My husband and I have been seperated for a while. We're waiting the year to file for a no fault divorce. It's been hard with him because he just doesn't want to let go of the concept of "us". To be completely honest - I have. I still cherish everything we had together and love him as my children's father, however, I'm not "In Love" with him.
I ended our marriage. There was alcholism, lies, cheating, fighting, and emotional abuse. I was absolutely miserable which was making me not function well as an individual let alone a mother of three. I know I've made the right choice.
I have been in a rather serious relationship with another man, he's wonderful in all his ways and I feel that our relationship is solid as well as stable. He is absolutely wonderful with my three kids. He has two of his own that have placement with their mother. I have never met their mother but I love his kids just as much as my own. His daughter whom I've taken on occasion to go do special things together, just the two us has told me on several occasions on how her mommy doesn't get up so early and never makes lunch, her mommy calls her a *B____* when she's bad, her mommy yells all the time. I was absolutely mortified to hear this from a five year old. Later her 8 year old brother told me the same .. he told me how he wished I was his mom because I talked instead of yelled, I cooked, cleaned, and was nice. And than he said "You love my daddy". This truly bothered me. I hadn't said anything to their dad until today. He was sounding off on his phone with his ex because apparently she doesn't want their kids any longer. She wants him and I to take them. Which would make a crew of five. I honestly have no problems with this.
Point being - I suppose I'm just a bit stresed because it's hard with three let alone five, on top of my ex being a donkey, his ex is a goof too.
I think maybe I'm crazy for actually being okay with all this though. I love him, he loves me, we love our kids and are happy. THat's all that should matter right?
I'm not a perfect mom, but my children certainly don't get called names and screamed at and I feed them. I just feel like I am stepping on toes, but I really do love his kids too.

This is all kind of strange. Any input? What should I say to him? I want what's best for his kids period. I have the enviorment and stabiltiy to provide for them. I just want the added bs from his ex. Make sense?
I haven't even told my ex about it. LoL.

Honestly I believe that you are not crazy. I do see red flags tho. You aren't even divorced and you are in another relationship already and think about taking on someone else's kids. I am not preaching. I did this. Any shrink will tell you this is a BAD MOVE just being in that relationship before taking time to be on your own again.

I am not always one for listening to what shrinks have to say because... hey... life is what it is. Schtuff happens. You bump into wonderful and next thing you know you're having "coffee" and taking on a new life.

As far as dealing with ex's... if his wants to get rid of her kids and the kids are loving you... I would say you couldn't be walking into a better situation. I would worry less about that than the fact you haven't taken time to heal yourself.

Hope this helps in some way... if not... Paul made me say it. Yeah... thats it. It was all Paul's idea.

Welcome to SFV. I hope you like it here.

So since you are already in a new relationship and from the sounds of it, deep in it. Let me tell you something . . . my dad married my stepmom when I was 7. This year will be their 20th anniversary. My dad had us three kids and my stepmom had 2. I remember my dad telling me not long ago how afraid he was that my stepmom would say no when he asked her to marry him, because that meant more kids and more issues . . . .blah blah blah.

What I mean to get across here is if you really want it to work then I'm sure you will do what you can to make it work.

Live life, be happy and I wish you all the happiness