I'm a single mom with a 3 year old litle boy and I am pregnent with my second child. I have been trying (with NO success whats so ever) to potty train my 3 y.o. since he was about 2! He has ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in the potty! It's getting to the point where I am embarassed for him and my family (mainly my mother) are starting to ? my parenting abilities b/c he isn't potty trained. I don't want to have a newborn AND a 3 year old in diapers but I've tried EVERYTHING to work with him and NOTHING works! If anyone has any advice on this subject PLEASE pass it on I'm really at my wits end with it!
Thanks-Becca

I went through the same exact thing with my first born and my newborn. (When she was a newborn) Nothing worked for me either. I tried every trick I heard, and I really do mean anything!
When my dd turned 1, and 3 month before he turned 4 he decided on his own to potty train and has only had 3 accidents in a year.And that was when his father and I were still living together and getting along for the most part.
He still wears pull ups at night, and right now I am not pushing that till we get more settled.
The only advice I can give is to as much as it's aggravating, just to let him do it in his own time. I know exactly how you feel with having two in diapers, especially when the first is preschool age.
Your parenting skills are not bad, and if someone judges your parenting on that one thing, they are simply being niave; making a un-educated judgment.

Tammyskids is right. One "problem" in not a bad parent. You have bigger ones to come as he grows. I started all my kids out pretty young putting them on the pot before a bath once a day, then running warm water over them to make them go. I do this to my 14 month old now and I found her sitting on the pot today. I don't push but make it fun.
I also used m&m's or other small candy 1 for try, 2 for pee, and 3 for more. When doing this I did not let them have any other candy unless they went potty. A big part of the trick is consistency. Close to the same times every day.
I also have a daycare and some kids just are not ready mentally or physically.
If you think he is ready you may even have to take him out of the diapers and let him be uncomfortable. Some kids figure out that they do not have to stop play time with a diaper on.
Good luck

I also agree...my son will be 4 in January, and he is JUST now becoming potty trained. I felt the same way you did-I was embarrassed and questioned MY ability to parent. Everyone loved to share their stories with me, "Oh my child was trained at 16 mos, etc" I felt so stupid sometimes. But then I just decided you know what? This child has enough going on in his life. He will do it when he's ready. I didn't push him into it, I didn't force him to sit on his potty until he went...I waited until he showed an interest in the potty, in wearing big boy underwear, etc. He was the last child in his class at daycare to be trained...but hey, he's pretty much there now besides the occasional accident and it wasn't a headache for me. I mean, sure it took forever, and there were definitely times I wished he had been so I could have stopped with the diapers-but we never had any knock down, drag out tantrums about the potty. Some kids train early, some late-don't beat yourself up over it. Sure, it would be more convenient for your child to be potty trained already but it will happen when he's ready. Candy worked for me too-and I had tried it before when he was younger. But this year, after trick or treating, I took that candy and put it up high where he couldn't reach it. He was allowed one piece of candy if he used the potty at home. And then when that started working well, I told him if he could stay dry ALL week at daycare we would see Shark Tale at the movie theater. It worked. He stayed dry, and got a reward for doing it. Rewards are a good way to get them motivated. Also getting out of diapers could work, although for awhile my son would pee or poop in underwear just as easily, so it just depends.

Hang in there...take it slow, don't push and don't beat yourself up. It's fine. He'll get there eventually.

Just keep in mind not being potty trained "on time" does not make you a bad parent and will not leave emotional scars on your son. He will be fine and so will you if he takes a little longer.

One thing that I've tried that's worked, is bringing an [egg] timer to the washroom. It's a good way of redirecting the focus from self to the timer, while relaxing him when he's trying to pee.

Set it for 2 minutes; place it in front view while standing him in position; say: "Pee time!" Then wait until the timer goes off. If he pees he pees, if he doesn't, he doesn't. I think having a tactile object in the washroom makes it more fun. You can even ask him to bring it - make it a game.

Also, your child may not necessarily understand what the purpose is. Try drawing it out for him in yellow [maybe he can too]. It's a handy visual cue. This technique is also used with children w Autism.

Good luck.
jes, the newbie

same here, four years old and still not quite "there". Pees now by himself (only in the last month or two), but still wear diaper for the poop. Can't beat it, and tried everything from training, bribing threatening...he just has his own inner time, and now I am more at peace, at least I don't get frustrated once I accepted it. My mother, too, was critical, now I just let the issue fade out and when i don't respond she let's it be. Three is fine, although having the new one will keep your hands full. Children are more in tune with themselves these days, and so they are less compliant with "rules" and expectations. I find it refreshing, although harder on us. good luck, and if you find a method I haven't tried, let me know. CHeers.

Thanks so much for the suggestions and the reasurance! Dylan actually pooped in the potty on christmas eve (that was the best xmas present I got!) so hopefully we are moving in the right direction now!

Becca,
Glad to hear it. You will make it and so will he. You are going in the right direction. Poop is normally harder than pee. Consistency is the key.