Hi,

I'm the full time parent of my 13 y/o daughter.

I posted this in another forum, but didn't get much response (thank you to Don though). So I thought I'd try here too.

My daughter wants her belly button pierced. She already has 3 piercings in her ears. Her friend got her started on this now. At first I was ok with it; her friend was going to have it done until her mother said no. Her reason was she was going to be running track in the spring and that would aggrevate it??????

Anyway, my daughter is hell bent for this. In MA, you have to be 16, but in NH you don't. So she's pushing me to take her to NH.

I'm guessing this is really pretty harmless. My daughter is a good kid; doesn't give me trouble. She is responsible and smart; she will take care of it. But I don't like the idea. I don't know why. I already told her she can't be always wearing shirts that expose her midriff and she agreed to that.

Any thoughts, opinions, halucinations?

Well, I read Don's reply, and I do agree with him, a piercing is not going to increase her ability to do anything that she wants to. That being said, a belly ring is a big thing now-a-days, and it is almost as prevalent, if not more so, than the "tramp stamp". When I see a girl with a belly ring, I think to myself that she is definitely trying to draw attention to herself. Why does she want the attention, probably to feel more attractive or something along those lines.

The fact of the matter is, she is growing up. You do have the right as a parent to tell her no on things such as this, but be cautious in what you say yay or nay to. You do not want to create an environment where she might do stuff behind your back because she knows that you are not open minded about change. You could use it as a type of reward type thing, saying if you get straight A's this semester in school, you can get it done. You could set a limitation on it such as she could only wear a stud as opposed to one of those dangley belly rings. There are many ways you can go about it. Just keep in mind, you were young once, and you wanted to do things that your parents also thought were a bit extreme.

I'm pretty sure my opinion would be WAYYYY TOO CONSERVATIVE for most on the forum...so I'll withhold it for now.

(just in case that doesnt give you an idea of my position on the matter...LOL)

Oh,btw, what's a "tramp stamp"?

tramp stamp....tattoo
Just for the record since there's 2 threads now...my position on the piercing is NO. That's why my 14 yr old wants as well and she'll be lucky if I allow it at age 16...maybe. It'll really depend on what happens in the next couple years, otherwise it'll wait until she's 18 and won't need my permission
She has two holes in each ear currently and no more there either.

"Tramp Stamp" is the tattoo on the small of the back that became very popular in the late 90's, early 2000's. I think it is referenced in the movie "Wedding Crashers", and the comment is something about....she has a "tramp stamp" she is easy.....

Ok...my opinion then:

Tramp stamps first:

I dont really care for Tats on a woman (glad I spelled that right, whew!) To me, a womans skin is ...well, right up there with ice cream or melted chocolate.(Take that HOWEVER you like ...LOL and to me, a tatto might as well be put on the Sistene chapel ceiling if you're going to do that.

Peircings:
I think we already covered the Hoop Earrings and their aphrodesiac effect on another thread so other than nice earrings, Peircings I dont care for at all.
Belly rings are FOR SHOWING..and let me tell you...some bellies...should NOT be shown! LOL

Tongue rings started for one reason ONLY, and any man that says they dont make him think of that one thing when he sees it...well, I dont wanna say he's a liar...but.....

Peircing other parts of your body? Is just plain stupid...not to mention unhealthy. IMHO

MY kids?
No lipstick till 12, and then lip gloss only (for the girls ...LOL)
Makeup? Nope. not till 18
Multiple ear peircings? Nope.
Shaving legs? Not till 15.
and Dating? absolutely not till 18.

When my daughter turned 18, I took her to the Neiman Marcus for a skin care and Glamour session at the Bobbi Brown Section. and we got ALL of her makeup at that time. $500 later...she is so happy I had her wait and thanked me. ..and still does. She'll be 20 this year.

Thanks for all the feedback folks, I really appreciate it.

I have no idea why she wants this, other then her friend wanted to get one (and now can't). I think it is more of a status thing; I doubt many of the girls in her grade have one. My daughter wants SO MUCH to be accepted and cool. She is down on herself about her looks, which is a shame because she is really pretty. I Dn't know why she thinks that way.

Luckily some of the places in NH won't do it on kids younger then 15. I'm going to call her doctor too and get her input.

I like the idea of it being a reward for better grades, which my daughter really needs to improve on!!

Piercings; WTF??? My parents never had to deal with this crap!

Just out of curiousity...has she seen "Mean Girls". The movie has a "Great" message.

quote:

Originally posted by bikejon:
I like the idea of it being a reward for better grades, which my daughter really needs to improve on!!

My parents promised me a jetski if I got strait A's for a year, and guess what....I gave up on it, it really wasn't worth it to me =) This very possibly could happen with the belly ring too...

Can I give a woman's perspective here? OK. There are things that you do to fit in like designer jeans, coloring hair, a LITTLE makeup, shaving legs that I see as normal and harmless. Then there are things that you do to stand out and aside from a piercing or two in the ears, most piercings are to stand out and have some sexual suggestiveness to them. Your daughter may not even intend it to be sexual, but I dont need to remind you of the imaginative nature of young boys, and some grown men-not to mention any names(Paulj)
Additionally, I had a girlfriend who was a nurse that i worked with who got a belly button piercing and ended up with cellulitis across her abdomen. (Infection in the tissues surrounding the piercing site) This was painful and embarrasing especially considered she had to have it treated by the really stuffy docs that we worked with. Honestly, there are alot of things that I would let my daughter do to look her best (the above mentioned) but this is not one of them.

Just buy her some expensive shoes and call it a day.

LOL...anyone who knows me..KNOWS i AM VERY imaginative....LOL

And I dont have ANY problem whatsoever with a "WOMAN" doing those things....my gf has (actually had, LOL) a belly ring till the recent operation.

But, a little girl? No way...they dont even know what they dont know at that age...and as a "DAD" I'm not about to "let" my kids do things and make decisions that they are not ready to make (and may regret)...no matter how mature they seem. Those are things that will not be made worse by waiting until they are 18.

The way some girls (and to a lesser extent, boys) if everyone was cutting off their pinky toes cause it was cool to have point feet they'd all be making appointments.

IMHO.

You know what's funny is that I am a very liberal person. But when it comes to my daughter, I have this weird conservative streak. She's only five right now, so she doesn't even know it yet. but she asked me the other day what age she can drive and I said when she's 25. And she asked me how old girls have to be when they get boyfriends and I said she could have a boyfriend after she gets her master's degree.

I know I won't keep THAT rigid of rules when she gets older, but I figure if we are at the beginning stages of negotiation I may as well start high.

I also tell her I'm 22 when she asks how old I am, just in case other people ask her.

GOOD JOB MOM!!! Now you got it...tha's EXACTLY what to do!!! Yayyyy!!
We gotta protect our kids from themselve and all crap that comes from other kids that have CRAPPY parents!

22 huh? LOL