Hey ya'll. I thought I would jump in the conversation although many people would not agree or like what I say.

I am totally opposed to Abortion. Let me start by saying I would not judge another person on their choices. I can only give my opinion and beliefs on Abortion. And since you asked, here I go.

I believe that Abortion is wrong. I have strong feelings about abortion. When I found out I was pregnant I thought about having an abortion, and when I thought about it I picked up the phone and called my mom and told her through my tears that I was pregnant. My parents are Catholic and opposed against *** outside of marriage. I feel abortion can be an excuse for the mistakes that we as humans make sometimes. As people we need to own up to our faults and accept responsibility for our choices. At some point we need to be held accountable. We know the consequences of having *** especially unprotected ***. If we are not ready to have children we should not have ***. If we are not ready to have children and we have *** and get pregnant then whose problem is it, not the childs. Yet time after time we punish the child. Children feel pain inside our wombs. God blessed us with the opportunity to have children, if not for ourselves than for someone else. Why don't more people give up their children for ADOPTION????? Why don't we do that. My mother had me when she was 16, her parents told her to get an abortion and she refused. She left home and had me and gave me up for adoption. I couldn't respect her more. Is abortion selfish??? Do we realize that we are losing our children when we kill them in our womb. Just because they haven't taken a breath of air doesn't mean their heart isn't beating like the rest of ours. They are little people inside of us, I just don't see how we can abort our children.

These are my beliefs on abortion, please do not take them as judgements on others. I can only believe what is in my heart. We all do things for different reasons and we all have something that affects us emotionally and abortion happens to be my topic.

Amen!
The words are just about taken out of my mouth. I also do not pass judgement on people who choose abortion, it's not my place. I have a couple friends who have made the decision and I am still friends with them. Although I did pray a lot for them during their time and continue to do so now.
I'll be honest I don't understand this "I am having intercourse with this person but I am not with them." Or it was a one night stand thing.
Have most people lost that much respect for themselves and others that they have *** with no regard to the consequences?
Now please don't miss take my words. I am no angel by any means. I became pregnant when I was 16 myself. I did get married and then had the rest of my children, but I made the first mistake. I did think about abortion but could never bring myself to seriously consider it. When I look at my 18 year young man now I am so proud of him that I could burst.
Does anyone think about having a relationship first, marraige, then *** and children any more? My father use to tell me that a first time mistake is understandable and depending on what it is acceptable but a second in not, and a third time around is just stupid and unacceptable. Now I worded that a lot nicer than my Dad did, but the point is there. He is right.
Adoption is not walking away from your child. It is a very difficult thing to do. It is giving a child a chance at a better life than what one can provide for them at the time. Adoption is a respectible and noble thing to do for the child.
I honestly think abortion is very selfish. Literally kill your child so you can have a better life, when there is loving good people out there that are more than happy, willing and very greatful to give a better life to that child.
They have actually documented and shown that the baby will move away from the needle during an abortion. I think every person considering abortion should have to have an ultra sound first.
God bless and lots of prayers.

( j3t and toomany )..,.I'm not the least bit offended by your reply, as you said your just expressing an opinion on a topic that I posted ,,,no crime there.I needed to hear what other people had to say. Even before reading your reply's I came to the conclusion that im STILL not sure,,,but im not AS sure about having the abortion as I thought I was ,,,,as others have said the choice is something I will have to live w. one way or another,,,Is it selfish ? ,,,abosolutely ,,,Is it irresponsible? of course ,,( although I WAS on the pill and we DID use protection ) hence the reason i was takin aback. Does *** before marraige devalue my character and morals ? NO,, it just means that i'm ,,,not perfect and human.,,,In a perfect world we would all meet someone, fall in love, get married , and then have *** and THEN children but the reality is it doesnt always happen that way ,,,I really respect your comments ...I'm not so shallow as to not be able to recieve wut you've said because it's absolutelty 100% true bottom line( jpt and toomany ) if anything it's giving me another prospect to consider..I used to say i would never ever even consider something like that but until your faced w/ it you never really know ,,,,I sit before you still pregnant and still unsure, MJ I thoght about adoption but for a very short time ,,,is it ok if i PM you?

quote:

Originally posted by tomany2count:
[qb] Amen!
Does anyone think about having a relationship first, marraige, then *** and children any more? My father use to tell me that a first time mistake is understandable and depending on what it is acceptable but a second in not, and a third time around is just stupid and unacceptable. Now I worded that a lot nicer than my Dad did, but the point is there. He is right.
[/qb]

I understand this concept. And if I had lived life and created a family the traditional way, I would most likely agree. 2Many, I thank you for posting it. I'm sure it is a common view. Some things are unfathomable to many, unless or until they walk in the shoes of the other person.

People go through different stages of life, have different upbringings, needs, wants, standards, etc. Without understanding someones life, personality, upbringing, one can't fully understand anothers actions.

