I could totally be 22. I got carded for buying smokes the other day(for my mother-I dont smoke).

Ok paulj I have a question for ya, If it were a son would you make them wait til they wer 18 to date? My ex and I are haveing this debate he says the boys can date when they are 16 and our daughter 18. I don't think so! It has to be equal all around. He won't even let me put a 2 peice swim suit on her, (she's 18 months) It's a little rediculous if ya ask me! Men are so funny when it come to their little girls! And by the way, there's nothing wrong with a few tats, I have my babies names on my ankle and I happen to like them!

I know you directed this question to paulj, but I hope you dont mind if I answer. Yes-I would make a boy wait--you dont need him getting his girlfriend knocked up either. That said, a boy in that predicament has a lot more options for their future than a girl. Not fair-but true.

As for the two piece, I bought my daughter a tankini. It's two peices that basically come together and cover everything anyway. That's as close as she'll get to a bikini. Not because she wouldnt' look cute in one, but because I dont want to have to worry about pervs at the beach watching her while she plays. And if you dont think they are out there, check out "To catch a Preditor."

And no, there is nothing wrong with tattoos if you are a grown woman. I have one myself.

I agree with the perv thing Missabb, oh so disgusting but totaly true, they are out there. But my daughter goes as far as the back yard, or my friends back yards, and nowhere else. Having said that though this will prob be the last year I buy her one cause in the next few years it will prob go beyond the back yard.

As far as the dating that is also true I agree. My ex just tends to think that since they can't get pregnant they can date whenever they want. Not so much in my house.

As for the real reason this thread started, I wouldn't let her get the peircing. Not so much because I think it would be lead to other things, but where do you draw the line? What if next time she wants her eyebrow peirced? (which I also had done at one point and now have a very noticable scar to show for it) And as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't want my daughters belly showing, so why have the peircing if no one will see it?

quote:

Originally posted by 4strong:
As for the real reason this thread started, I wouldn't let her get the peircing. Not so much because I think it would be lead to other things, but where do you draw the line? What if next time she wants her eyebrow peirced? (which I also had done at one point and now have a very noticable scar to show for it) And as far as I'm concerned I wouldn't want my daughters belly showing, so why have the peircing if no one will see it?

Exactly 4strong...I agree...and in answer to your questions...I HAVE a nearly 17 year old son,...very handsome according to reports from his older sisters' friends... and guitar player in a band to boot.

So, regarding waiting till he's 18 to date? YOU BET YOUR A$$!!

Same rule applies for him...I dont want no underaged rugrat pregnant under my roof cause my son was too stupid to keep it in his pants! It takes two to "screw up" (no pun intended)and I dont want my kids to be Any of them.

And because he's never been allowed to date ...AND homeschooled his whole life..he doesnt miss it...LOL ....uhm I think.

Wow Paulj I must say I am impressed. Not many parents care enough to be so strict with their children. I'n fact I wish mine had abeen a little more strict, then maybe I would haven't been MARRIED at 18. Oh well, they always hated my ex, and I never listened. But I have three beautiful babies that I love and adore so I wouldn't change it!

I have been told I am irresposible parent because my two year old has a mohawk,(which he calls his "hawk" so cute ) but in reality for being only 24 I am pretty old fashioned when it comes to my children, they are/will be in a private christian school, there will be no tats or piercings. My Dad always told me if I got something pierced he would rip it out, same goes for my children!

Woooo! AMEN SISTER! Preach it! LOL

So did you let her get the peircing?

Hey, from a young girls perspective, i just wanted to say, YESS alot of girls get them to show off to the boys (well actualy probably all) BUT if you know your daughter, and have raised her to be a good smart girl, i see no problem in it. I got mine done a 1.5yrs ago, for no reason other than all my friends were going away and we wanted to do something to remmeber highschool and being young. Not to impress anyone, but to remember each other, I have had comments from guys like "ohh i didnt know you had that, thats hot'..thats just the way guys are (as im sure you all know, lol) But it doesnt mean im a **** or anything, and im sure your daughter is not either (i dont know whats hot about a belly button anyway).
Saying that, yes 13 is young, but if she really wants it, i dont really see a problem with it, IF she takes care of it. My advice, dont let her get it before summer, because you arnt suppost to go swimming, it will get verrry infected. (im from canada, so i got mine done in sept, and i had till next june before it was nice enough to go swimming..it'd prob be harder if you lived down south)..also you will get a letter from the peircing place, make sure you follow the rules, i majorly suggest bedatine (the stuff they use for surgeries)...2 times a day, and salt water in a cup and just lay there...for at least a month..and then for at least 2mths after, use bactine or peroxide bi-daily..and even after that months, years after, it can still get infected, I have had many friends whos body has rejected them (grosss) and i had to buy an expensive real gold one because mine wouldnt heal around any other one.
Tell her all that, make sure shes aware and ok with all of that, and its obviosuly your final decision..but she'l most likely get one enventually..and to save you from a long time of angry teen girl u mineswell just ok it and go with her (pick the place so u know its clean and not just cheap..which is what most ppl pick it for)
Good Luck, i hope you can use some of that, lol

Ok, Kimmies..assuming that 87 in your name is your birth year...you are the same age as my oldest daughter. If you were to ask my oldest daughter the same question, she would answer the same way I did below.

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:

But, a little girl? No way...they dont even know what they dont know at that age...and as a "DAD" I'm not about to "let" my kids do things and make decisions that they are not ready to make (and may regret)...no matter how mature they seem. Those are things that will not be made worse by waiting until they are 18.The way some girls (and to a lesser extent, boys) if everyone was cutting off their pinky toes cause it was cool to have pointed feet they'd all be making appointments.

