Just a question.. I am a first time mom to my 6 day old daughter.. and I think that it is too early to get her into a "routine" as my mom calls it.. the only one I want to set in at this stage is bath, feed, bed at night time so she gets used to it.. but I think she's still too young to realise that when she cries I'm going to be there all the time (did I explain that right?)
Basically, I want to show her that it's okay.. i'm mommy.. I'm going to be here for you while you adjust to this new environment..
Am I being too naiive in thinking she's too young for a "routine", and should I start now..(like my mom *INSISTS* I should 'cos she'll only take advantage of me')or should I wait a couple of weeks while we both get used to this new situation?
Help!

I definitely think it is way too young to expect a routine! The baby's body knows what it needs, when it needs it and we as their mom are the only ones that can give them whatever it may be, whatever time of day or night! Babies are totally helpless and dependent on us for everything, all we can do is be there for them when they need it!You're baby is not going to take advantage of you. I always liked the bath routine, I don't think thats too early to start, but other then that I think you just have to go with your baby's cues and eventually it will become more routine. My 4th is due in just a couple of weeks, I wish they came out on a routine!

Actually, I'll start with that parents of children in the NICU usually bring their children home and they are on a feeding schedule even if they are just at birth age.

I personally, would not be letting a 6day old cry anything out. I couldn't physically do it. I think it is good not to go to every single sound, btu seriously, they are itty bitty teeny tiny little beings, how can you not pick them up and cuddle them.

I do think you can start a routine. Do things like bathing at the same time of day, I used to dress my kids first thing in the morning, I don't know why, made me feel better. We got in pj's around the same time at night. I did read to them very early on (ok not as much the twins but with Olivia I read very early). I would feed her, changer her, read to her, rock a bit and put her in bed. It didn't mean I wasn't going to pick her up or go to her to feed her throughout the night. BUT, it was the only time I did that. During night feedings I didn't turn lights on, etc.

Is that what she is meaning or is she meaning start feeding only every 4 hours no matter what? Sure, it is good to watch the timing and try and spread them out a bit and try and get a little more in before bedtime, but this isn't something you can decide on. Baby gets hungry baby needs to be fedLOL

Well Congratulations on the new arrival.

I was not on for tight schedules in the beginning. It was all so new.
So I am probably the last that should comment. I had patterns on how things were done, but very little time schedule.
Go with it get to know each other. enjoy it. I understand what your mom is saying, but I think there is a happier medium ground where the baby who is totally dependent on you is not taking advantage but feels safe

Thanx for all your advice...

And Sue.. I have already started the "no fun during night feeds" thing.. boy I learnt that one with my nephew!

But, yeah mom is saying to me I should feed her when I want to.. not when she wants it.. this makes no sence to me.. cos she basically wants a feed every 3 hours during the day (which the midwives told me was perfect) and generally wants a feed between 11-1 and then again at 4.. and that one can sometimes keep her going till I DO wake her up at 9 for a feed.. I think thats not bad.. but then again... I dont really have a basis for comparison.. anyway, just venting

Every 3 hours is not bad at all! So tell your mom you want to feed her when she needs to be fedLOL (OK so that won't work) I think our mom's did this in a totally different age, my mom is on the older side so she really didn't understand any of it.

Sounds like she's doing awesome so far! I'd just keep doing what you want to do. People have so many opinions but in the end, it doesn't matter a bit what they think or say. Do what you feel is right, what feels right.

She is still very young and a routine is probably a little to much for both u and her. I know when i had my son i was just getting used to being a mommy at nineteen so I just went w/the flow. When I had my daguther four months ago i did the same thing. The routine will come. My daguther now has a routine that she fell into and it works for both of us.

Just get used to being a mommy and let her used to being ur daugther. Good luck to u and congrats on ur new baby.

SPIRIT

By feeding and attending your baby when she cries is the way she feels secure and settled. Only waking twice in the night is brilliant for such a little baby, my son was staving every 2 hours and I think I had my first 4 hour sleep when he was 4 months old! Your baby seems to have her night and day sorted waking more often in the day which is great - it is not good when they have that confused. Really you have to go with what you feel comfortable with but I would go with the routine your child is setting. For what it is worth I think you are right she is far too little to realise that you are just in the next room when she is crying, and you will probably find that her routine will be a bit erratic for the first few weeks and that is completely normal too.
Oh and congratulations!!!!

Yes, yes, yes. I am sooooo glad that you all think the same as me :smile: They really did things different 25 yrs ago I guess.. Mom really doesn't understand half the stuff I am doing.. For example.. when I bath Mak.. I got told at the hospital use a different cotton ball for each eye so as to limit spread of infection if there is one.. and she looks at me like I'm nuts and yells that I am not letting my child get any bugs so she'll never get used to it or something.. *shakes head* Man I can't wait to get my own place!! Hehe..
Anyway, thanks again for all the advice.. really has been helpful learning that I'm not nuts :smile:

At some point I figured out, I had to do what made me feel safe. Not what made my mother feel secure. Fortunatly my mom was on the Lamazee end of child birth, cloth diapers, and breast feeding. I didn't do the cloth diapers, but I'm of much the same mind set. So, it was easier for me. But she couldn't understand why I would do some things, like take him swimming when he was about three months old. Hey, the kid loved it, and now he thinks he's a fish!

If you do what makes you feel safe, Makedde will read it and feel more secure. She'll know that you are doing everything to make her safe and healthy. But as much as possible, honor your mother. That doesn't mean take her suggestions. But understand that she is telling you the best she knows, trying to help you. I know it can be really rough when you live with your mom, but try to give her positive feedback on what you can.

She is truly beautiful and you are blessed. Lot's of people are going to give you advice. Use what you want and throw the rest out...she's your kid. :balloon: