Hello everyone,
I'm new to the website need some one to talk to that might be going through what I'm going through. I'm 20 years old have a 2 year old daughter and I'm going through a custody case for my daughter because her father doesn't want to pay child support, so he would rather take her from me than to help me, isn't that CRAZY! I go to trial 11/19, I don't have too long to go. I'm soo scared of loosing her, right now we're going through mediation but it's not helping. I'm so frustrated. He kicked us out in April and hasn't paid me one single dime since then and he wants to take her.

Hey Trisha,

I don't know all the legal requirements in Maryland but I do know that in North Carolina they award custody based on the best interests of the child. If you are better suited to have custody and he has not been willing to support the child since he kicked you out, I would say that you had a pretty good case. I would suggest looking on the internet (although it can't replace legal advice by a lawyer) to see how you can better educate yourself on the process of awarding custody in Maryland.

I also am preparing to start the process of filing for custody (although I would prefer his rights to be terminated). I am not worried about losing them as he has not been around in the last six years but it is still a stressful situation regardless.

Sincerely,
Jeanne

in order for him to get custody of your child, he would have to totally prove that you are an unfit mother. that would mean, using drugs, child abuse etc. the court might give visiation rights and set a formal agreement up on that, they will probaly also set up child support.

I think that most states issue custody based on the best interest of the child. They should also set up child support and in VA they have an automatic wage garnishment policy. Check into it.

Hi Hailey's mom,
I went through a custody battle that went on and on for four years. I spent over $10,000 in court costs and legal fees. Nothing changed dramatically accept that I had to be willing to give more visitation. It ended up not mattering at all because when my daughter turned 8 years old, he stopped seeing her altogether. My daughter is now 12 years old. He sees her about twice a year. I highly recommend that when you go to court that you don't bring money into the picture...LET THE DAD DO THAT. He will show the judge where his mind is set. You must present that you are a good provider, drug free and are best suited to raise your daughter OVER HIM. Everything you bring up you need to present to the judge that your concerns are with your daughter...not you...not money. Stay calm. It is the scariest thing I ever went through. I know how you feel but the last thing you want to do is come off unreasonable and that you want the dad out of the picture. That is a huge NO NO. I hope that is not what you are doing anyway....after all he is her dad. However, and I don't know you....this is all assuming you are a good mom and that you can provide a safe environment to raise her in. A judge doesn't like to change a child's life and uproot without CRYSTAL CLEAR EVIDENCE that the child is better off somewhere else. This is just based on my own opinion and personal experience. I don't know your laws in Maryland, but it sounds like he will have a pretty tough time. Keep us posted.

In Vermont where I'm from originally, parents cannot share joint custody unless both agree. In my case, I refused joint custody so that left full custody to either me or him. Obviously, as the child's mother and being not even close to unfit the judge awarded me full custody and my ex visitation rights. My point is that every state is different, but I highly doubt he can TAKE her from you. Unless you were an abusive, neglegent parent most judges see the mother as being the most beneficial parent for the child to be with. And especially if he hasn't been helping you or anything...he'll look like a real a$$ in court.

Try not to stress, try not to get angry in court...don't point fingers-most of the time, the other party will end up 'hanging themselves' so to speak. My ex has done it numerous times. I just try to stay composed and collected, not get angry when he tries to make me angry in front of the judge...most judges can see right through idiots like your ex.

Thanks for all of the advise, I'm sure the judge won't take her from me. I don't use drugs, don't drink, don't beat her, I'm just nervous because I don't know what he has up his sleeve. The main thing I need to work on is staying CALM. I have no control over my temper when it comes to him. Here in Maryland they award custody to the parent that is in Hailey's best intrest. I'm worried becuase at his house she has her own room and in my house she sleeps in my room but she has her own crib, so that has me worried. THINKER your right when I go into court the focus and my concerns need to be what's in Haileys best intrest not me. Tinkerbell your right he is going to look like an a$$ in court because he hasn't given no cash in 6 months. He's bought 3 packs of diapers and 2 pair of shoes. Your know when he put me out I took Hailey with me, you know he wouldn't allow me to have any of her toys or clothes that him and his family bought. So during the summer he bought her 3 outfits for the entire summer. I had to buy everthing new. I was ok with that because it was for her and she needed it but this is the man that "WANTS" custody but can't support her. What a joke! Your exactally right he's going to try to push my buttons in front of the judge to make me look unfit because of my attitude. We were together for 3 years so he know what to say and do. Thanks everyone for you advise and support.

Hey everyone! my mother in law is fighting me for custody my two children. You see we never got along in the beginning and when my kids were born she only wanted to spend time with them when she felt like it. She favors my daughter over my son. She's always going around saying how much she loves them and how she would do anything for them. But yet, when my daughter was in the hospital she would drop everything to be there for her. When my son was in the hospital. She told me to call her and let her know what the doctor said. Both my kids have the same father. I don't treat them differently, why does she??? If anyone could tell me why, that will be very helpful.
Jennifer

Hey everyone. Im going through the whole court battle right now and the father has tried everything in the book to say that Im unfit mother. The only that matters in court is if there acutally proof that your an unfit parent and since he could he prove it he has pulled the DNA crap saying that the kids arent his. The judge asked him why after 2 years he thinks his son isnt his. The judge knows that its a just a way for his to get out of paying child support but he stil had to order, who are going on 30 days and he still hasnt paid for the DNA test so I will be back at the court house monday to file more paper work, Im doing the whole court battle by myself no lawyers for me. About the child sleeping in the same room as you-both of my kids sleep in the same room as me-they have there own beds-the judge didnt even look at because all that matters is that are in a good home with a good parent, being taking care of and have a roof over there head and food in there belly. The father will look bad in the judges eyes when it comes to how many times he has seen the child and how much money he has giving you. I grow up and the courts from my parents so I have pretty good knowledge of the what happens.

I put he could prove it, I meant he couldnt prove it there is nothing to prove. When you do go into court keep your cool because if you dont it will be very bad the judge could see that has as being harmful to the child

Ok so I went to court Friday, this was just a temp. hearing untill the final trial in Jan. So the master gave us joint custody and me $170.00 a month in child support. We have to share our time with her, 4 days on 3 days off I thought that it should've been more but every little bit helps. I wanted to appeal but I don't think I'm going to. I was proud of my self I didn't loose my cool at all.

Good going, trisha!

You are doing great, now you know what you have to work with.And not losing your cool, well that's wonderful. I probably would have lost it.

Keep your strength!

Peace
Robin

Wtg Glad You Stayed Calm