Has n/e 1 here ever had one? if yes how do u feel about it now? ( regretful , hurt, angry, relieved etc ) if no would you ever ,,,,why or why not?

I'm a little scared to touch this as it is such a controversial topic... but I'm just going to give you my honest answer and my reasons and so be it.

Yes, I had one when I was 17. Why? Not because I wanted it but because, basically, I was too scared to have my parents find out I was pregnant... having ***.... ANd they really despised my boyfriend.

I don't know that I regret it nor am I happy about it. I think of what would be now and then. Seems like a lifetime ago to me. I was young, on drugs, etc. My life would be completely different now that's for sure. Heck, I'd have a 20 yr old son/daughter. I do wonder if I'd have had a boy or a girl. I think that was my chance to have a boy and I have 3 girls now probably because I ruined that with what I did. My feeling down deep is that the child that would have been born probably would have had a rough medical life had it been given a chance, if the pregnancy survived.... I was doing cocaine and pot and mesculine, etc.

How's that for honesty?

I think my feelings at the time aren't worth mentioning, I wasn't happy but in all honesty I wasn't in a place where anything I felt at the time seems real to me now. It was a messed up teen's perspective, none of it would even make sense to me now.

My parents were great, but older and the topic of *** was not an open one. I am doing my best to be sure that my children will feel safe in telling me whatever they are struggling with. For me, that in itself is the saddest part of the whole situation and I don't want that for my girls. I know my parents didn't mean for it to be that way, they had no idea and still don't, they never will. I wouldn't tell them today if they were alive and/or well healthwise. They wouldn't have been able to get past the fact that I'd had ***, nevermind I was pregnant and they'd have to face that and their friends/family.... etc.

Everybody I know who has had an abortion went out & got pregnant again almost right away. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like now if I had had an abortion. But when I was pregnant, it never even crossed my mind as an option. I guess I thought it was my one and only chance to have a baby. I wanted a baby. However, if I knew then what I know now, I would have been more careful about birth control and chosen not to have kids at all. (That was my plan in high school--to never have kids & never get married). People around me made it seem so easy and great. Now I know misery loves company. Not that I am miserable now, but I had a lot going for me back then that I couldn't see because I had such low self-esteem.

I should add that I would never have one, nor would I have at any time in my mature life.

An opinion from a man's point of view.

Situation:
We had just gotten seperated a week or two prior. I was 95% positive she was messing around. She told me she was pregnant and was thinking about getting an abortion. I told her it was her choice but if she believed it was mine I was totally against it. If she didn't think it was mine then that was between her and the possible father. I agreed to go with her for the procedure and she did go ahead with it. I can't say how it has affected her but I know I will never forget about it. That could have possibly been my kid and now I will never know.

I just wanted to make it known that it affects both parties involved, more so the woman I am sure but anyone considering that option please take the man's feeling into consideration before making your decision.

I've never had an abortion but have consider w/my nine week old daughter when I found out I was eight wks pregnate. I cried and went thru a lot of emotional stress over it. I decded not b/c I looked at my son and know that I could not end any baby's life. It's just not in me personal to do this. I don't think badly of any woman that has had one. I know plenty of woman and girls that have and know that they had thier reasons.

I was faced twice in my life to have an abortions and knew that for me I could not go thru w/it and look at my two kids and yes there are times that I get tired to raising them on my own but love them so much and know that I would have made a mistake in doing this.

This is Y I never had an abortion but I'm glad it's an option for women that want it done. It's our body we should be able to decdied what we want to do w/it.

SPIRIT

hey there...man this is a hard topic to talk about. i have to agree with one of the other responses...everyone that i nkow that has had one got pregnant right after having it done...including myself. i was invilved with a guy that i met at a club...i was just having fun with him and i ended up pregnant. there was NO WAY that my parents would have accepted the fact that i did get pregnant...damn i couldnt even accept it...i guess you could say that i was in denial...but i set up the apt and had the abortion done and i have no regrets. it was actually the best thing that i could of done...because only days after i had the abortion i got a call from this guys girlfriend that he had been with for 2 years and she was about to give birth to their child in 2 months... so i was the other woman...

and 3 months after i had the abortion i got pregnant with my beautiful son....he is the absolute best thing that ever happened to me and if i didnt have the abortion then i would of never had my son!

i have to say that it is your decision and yours only...in my situation, i felt i made the right situation all the way!

I didn't get pregnant again until my husband at the time, and I planned it. I know one person that did become pregnant again soon after (within a few years), but otherwise that's not the case within the people I know.

