ok,im not a single paret but i neeed help from someone who has experienced being a teen father.my and i found out she was pregnant yesterday,i am 18 and she is 16.we decided to tell our parents as soon as possible so we told them today.her parents where great with it and offered us anything we needed,but my parents told me they didnt want me in their house anymore and when the baby is born they want nothing more to do with me.i know ill have to move out and i have somewhere else st up to lie which is perfec for me with low rent,but this means i would need to quit college and get a full time job...i need someone who has been through this or something similar to help,will they eve come round?i just wanted thm to say were disspointed but we love you and will give yousupport,but now they say im no longer thei son?...thanks-jack

Hey,

In the Summer of 1994, my girlfriend and I told our parents that she was pregnant. She was 16 and I was 18 years old (she turned 17 before our wedding). Her parents were angry, but supportive. They couldn't offer much, however, as they were Irish immigrants with 7 kids. My parents were far beyond angry, and they were unsupportive. They could have offered plenty, but they couldn't see beyond how my mistake affected them (although they did come to the wedding).

For the questions you asked, I can't promise that your parents will behave the same way as mine, but mine did come around. Eventually they realized their disapproval wasn't hurting anyone but themselves. I was going to survive with or without them, and my son...their grandson...was going to be born and also grow with or without them. I don't feel close to my parents to this day, but I don't keep my son from them and they love him as much as any of their grandchildren. Honestly, I feel indestructible having raised my family without their help, and I don't know how I would feel if they had given me assistance.

Even though you didn't ask about this next stuff, I feel that I should say it.

Are you going to marry your girlfriend? I don't know the laws in England, but in the US I would have had very few rights as a father if I hadn't married my son's mother. She eventually left, but because we were a married family she left *us*...not just me. I'm sure you're not thinking about your gf ever leaving you (as I certainly was not when my ex was pregnant), but if she ever does change her mind about being with you, those signatures on that marriage certificate may turn out to be very important. Lol...of course, everyone would be best off it you guys got married and stayed together until you grew old, dying together hand-in-hand.

Next, you will be best off if you stay in school and finish your degree. I know how many immediate problems you are facing and how much those problems are helped with immediate cash. In the long run, however, your family is best served by your finishing a degree and improving your earning potential. Your child will remember little of the conditions they lived in before they were 4yo; that's all of the time that it'll take you to finish school. After that, your child will remember much about the extra $10-50k a year your college education will bring to your household. My life is hardly a fairy tale, but the ways that finishing my college education has helped me and my son are uncountable.

Later,
Bobby

Hey man parents only get mad because your a newer model of them selves in a different time and thats really what it's about (time)man.You know your parents might have been around your age when they had you and being a parent at a yound age is ruff especially now it alot more exspensive.Your parents only want what best for you and soon very soon you will feel the same way for your child and when the see you rushing into adulthood or adult like situations it makes them worry shoot with my mom she said I hope you don't think that Im going to raise those kids like some of theese grand parents and my response was well you barely help raising your own kids what makes you think I was going to ask.When really I knew she wanted to help it's just hard for parents to realize we're going to grow up some time it just may not be when they are ready.They just dont want you to derail what you have been building for the last five or six years cause when you have kids your life gets put on hold no matter how much help you get. Just give them some time and if they dont come around then hit them with this...(you can buy,you can sell,you can trade,you can create,with all the materialistic things we can recycle back into the world what is the one thing we can't get back....TIMEso use it to build not to destroy and tell them you may or may not aprove but you are and always will be my parents and I'll never dissown or stop loving you.Best wishes and good luck (congrats as well)one day at a time it's all about the baby now not you or your parents just be good ones to your child

First of all your parents should understand you are trying to be a man and take care of your responsibilities.Try to talk to them and see if they will except you and your baby.Because you are apart of them and your baby is apart of you.

Bobby,Fighting Father and BabyMama,i read your advice and thank you so much,you all helped a lot,i spoke to my parents and,horrible as it sounds,i made them feel very small by putting them in their place,they said some hurtful things so i told them all the things that where going to happen and the fact the child was coming no matter what they thought hit them real hard.doing this made them see that i needed their help and they both said we still disagree but in time were sure things will be ok.this is a big start and something to build on,i know its hard for them as they are 55 and 56,and we have a few other family problems at the moment,grandma is very ill,big problems with brothers ex,and ths was awful timing,but theyr starting to realise tho im 18 i still need their support....seriously,if it wasnt for you guys,id still be in the sh*t with tis,so thanks-jack x

Keep in mind that your parent’s frustration/anger comes from them wanting the best for you. They probably had plans in their heads for what you were going to do or become. Parents tend to see their children as pieces of a puzzle, and they think that once one of those pieces is changed or missing, the puzzle will never be complete.

When my parents found out about our pregnancy, they were irate. They stopped all the funding that I was getting from them (I was in college) and made me feel very very small. The time when they finally came around and understood that they only had two real options was when they saw the first sonogram picture. That is when they realized they could either be supportive and have a place in my sons life, or they could reject him and see him as my life’s biggest mistake.

I think that inherently, unless you have accomplished all the hopes and dreams that your parents have for you, they will almost always be upset with news that their plans for you have deviated. In the end, at least in my experience, they come to realize that your child is the most precious gift that you could ever give them, a grandchild. There is no one else in this world that could give them the same gift.

They will realize that they want to be in your child’s life, and they will realize that all is not lost in you. Essentially, their job of raising you is over, and now they have to sit back and see what kind of job they did in teaching you responsibility. Being a father is not easy, and it will be very trying on your mind, body, and soul, but at the end of the day when you see that little face, and you look into those beautiful eyes and realize that you now have something that loves you more than anything else in the world, all the hardships are worth it.