IMHO.

In all likelihood, (assuming I am correct about your age, and I KNOW ...I could be wrong) Your opions most likely will have GREATLY changed by
25...moreso by 30 and most definitely by 35.

I'm fairly certain that "IF" your children at teens during those later years for you...You may definitely take a different view ...and thus make different decisions.

JMHO. Yeah...I know....I'm old. But, I've thought this way my whole life...it's not about to change now.

Yes Im 19. Maybe your right, when my kids are teens im sure my tone will change, but a belly peircing..that is not a big deal. When i got mine my friends and i called it "the day-o-pain"..one of us got second holes in her ears,3 of us got our bellys peirced and 3 got TATTOOS. Now tattoos THAT is a big deal, very permanent, a pericing..well they can be taken out, a belly ring, they are hidden 90% of the time (in Canada anyway).
I did say yes 13 is young, i never was interested in that at 13, but i also know it probably wouldnt be worth getting into a whole big fight over, it can be taken out, make HER pay for it, and its up to her to take care of it. Now if she wated a tattoo..or even a facial peircing then it may be worth a fight, but something as small as a belly ring, i dont think its a big deal.
When i got mine done i was 17, i had 18mth olds, and i still asked my dads permission, lol.
Paul all people are different, your daughter may be one of the rare ones who always makes the best choices, but most teens need ways to express themselfs, sometimes not in the smartest of ways, we need to make mistakes, iam a prety smart person, i generaly make good decisions (obviously i had kids at 16 i havent always made the best ones, but for the most part i have) but the point is yah iam stil a teen, i know how they think, 13 was a while ago for me, but forwhatever reason she wants it, if it would boost her confidence, be 'cool' or just to have something to play with when shes bored..it could be alot worse.
Theres no way to tell what the future brings, and yes it is our jobs as parents to protect our kids, but one of my favourite saying is:
"if you close the doors on your kids, they'l jsut get out thru a window"..and that is VERY true, saying no to things that arnt life threatning (like dating, going out, or a peircing)..they'l find a way to rebel, 99% of normal kids..paul your daughter may be the 1% who wont. The world is a scary place, and as easy as it would be to keep our kids in side safe forever, it just isnt the way the world works, thats no life, kids need to go out, experiance things, make mistakes (some they may regret), and awfule accidents do happen (i know that first hand) but theres no way to predict, you just have to teach them right from wrong, and hope they make good decisions and send them out knowing theres a person they can come to when they do do things they regret.

I have to agree with Paul here. I waited til I was 18 to get a tattoo. Mainly because my mother told me that I could do whatever I wanted when I turned 18. Anyways, I rushed out and got a tattoo as soon as I turned 18 which I thought was SO cool. SO, now at 30, I hate it. I wish I could afford to have it removed. Why? Because it no longer represents who I am. Who you are at 18 or 20 or even 25 is not the same person you will be later in life. I would have answered the same as Kimmie at 20 but now think that it IS a big deal to have a piercing. I think it's easy to say that it doesn't mean anything. But just because you think it shouldn't mean anything doesn't mean that's the way it's interpreted in real life. Everything you wear, everything you do to your body says something to people about who you are and a child of 13 or even 17 should have some supervision about what she "says" to the world.

I also agree with Paul. It may start with a harmless (not in my opion though) belly ring but it will evolve into other things. When I was 19 I had a baby and another on the way, I was the same way, thinking as long as they are good kids, there is nothing wrong with them "expressing themselves." Well I am now the mature age of 24 and my views have changed! No child of mine will have anything peirced or tattooed while they live in my house. As far as it being a big argument, if you have good communication with your child and they respect that you are the parent, it won't be a big argument. They may pout for awhile, but they get over it. Just my opion here, but if you are giving into things just to avoid an argument that's not responsible parenting...

quote:

Originally posted by 4strong:
Just my opion here, but if you are giving into things just to avoid an argument that's not responsible parenting...

Couldnt have said it better myself...but the fact that I'm a man, would not help... at least I think...so I'm glad one of you ladies said it.

Kimmie, what you DON'T KNOW is that since my children were little, I have ALWAYS communicated with them, been honest with them, tried my best to be their for them, and said I'm sorry when I couldnt be.

They live with me full time and have come to trust my judgement. I'm EXTREMELY fair...but firm...and they know this. So, although they may not agree at first, they know that if I counter something they are for, then it's for a good reason.

Remember, if you have a good parent...only God is more on your side than them.

Yah I guess it really does depend on your parenting techniques and beliefs. My aunt let my cousin get tattos at 14yrs old, my friend and her mom have smoked together since grade 10, i dont necessairly think its right, but it doesnt make it wrong..its just different and no one can really say anything about it, because its not their lifes (oh & my cousin hates the tatoos now and my friend wants to quit smoking,lol)
Its just another one of those things that everyone feels different about and only you know if its right for you. So to the guy who originaly asked, if you think your daughter can handle the work and attention that comes with it in a responsible way, then let her, if not, say no, she will get over it.
Paul, yah communication is verrry important, uh i'd hope you'd be honest with your kids since day one, theres really no use in lying, Im as honest as a mom can be too 3yr olds, and as they grow and understand more, i'l be more open and honest, i want them to be confident open people, and honesty is the key to that.
I have a good dad, hes always on my side, and i plan to always be on my kids sides too.