Two days ago i found out that I was pregnant AGAIN,,,it's so funny to me becasue I always read others posts about how they are pregnant again and loe and behold ,,here i go ,,,,when i 1st ask the question about abortion i did'nt know i was pregnant had'nt even consisdered it actually, i asked that based on a topic my coworkers and i were having..But i took 4 test that says I am,,,,whew man I tell ya it was the furthest thing from my mind,,,i'm not sure what i want to do and im sure after reading this some people will disagree with what im considering ,,but 90% chance im not going to have it for variuos resaon, i cried for two hours str8 just thinking about it ,,the father SAYS he will support whatever i decide but is in favor of an abortion also,,,i already have one absentee father i certainly cant deal w/ two ....he takes good care of his daughter but taylor's dad taught me better than to expect the same,,,the only thing that is guaranteed is what I can do for the baby ...he says he would be there now but what about months and years down the line ,,,who's to say,,,ya know. I'm not so much concerned about me and him that's not that big a factor because were not that serious any way, we are ,,,...hmm more than jJUST friends but not qiute an item ,,,,i'm just expressing myself i guess I'm scared too.

Neak - I'm so sorry to hear that you have this decision upon your shoulders. I understand your reasoning and like the others, feel it is a personal choice. Even if you hear the stories of others, you must do what is right for you. Be careful that you don't do something you will regret or that will emotionally break you.

Just a thought... Have you thought about adoption? There are Many couples that would love to have a child but cannot. Just to remind you that there are more than two options..

Hugs and prayers to you!

I am a mother of two children with different fathers.

It is not always a tea party but both children are enlightening, rewarding, beautiful.

I worried and still worry a little that people may pass judgement in regards to my past decisions in life. I am at peace and have come to terms with past decisions. We may not be the traditional family, my son, daughter and I but - We are very happy.

And in reference to the responsibility, effort, and energy necessary, I believe people become accustomed to what they must do. Times are exhausting but I manage.

Thinking of you~~~

Neak, I know what kind of position that is. I had two - two different reasons.

Between my two children I became pregnant on the pill. - I know a lot of people say, Yeah Right! The pregnancy was a dangerous one for me and baby because of the pill thing. There were questions about who if either of us would make it through a pregnancy, so I opted for an abortion. This was at the hieght of the pro life movement, and it was horrible! I had one lady got in my face, and I asked her if she would raise my 1 yr old if I died giving birth. It really made me mad! She had no business judging anyone! whoa. . . My Dr put me on a stronger pill and three mos later I was pregnant with my second. I thought - boy someone really wants me to have a baby right now. Even when I was on bed rest from blood loss and family was urging me to end the pregnancy, I would not budge. I bled through the whole pregnancy. Not spotting either. That scared me, and I did not want another child for fear of what might happen to him/her. I call my second my miracle baby because the Dr's gave him a 60-75% change to have brain damage. He is a perfectly normal 15 yr old.

The second abortion was with my husband of 15 yrs. He absolutly did not want a child, I was afraid of health issues, and seeing how he NEVER saw or cared for the child he had was enough for me to decide that this child would not have what it needed. Mostly though was the health stuff. My sis has 4 kids - all almost died their first year for one reason or another. Not a risk I was willing to take.

Emotionally I am OK with my decisions. I had my reasons, and those reasons have not changed. I love my kids with all my heart, but I will never have anymore. I'm patiently waiting for grandkids to spoil.

I agree that this is very personal. Each woman has to examine her situation, and no I don't think that this should be a form of birth control. But there are too many kids that have horrible lives, and there are too many parents who don't want to and should not be parents.

I personally don't understand the adoption option. I could not carry a child for nine months and walk away. I don't understand the women that can. That I think would be more emotionally scaring for me. Every child - that particular age - that I saw would make me wonder. That would be a lifetime of torture for me. Maybe I'm just selfish.

Neak, are you sure 4 tests is enough?

Seriously, isn't it ironic how things happen like this, posting this topic and then bam, hit with lots of positive test results. Just know you are supported in whatever decision you make as I'm sure it will be the right one for you and your family.

Another guy's perspective..
Four years ago when my girlfriend of about one week got pregnant, she told me she wanted an abortion. She said she didn't want a raise a baby alone. Granted, I was thirteen and the thought of having a kid terrified me, but I told her that, although it was her decision, I was against the abortion. I told her I'd help her out any way I could. She finally agreed to keep the baby. I suppose the reason I was so deadset on keeping the baby was because I wanted to be a better father than my own was. All the odds were against us - I was thirteen, she was fourteen, we weren't even together, I suspect she was into drugs during her pregnancy...but when Amaya was born none of that mattered. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Amaya and I thank god every day that an abortion hadn't occurred.
Also, a few months ago my ex got pregnant (potentially with my child) and got an abortion without ever telling me she was pregnant. I'll never know if it was my child or not, but I was bummed for a time after that. That's just my two cents.