Ok, so I know that there is a Holiday section, but this really doesn't have anything to do with that..let me explain. My parents told me that the home they have lived in for almost 10 years is up for sale. I don't have a lot of early childhood memories from that house, but I do have a lot of memories in that house. We moved there less than 2 months after my Grandmother died, when I was 15. Why is that detail of my Grandmother is important? Well, up until that year the Holidays had always been a certain way. I had a different view on them. Holiday memories included going to Grandma's house and being with the family, and talking about things we did when we were little-r, crocheting on the couch while the adults chatted about, and chantilly lace in the air (my Grandma's perfume.) After Grandma passed away, we decorated that new house from top to bottom and every year after. The whole family came to have Christmas with us and we only went out on Christmas Eve to visit my Mom's side. Christmas tradition got moved to my Mom and Dad's house, as well as Thanksgiving. I also had some teenage firsts in that home, including falling in love for the first time and I brought my baby girl home from the hospital and into that home.

I have been out of my parent's home for 4 1/2 years, but I haven't been able to buy my own home or stay in one place for much more than a year. We were in the same complex for 1 1/2 years, and now this apartment home for just over a year. I'm trying to put down roots, but I know that it won't be here - it's not big enough for us and it isn't mine. What I'm trying to say is that at Christmas time - I think of how I can't wait to drive out to my Mom's house and help her decorate the house and helping her cook for the whole family in her kitchen. I think of Thanksgiving dinners there. I think of playing the piano in her dining room. I think of the entire family sitting around on the rug in front of the fireplace and seeing all the hard wood and detail (it was built in 1890.) I don't think of my house. I certainly don't think of a sterile 2 Bdrm apartment home just a block from Wal-mart. Their home is in the country. A little town of maybe 800 people, where you can still hunt on your own property; see the local barber in church at in the grocery, as well as sit in his chair for a shave. In the summer my kids go out and run in the 2-3 acres of yard and swing on the tire swing or ride the horse. All of that is going away too. All of the memories I have of my Daughter's 1st this or that - I've for some reason filed them in that house. Does that sound wierd ? I know it does.

Anyhow. I just thought that as I go through all these odd feelings, that I'd ask all of you to tell everyone what you associate Thanksgiving and Christmas with. I'm sure we all have something we look forward to that is tradition. Something that if it were changed, just wouldn't quite seem the same. What is it that each of you have associated these holidays with?

I know change is good. I know that my parents need this. I just know that it was easier to blame them when I was 15 for moving, now I have to be adult about it. I just want to know that maybe I'm not the only one that has these feelings about "home."

Hey,
I'm sorry you're feeling the loss. I think you might be feeling your deeper roots being pulled out. You said you are trying to lay down some roots and maybe this is good for you as well because it makes it that much more of a strive. Not that you aren't striving because it's hard, but when you do get your own house and start fixing it up and doing things to it that you like...you and your kids will begin to feel your roots going deeper. It'll be what you have now with your parents house...except it'll be yours and your kids. I understand exactly what you're saying. I haven't felt that way about my parent's home in a very long time but you have some definite 1st memories there.

As for the holidays....my grandpapa died in May and I still mourn for him. Even now just writing/thinking about him brings tears to my eyes and heart. I miss him. The holidays haven't been the same for a long time anyway but mostly because us kids have been moved out, and one brother, out of state. The best part of Christmas for me is Christmas morning when my parents and sister come over to watch my daughter open her presents. It is also the time we all hand out eachothers gifts and we have a big breakfast and then they go home. More times than not....later on Christmas night, everyone comes back for gifts and Christmas dinner...but at this time my brother comes with his family. I think my daughter is going to remember and think of a lot of the same things you mentioned above. She loves a fire going in the fireplace and sets up the couch in the family room..with pillows etc. just the way HER grandpa likes. (My dad) It's kinda cute. Her grandpa, my brother and my nephews go back in there and the women sit around at the dining room table talking an all that. I know she looks forward to all of it. There are Christmas's when I work...but since I work midnights I can't always have the Christmas night dinner here, but we always get to do the breakfast. I look forward to that more than the dinner. It's a guarantee that I will at least have that on Christmas. Thanksgiving is always at my mom and dad's house. We used to take the kids to the parade but they outgrew it and don't want to go anymore.

