My son just turned 3 and is very limited in the words he can say. Since he was two i have been concerned but people would tell me how their kids began speaking over nite, but now i am very worried. He is currently seeing a speech therapist that is funded by the state. I graduated from college in december, i have put off finding a job, because this is more important and i would not have time for both. Also like subsidized daycare i had while attending college and the speech therapy funded by the state would be terminated. You cant have both, which is extremely frustrating. Speech therapy is not cheap it costs $100 an hr. It really is frustrating for every1 involved, especially me and my son. He is very brite, he knows what he wants to say he just doesnt know how to say it. He says a few words, what he cant say he'll point to and when he gets really frustrated cause he cannot be understood he'll start to scream hit throw things. Even when he was in daycare the teacher would talk to me about his lashing out cause he cant communicate like other kids his age. Its so discouraging/disheaartening i want so badly to be able to communicate with my son.

Its so irritating and depresses me greatly when people say "Congrads on graduating, whats ur major? have u found a job yet?" I just wanna tell them none of ur business. They r just asking to b nosy and dont understand why I not working yet. I feel i have to explain why every time, so i dont look like a total loser, "my son doesnt speak very well & i need to concentrate on that" & I shouldnt have to explain. And it really makes me feel dumb when people ask me if i am going back for my masters and them they have the nerve to ask me why not? I know its more money career wise, but tutition, stress, sanity, son, wise i am done w/school and never going back! Even if i wanted to i couldnt,when it comes to my 2.2 gpa i am extremly proud of that, i could care less and i a, not bent outta shape at all that i didnt achieve a 3.0.

Lastly, potty training is not going very well, yes i have heard boys take a little longer and it takes longer if they are forced, but with his speech and his still wearing diapers i feel horrible, like i am not doing a very good job as a mom. What am i doing wrong? All of december he would tell me he had to go & he went, 1 & 2, then he just stopped, nothing tramatic happened in his life, i cannot figure what happened, why he stopped. Whenever i ask him, sit him down he just sits on his little toilet and doesnt go. I am totaly open to more suggestions/experiences, thanks

My son was three when we started potty training. He didn't take to it very well either. Took all of about six months to potty train him. Frustrated me! I finally resorted in bribary. For each time he went pee he got to choose something out of a treat bag. I went to the dollar store and bought cars, and other things that just thrilled him. Worked pretty well.

Don't know what to tell you about speaking. Sounds like you've got the right approach, devoting your attention to him. At some point it's got to pay off.

Hey,

My son didn't start talking until late, and he was not potty trained at 4yo. I remember feeling pretty bad at the time, and the official diagnosis from the school system was that his mother and I weren't playing with him right. Seeing as how we weren't exactly the optimal family (teen parents), I believed them, but it was frustrating because the "right" ways they told us to play with him were the exact ways we'd been playing with him since birth.

When my sister's son had the same troubles, she had him evaluated and the diagnosis was different. She's the political right's epitome of a parent, so incorrect playing wasn't even considered for her and they instead gave the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism). My son was re-evaluated and received a similiar diagnosis, and honestly these diagnoses have begun to explain an awful lot about the male side of my family tree. It's not such a bad diagnosis really...there's some good things that balance out the communication issues...

Hopefully some of my experiences were useful to you; I'm sure that every kid is different. Have you read anything by Thomas Sowell? He writes about children that learn to talk late, but often grow into exceptionally intelligent and successful adults. I found some discussion of his books at http://www.latetalking.org/ if you're interested.

Lastly, I think you may be overreacting to people's questions about your graduation and future plans. It's a pretty common thing to ask when you learn someone finished school; they may think it's rude *not* to ask about it. You've got a lot on your mind, and it may be causing you to see attacks where they weren't intended.

Also, if you get a job they might provide health insurance that's much better than anything the state would provide. I know that was the case for me. It can't hurt to see what's out there anyway...

