LD,
Another thought I have had. If this does end up in court make mention to the judge of your work schedule and the difficult boss. That way maybe he/she will set up a more flexible visitation schedule for you.

If this luckily does not go to court... talk to Amy the way you would want to be talked to.. no threats. I know you are mature but sometime we all need to be reminded to speak to the other parent (no matter how irrational they may be) in a caring, rational, "child's best interest" manner. Believe me my situation gets pretty volatile because of my ex and it is so difficult to remain the bigger person some times but, it can be done. I guess what I am trying to say .. Never let this come out of your mouth as a threat.

As for the parents being responsible. Find out this info before going to court and discuss it with your mother in detail. You should be able to call child welfare or what ever organization in your area and get this infomation easily.

Another thought... find out if there are some parenting classes in your area. Take these voluntarily. Anything such as single fathers, cooperative parenting, caring for your infant. The Red Cross even has babysitting classes. You are a father not a babysitter but they teach you CPR, choking care, diaper changes , feeding, appropriate play for different ages, etc. You will be in there with a bunch of 13 -14 year olds but you can do it! Make sure you get a certificate to show the judge and the grandmother. This will be very helpful and look great on your part to the judge. It will show him or her the level of maturity you are showing us here.

The better armed and knowledgeable you are the more mature you will appear and better your outcome.

Good sound advice already given for you LukensDad.
Please keep us posted as it goes, there are some issues others could learn from for later on. Hopefully at this point you can work something out with her amicably. If it does go further obviously there are other questions such as how it works out through court being minors that could help others to know more about.
Know this, you have a good deal of support here, I'm sure you've noticed that you have impressed many here with your level of maturity, and I think that Luken is a lucky boy. You are right, it shouldn't be a "game". Keep it real, and do what you need to do in as calm/rational manner as you can. Best wishes on getting this worked out.

LD,
Carla gives you excellent advice there with those classes. Not only does that show the judge and your ex's mom that you are trying and learning but it does have the added assurance of knowing you are doing things correctly. Those classes are also offered at the city Municiple building and at local hospitals, as a part of the Well Baby progam, and/or babysitting classes. Anyway, good luck and take care.

quote:

Originally posted by CarlaA:
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Another thought... find out if there are some parenting classes in your area. Take these voluntarily. Anything such as single fathers, cooperative parenting, caring for your infant. The Red Cross even has babysitting classes. You are a father not a babysitter but they teach you CPR, choking care, diaper changes , feeding, appropriate play for different ages, etc. You will be in there with a bunch of 13 -14 year olds but you can do it! Make sure you get a certificate to show the judge and the grandmother. This will be very helpful and look great on your part to the judge. It will show him or her the level of maturity you are showing us here.
[/qb]

That's a good idea, but I'll have to look in to if/when I can fit that in. Not that I don't want to, but I go to school and work like 26 hours a week.

But I'm definitely going to look in to what involvement *our* parents have to have in this whole thing... thanks. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well, as it turns out I'm not necessarily as mature as you all think I am.

The conversation didn't go well, harsh words were exchanged, and things were said that... should not have been said, on both sides.

And then I had to go to work, where I almost got fired because as it turns out, customer service training all goes out the window when you're already in a bad mood and someone implies you don't know how to do your job.

So all in all it's been a bad day, I hate most of the human race, and my relationship with my son's mother is falling apart even more than it already was. I'm going to bed. If someone wants to come by and shoot me, that's okay too.

Oh my gosh, I guess you did have a bad day. Mature people still get angry and say things that they shouldn't say from time to time, so don't be too hard on yourself about that LD. Things get very frustrating for us older folks who have been around the corner more than once...you are going through a lot right now with all of this, just like her, you two are just trying to figure things out. You guys are young and you sound too smart to give up. Give yourself some time right now to rest and think things through...Maybe you just need to get some sleep and things might seem clearer in the morning. Hang in there.

I am sorry that you had a bad day. Dealing with an ex seems to put me in a bad mood or makes me very sad. My ex pretends that everything is okay and it drives me nuts. Everything isnt always okay. I hope that things get better for you. Not to quote Little Orphan Annie but "The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there will be sun." I hope that adds a little bit of humor to your day.

LukensDad,
We are all only human, and therefore we just can't be perfect all the time. Besides where would the challenge be in that
Today is another day. First day of the rest of your life. Keep on doing the best you can with what's in front of you, and don't beat yourself up for yesterday.

Well, I feel better this morning... sleep does wonders. I guess it wasn't the worst thing that could happen, although now my ex's mother knows that I think she's an overbearing, scheming, unreasonable psychopath, but with a whole bunch of other words in there that I probably can[t say on here.

But I still think it may have damaged any hopes of settling this thing amicably, and we may end up in court.

LD,
Glad to see you are feeling a little better. Sleep does have it's many rewards.

I am sorry though that you have to go through all this. Hang in there.

Hey LukensDad,

You're right about losing it but maybe, on the sunny side here, you showed "mom in law" that you do have a back bone and you're for real.

It may have been a mistake losing it but maybe your fatherhood came out enough to show grandma you're there for the long haul.

Good luck.

Well last week has definitely come back to bite me in the you-know-where.

I was not allowed in the house to see Luken today. So I guess I'm going to have to take them to court and get my visitation court ordered.

Keep your head up and be proud LukensDad, many would bail at this moment but you're the real deal.

It may get rough now if you are forced to court but you have your rights so exercise them. Everybody here is with you friend.

Hi Lukensdad. Definately get your rights court ordered. Otherwise, you will always be at their mercy. Fathers Rights can direct you to affordable legal help. My son's girlfriend trys to pull crap all the time to get her way. If she violates a court order, you can call the police. Otherwise, it is just a civil matter.

I agree with the above posters...

Look at it as though it was probably going to happen anyway, because Grandma does sound controlling. At least you got to say what you wanted to say and they know now that you have a position that you are willing to fight for. They are just testing you to see if you will follow through with the threats. Up until now you could say whatever you wanted and you weren't violating anything....now be careful and don't make threats, because chances are they have already made an appointment with a lawyer or has already done so. Get to filing those papers asap. Don't delay. Good luck, and I am sure everyone here is hoping that you do keep us posted. Hang in there. Karen