I hope that you feel better soon. It will probably really hit you harder when it sells...not that you wanted to hear that. Maybe you can take something from the house...like a doornob or a doorknocker. Something you can have as a little rememberance that you can also put in your house when you get one of your own. Take care and peace.....Karen

When I was 16, almost 17, my parents made me move from the tiny town in Oklahoma I grew up in for almost 8 years (the longest we had ever put down roots in one place) to a much bigger place in Florida. I was just about to start my senior year of high school and I was devastated that I wouldn't be able to graduate with my friends. I realized that wouldn't be the only thing that I would be missing out on.

My grandmother's house is the place where we all gathered for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, New Years and any and all birthdays. My mom didn't go all out like she did. No one else in my family realized the importance of tradition. I am all about tradition in my own home, but can't get any of my family in Florida to understand that. I hate going over to my mom's house for holidays because she doesn't decorate. It is hard to celebrate Christmas and not sit around the tree!

You aren't alone in those feelings. Sometimes we just have to make the best of the situation we are going through at the time. It isn't easy, but it will get better. That sounds so cliche, but it is true!

My parents are still in the same house for nearly 42 years now that they bought before I was 2. I'm sure it'll be very strange to see other people living there when that time comes. Even so over the years our traditions have changed with the times, as we've gotten older. It's next to impossible to get all the kids and families together at one time anymore. Last year for Christmas was the first time in about 20 years that all 4 of us kids were together at the folks with our families.

I do know what it was like to see my grandma's house go. She lived within a few miles so we were there often. They tore that neighborhood down to build a new fancy marina, complete with new crowded together houses. Her house was huge, towered above the few surrounding homes and was a long time icon for the town. They even tried to save it for historical value, but the developers pockets were apparently too deep and down it came, about 10 years ago now. It was so strange for a while not seeing it there anymore. Now it's just normal to see the new places there. But the memories still live on bright and vivid.

And people set down roots at different times in their lives. I just bought my first house 6 years ago. So don't fret it too much that you haven't yet, plenty of time to beat this ancient person.

I say cherish the old memories and embrace the new ones.

I got my first shock this year at Thanksgiving dinner. We always have it at my Aunt's house (partially because she is the only one with a big enough house and partially because her son is the youngest(now 18)). This year there was a kids table and I wasn't the one that had to sit there. Granted I am 27 now but it just felt weird because this is the first time that we had a kids table since we were all little. I have my 7 year old and my one cousin has a 3 & a 4 year old...they were the kids table. It was definitely a cool first.

We have always gone to my grandmother's house for Christmas! In 29yrs, that is the only place I have ever gone for Christmas. My Great-Grandmother is still alive and the first Christmas that she is not at is going to be the hardest Christmas. My children have their great, great grandmother still around, they know her, I have pictures of them together but I would so like her to be around for more Christmas' when they are older and fully able to remember her. She is the greatest lady, 90 yrs old and still dances around the house on Christmas after we open presents. Christmas just wouldn't be the same without her.

Hi,
My grandpapa was 95 when he passed in May. Up until the last 3-4 monthes before he passed he was walking at the malls, driving a stick shift truck and cracking all kinds of jokes. I know what you mean mamasteph....it's very strange without him around. My daughter will always remember him too.

I knew both of my great-grandmothers and one great-grandfather. My mom's parents are divorced and remarried, so on my side there are 2 sets of grandparents to love Ty. He knows and loves them both. It really is nice to have the great-grandparents alive to know the kids. THere is nothing greater. I take as many pictures as I can when they are around us, so that he has as many memories captured as I can get. I don't know how I will be able to handle it when the time comes and they are no longer with us.