My grandma currently watches my daughter while i am at work,and she does an awesome job.She makes sure she eats ..helps me potty train her, pays very close attention to her and lives in a small house which is good so that taylor does not get to far from her eye sight ,,,,my mother (who USED to watch her for me and randomly decided she wanted her " freedom back " has decided that she now wants to watch taylor because she just bought a new car and figures that the money would help her.My mother loves my daughter just as much as i do don't get me wrong eiether way she is in good hands but my mom lives in a 5 bd house, it is very hard for her to keep up with my baby as she watches my niece too, when i use to pick her up i could never find her things, she would be in the same cloths she was when i dropped here off, and she once cut a patch out of her own hair aside from the obvious danger ,,it leads me to belive that my mother is not wathing her the way she should be ,,,not that she is a bad care giver but i dont think she has the time to give my daughter like i'd like her too ,,,before i let my g.ma watch her i begged my mom to continue to watch her cuz Taylor was not to familiar w/ g.ma but now she loves her ,,my mother dropped me cold turkey and now that it is convient for her she wants to watch her. i'm not totally against the idea because i know this will help mom's a lot we just lost my dad in june so there has been an income decrese so for that reason i am considering it. She does not know i feel this way at all she just figures that it's a done deal ,,told me to give g.ma a "2 wk notice" I feel bad that i even have to think about this cuz i know my mom needs the help but ,,,,i just dont know what to do ,,,what if in another month or so she decides she wants her freedom back again? how ill g.ma take it? can someone offer sound advice or an suggestion tools to help me make my decision?

Leave her with your grandma. Your mom is obviously unstable and only concerned with herself. This is your daughter, not her opportunity for income. You can't gamble with your daughter's security, caregiving, and safety just so your mom can make a car payment. You're a mom - you know your gut instinct is to leave her with your grandma. Go with that. The best thing for your daughter is to be in a consistent, familiar environment (that's obviously safe) every day. She can't be going back and forth between your mom and grandma just because your mom gets another whim. You can stand up to your mom. You're in charge when it comes to your baby girl. Don't be afraid of her reaction - it's far less important than your daughter's well-being.

Man, what a situation. Guilt trip central.

Okay, I would tell Mom, hey, I think Taylor has really settled in with Grandma, and I don't want to change her at this time. I'm sorry that I said I would, really sorry about that. But I've been thinking about it, and I don't want to alter Taylor's routines again. She's getting settled in and doing really good. So, at this time I'm going to stay with Grandma. But I'm so glad to know that you're available as back up. That really helps to set my mind at ease.

Tell her what you need to tell her, but find something to compliment her on. Find something you can thank her for, something sincere.

I have to go w/everyone else. Have your daughter stay w/grandma. Ignore the guilt trip and continue w/grandma. Your daughter needs to be stable w/her sitter. It's going to be hard but that's what I would do. Hopefull you mom will take the message nicely and understand.

GOOD LUCK

SPIRIT

Stay with Grandma. She has already shown that she is more stable and reliable than mom. Don't let your mom guilt trip you into leaving your baby with her. Be sure to let her know that your child needs the stability for daily life that she is getting with grandma. Good luck!