What makes me sad about this, is that this concept and thought triggers fear. Fear of judgement by others. Fear of never being accepted, fear of others thinking 'What is wrong with that girl, two children, two fathers, no marriages?'

I know that the root issue is to not take the chance at all. We all know, it happens. Which brings us to the point of 'I'm pregnant. How could I have done this? Everyone will think I'm stupid. Nobody is going to accept me or take me seriously.' Which leads to: Possible Alternative Options.

Neak - I'm sure your mind is like a whirlwind right now - trying to determine what is best for you.

Hugs!

MJ,
You are very correct in your words and this is why I do not pass a judgement on those who make a decision that I would not make. Like I said I have friends who have made the decision to abort and I am still friends with them. They are good upstanding, moral people.
I can fathom being pregnant, unmarried and 16, I have been there. I have also been in the situation when the doctor told me that my daughter was not going to make it to term and his suggestion was to abort the pregnancy because of the complications it could cause. Being there is what brings me to my oppinion and my decisions. Like you said peoples lifes experances.
I also know that once a person is grown they make the decisions how to look at things and if they want to change their actions or not, not to say it is easy to do.
I can no longer have children and have had opportunities to be with men. I have chosen not to be with them because the relationship is not there. This is my choice because I respect myself and others.
No, I can not fathom sleeping with multiple people or having a one night stand. I do not understand it but that does not mean that I condemn someone who has been in that situation. Especially if they are making efforts to improve themselves, just like I do not condemn people who have used drugs and/or alcohol. I have friends, 2 whom I am very close, that use to use drugs on a regular basis. They did some things that they would not do now in a sober state. This does not make them bad people, just misled at the time.
So I am sorry if my concept brings fear to people. In a way it should. If people had a better family value system, and respect for themselves and others maybe just maybe we would not find so many teen pregnancies and single parents. Now keep in mind I have all the respect in the world for single parents if I didn't I would not be a part of this site. After all I am a single parent myself. I have also made some very poor judgement calls and mistakes that have effected my life, that I would have done differently if I had the chance. We all have it's part of life and growing.
May God bless.

Just want to take time to clarify my post from above.

ToMany -- My thanks to you was (and is) sincere. I have read many of your posts and admire your strength and knowledge. Both are proven in all of your posts. As well as your acceptance and care for others. I know you are not judgemental. And I apologize if it seemed that my thoughts were aimed at you. That was not my intention.

My intention was to explain that it is a common view by many, understandably. I in no way condemn the concept. Just wanted to point out that embarasment, fear, and feelings of failure are some of the thoughts that may / can lead to abortion.

I am a firm believer that we all can do what we must do. Although sometimes it seems like climbing mountain after mountain, I believe we can all accomplish what we set forth to do. Once we accept what we must do, we become accustomed to do it.

Hugs to everyone!

People SAY they don't or wont judge you but in actuality ,,they do,,,,It's soemtimes human nature ,,,I myself have been guilty of it a time or two ( judging others ).

It's the ugly truth. 2many I appreciete your views, but It's just like me saying oh that person has 8 kids she must love *** ,,,just that quick I've judged, not knowing what situation may have wonded the person up that way. ( maybe she adopted or was raped etc )My point is we all do it. Concious or not..saying that a person has no respect for themselves because they have *** and aren't married. That is an opinionated jugdemet ....you label people by saying that's not the the "right way" to do it , but by whose guidlines? ,,,"she has no respect for herself , no morals or values " ,,,that's passing judgement ...I hope i don't come off as angry or unruly. I'm sure we are all grown enough to have a mature disagrement. I knew when i posted it that it would be a controversial topic, there are no right or wrong views it is what is is.

For what it's worth in case anybody is wondering. I dont know if i can do it ( the abortion ) everyday that goes by I'm like whew ,,this is tuff ,,,,I have a book " What to expect when your expecting , I had it from when I had my daughter,, its'been sitting on my shelf but i did not want to pick it up and open it at all because I did not want it to alter what i was considering ,,,but against odds i did ( even though I'd already read it cover to cover )one thing some body said that stuck out with me ( I think i was toomany ) was that i wanted to get rid of it to have a better life for myself,( or something like that ) MAYBE there was some indirect truth in that ,,,( to some dehree) and when I wieghed the pros and cons, some of the cons were exectly that, among other things,I dont know why but i feel compelled to say this ,,,my daughter's fahter and i WERE married ....it just did not work. Bieng a single parent was not on the agenda but things happen,,,anyways i've gone on enough

NEAK,

My heart goes out to you. . .truely!

You will make the right decision for you and your family. You are open to many opinions, and are not just frivolously makeing a "choice". This is a hard decision and many lives will be effected. I commend you for your seeking answers - even if they are answers you did not want to hear. I takes a special person to not sucumb to tunnel vision!