Later,
Bobby

wow! I just wanna give you a hug. Congrats on graduating!!!!!!
As for potty training my son is 3 he will be 4 in July. we had a hard time he would go and like your son he stoped for no reason. So I told him if he could go on the potty like a big kid he can get a treat. for everytime he made it to the potty he got a dollar and was able to go to the dollar store the end of ever week and depending on how many time got topick out that many treats.... this worked.... he also made a big deal of it when he went jumping up and down and saying how proud I was of him.
I am not sure what to tell you about the talking situation my son doesnt shut up.....but i was a nanny for a child with the same kind of issue. He would cry and get up set and speak baby talk.... this was mostly because he didnt have a mom and his dad never really talked to him. Do you talk to him as if he were a baby or as if he were a child?? I talk to my son as if he were a child and he and I can have a full conversation....good luck

I just want to say how rediculous it is to me that society has forced us to believe if our children aren't walking, talking, and writing at the same age there is something wrong with them. children do things at different paces. It doesn't make someone a better or worse parent if there child is the first one or the last one on the block to say there ABC's. My son is three months old but I consider myself an experienced judge with 6 brothers and sisters. Not one of them did anything the same. you couldn't understand a word one of my sisters said till she was 5 years old. That is not an exaggeration. She was 5. One of my other sisters was talking in completely formed sentences at barely 2. Same lifestyle different kids. I'm sure your a great mom and your doing a great job with your son. He is just doing things at his own pace.
I do have a little home trick we used on my brothers for potty training. We put cherrios in the toilet.Then they would aim for the cherrios. It was always a game they loved it. I plan to do the same with my son.
I do want to say congrats on graduating. I'm trying to finish my degree now and its not an easy thing to do, especially as a single parent. So again a big conratulations from me.

I don't know if you have though of this or not, but have you gotten your son's hearing checked out. Could it maybe have something to do with the fact that he can't hear? That ties in big with speech and it may have something in relation. It's just a thought. You are doing the right thing by hiring a speech therapist. I would also do little things at home to help him too. Flash cards are great, sounding out words, repeating things over and over again and letting him see you form the words with your mouth and try it himself may help. I'm no expert though and I'm sure that the therapist has some better ideas.
Boys are indeed harder to potty train, but I have a couple of secrets that I will share with you. I work at a daycare and I happen to work with 2 year olds that are potty training and I have picked up a few tricks from my job and my family. First of all, put cheerios in the toilet and give him something to aim at, it turns into a game and kids, especially boys, love this game to pieces. This also teaches him to aim it into the toilet, little boys have a very hard time with this. The idea of a reward system is great. He will be more encouraged to do it if he knows he will get something for it. Also, take away his baby potty. Let him use the big potty with a child seat on it, he will be more excited if he can use the same potty as you, get him a stool that you keep in the bathroom for going pee. Also, don't put him in pull-ups. You may be telling him they are big kid diapers, or something like that, like most parents do, but a diaper is a diaper no matter how you look at it. Pull-ups obsorbe just like a regular diaper and it doesn't make the kids want to go to the potty because they don't have to. Leave him in his clothes, because wet underwear is very uncomfortable. If you need to take it a step further, you can do what my aunt told me to do with my son. Brace yourself for this one...she said to put him in satin panties. I know they are for girls, but satin is very uncomfortabel when it is wet and he will not want to be wet if he is wearing them.
I know this is long, but I hope that I helped at least a little bit. Please don't stress, you are a great mom because you love your child and he is your firts priority. Just take everything one day at a time and know that you are not alone. Take care!

-Lyndsie

Asayo,
I have to agree with the above posts. You are doing fine with your boy. First parents especially can have an extra difficult time. Experiance is the best teacher. ALL my kids went through a faze where they were going potty then out of the blue quit. It was fun at first but now the newness is worn off. I agree to put him in regular pants, except at sleeping time. Let him know when you put underwear on him that he must go to in the pot, then remind him through out the day. My daughter, last child of 6, is basically potty trained. She knows what to do but wears a diaper at night. If I don't get the diaper off of her when she first wakes up she will go in it, but when I take it off of her she goes in the pot. She knows the difference and your boy probably does too.
As for the speach it is true that all kids speak at their own pace, but there are times when it is beyond that. What does the therapist say? I had 2 that needed speach. From what I understand it is more how they pronounce the words and not how many they speak. The therapist should have exercises that you can do at home with him. If she is not giving you home work and telling you how to help him, I would consider finding some who will.
Please try not to worry to much about how things are being done. I am sure you are doing the best that you can. Keep in mind that potty training and a little speach trouble is not going to scar your son for life. He probably won't even remember most of it. You two will get through this and be just fine. That was a difficult thing for me to understand with my first child. I was so afraid of scaring him for life because he was not potty trained at a particular age, or did not talk at this age, basically following what all the other kids were suppose to be doing. It's a bunch of crock, you and he will be fine.
God bless.