that it's not bothering him, then it takes the "fun" out of it for them.

Hello again,
I thought you meant they were teasing him about not playing well. Not to sound like kids don't need both parents but I hope you are not making a big deal out of him not having a dad in the picture...If your son sees that this is a huge hurtful deal to you it will be to him. Don't act like having a man in the picture is the only way he can get better at sports. There are a lot of dads that can't play sports...You have to practice some responses your son can use when this comes up again. As far as a ball being a ball....I would not use a basketball, it is not only heavier but bigger. Soccer balls come in different sizes. Make sure you buy one that is his size. It is probably a 4 for his age, but find out from the coach what to buy. Kicking a basketball can hurt his foot and ankle. Have you ever done that? Huge difference. Anyway just my thoughts.

Thanks a friend loaned me a soccer ball. It is a whole lot easier to kick around. As for the teasing I am tell him to tell the kids he is in the Army(which he is) and he can't visit. I try very hard not to show him it bothers me. I can tell for him it is a very sensitive issue. I am telling him to not make it look like a big deal to him. He is like me I can't play poker because my expressions give it away. The kids pick up on his facial expressions. I thought I would role play with him and have him look in the mirror to try and harden up the facial expression so they wouldn't notice as much. Anybody try this?

Hi, Good...I'm glad you got a hold of a ball. Yea, facial expressions say it all, and you're right they will pick up on that. Just be sure to practice some verbal responses too because this will also make your son feel more confident. It doesn't necessarily have to be snotty but clever. Let us know how it works out for you.

Thank you all for all your help. He had his practice yesterday and it went better than than last time.

Oh good, I am so glad for you and your son... Thats great.

Kids do like to pick on kids that are alone and dont have "back up" or are younger. Ive been through this with mine. My daughter used to be scared when she was younger and we had to defend her a lot now I finally got her toughened up and she is popular and a tough little chickie(shes 12 now) My son is 7 and he gets picked on sometimes, although hes good and is very clevber and cute. Usually I try to talk to teachers or whoever first, if that dont work I go to the school or wherever it might be and hang out-Ive even went up to the kids and asked them "why you picking on my son?" It helps having older brothers and sisters to defend him too, but if you dont have that maybe an older cousin or neighbor would help him out. I dont see any reason you couldnt hang out with him at practice as well. And you know what? Its not even about a fight, if you can get a kid to warm up to you they would maybe become friends with your son and help him out if you asked them . A lot of kids that bully also come from homes where they dont get a lot of attention or are insecure about something. Hope things keep getting better!

Thanks. His next practice is today. I try to be there when I can but because of work I can't always be there. I have been kicking the ball with him and he is getting better at it. I am finding as I have found personally life can tear you down but go to the people you know love you and let them build you back up. I am showing Patrick that. He is such a sweet kid.