I know my post angered a lot of people who read it, but I wanted to show that there are many things to consider when making such a life changing decision. Not any one answer is right or wrong.

My adoption comment really seemed to hit people hard. I do apoligize, but that is how I feel. I believe that adoption is a wonderful option at times - for the right person. I'm just saying that I would not be able to do it. I would be one of those psycho mom's tied up in court trying to get her baby back. I in no way wanted anyone to think that I was putting women to choose adoption down! On the contrary, it is probably more difficult to do than anything and yes, it does take love to want better for your child.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by NEAK:
[QB] People SAY they don't or wont judge you but in actuality ,,they do,,,,It's soemtimes human nature ,,,I myself have been guilty of it a time or two ( judging others ).

It's the ugly truth. 2many I appreciete your views, but It's just like me saying oh that person has 8 kids she must love *** ,,,just that quick I've judged, not knowing what situation may have wonded the person up that way. ( maybe she adopted or was raped etc )My point is we all do it. Concious or not..saying that a person has no respect for themselves because they have *** and aren't married. That is an opinionated jugdemet ....you label people by saying that's not the the "right way" to do it , but by whose guidlines? ,,,"she has no respect for herself , no morals or values " ,,,that's passing judgement ...I hope i don't come off as angry or unruly. I'm sure we are all grown enough to have a mature disagrement. I knew when i posted it that it would be a controversial topic, there are no right or wrong views it is what is is.

QUOTE]

Neak,
I am sorry if you interpreted my words as judgemental. They were in no way intended that way. I simply asked a question about respecting ones self, and others. I asked if people have lost the regard for the consequences of their actions.

Just because a person does not understand certain actions of others does mean they are judgemental of them. There are a great many things that I don't understand from people but it is not my place to pass judgement on them.

Honestly I missed placed the fact that you are in this situation at the momment. My words may have had better understanding if I had remembered that at the time. For that I am sorry.
I have confidence that you will make a good decision for yourself. You already know that you have to do what is right for you and what you are comfortable with.
I will say some prayers for you and your situation.
God bless.

I had one and it still haunts me to this day. My parents kind of gave me an ultimatum and I had no where else to go, so I had an abortion. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life, and I still suffer from the emotional pain it has caused in my life. It has been three years, and it still hurts. Even though I know God has forgiven me, the thoughts of it can sometimes feel extreme.

I was faced with weather or not I was going to get an abortion in January when I found out I was pregnant. At first I made the decision to because the father wanted me to and I figured I wasn't ready to be a mom yet because I was too busy with other things and too young (23). But after much thought, and discussion with my parents, my siblings, and an abortion discussion group, I decided to keep the baby. I gave birth on October 1st of this year and I look into his eyes and wonder what I would've done if I would have gotten an abortion. I can't imagine my life without him and he is sooo beautiful. Even though it is hard being a single mom, I just look at him and it is all worth it because I love him so much. Even though I wasn't ready I think... well when was I going to be ready? I don't think I ever would have been. Just make sure you are extremely educated on what abortion really consists of. Depending on how far along you are, you have a fetus inside of you, a growing person, it is a life unlike what some people think. Just make sure you think of all of your options before you decided abortion is the answer, because there is always adoption, there are millions of people who can't get pregnant that would want to adopt. Hope that helps a little.

I agree this is a very contraversial topic. I believe you have to do what is right for you. Will you regret it- maybe. You will you feel hurt- maybe. But these are things you need to consider when making your choice. No one can tell you what is best for you. I will not say whether I am for or against abortion, my opinion does not matter. This is all about you.

quote:

Originally posted by jtsmommy2000:
I had one and it still haunts me to this day. My parents kind of gave me an ultimatum and I had no where else to go, so I had an abortion. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life, and I still suffer from the emotional pain it has caused in my life. It has been three years, and it still hurts. Even though I know God has forgiven me, the thoughts of it can sometimes feel extreme.

Well...I would need to pull out the booklet I wrote on abortions...It's called The Emotional Time Bomb...I had it locked up for a few years...

It's almost time for me to take it out again...brush up on the studies I did on abortions..

Your suffering JTS is all too common...there are many many factors for this...what you probably went through if it is still haunting you is called post-traumatic abortion syndrome....

One chapter I wrote about how parents and youth workers sway the person's mind as to wether they should have one or not..some use threats, such as if you do such and such we will not support you....

The trauma actually starts when you become pregnant when it comes to post traumatic stress....my booklet is very intense...there are answers to the feelings you have, and you can reverse them...if you want to, you can pm me here on teh forum, or if you do not have email yet, let me know and I will make other arrangements....

What tends to make post traumatic abortion syndrome worse, is the type of controversy that makes you question the reason why you had one...in some women who listen to that..it can be a lengthy emotional recovery...

I would not consider having one because children are an extraordinary gift and I did have one under tough circumstances and nothing can replace his smile and his giggle