Anyone nearby?

I'm in Richmond, VA. I would really like to talk to some single parents that have gone thru custody and visitation issues. I have raised my daughter by myself in VA for the past 5 years. Her father who lives in NJ just got married a few months ago and is now wanting primary physical custody. Just becuase he is married shouldn't give him the right to take me to court to try and get her. I would REALLY like to talk to single parents who have gone thru what im going thru. Thank you,

Hi Marianoun,

I have a little bit of experience - my ex lived in MS until a few years ago when he moved up here. Unless he can show you unfit, he can not get custody. You are the primary caregiver and it's in the best interest of your daughter to keep her life as it has been, as long as it's been stable. I went through this after my daughter's dad got remarried too...it turned out to be a show for his new wife who thought she wanted to raise my child.

How old was your daughter when her dad got remarried? My daughter's dad got married last November, we settled out of court in December and now they are taking me back to court. The reason why we had to go to court was to adjust visitation. SHe is now in kindergarten and can not go up every other weekend to NJ. It dosn't make sense. I was never married. My daughter has always lived in VA with me. When you went to court did you have someone interview your daughter and stuff? Im not sure of what i should do? What age will a judge ask the child? Lawyer says one thing, books say something else and my friends tell me not to worry. Craziness. I would just like to talk to someone who has gone thru it, ya know.

The last time we went to court, she was only 5. The judge did not interview her at that time, but it may have been the judge's decision. Her dad remarried when she was 8 (she's almost 11). I still think you're safe...he'll have to show that she's not being taken care of/abused or some other extreme behavior on your part. Judge's really don't like to remove children from the environment that they're used to.