I just wanted to say hi to everyone here!!!

Well I'm a single mother of a 14 month old son Austin...who is my life!!! anyways, the father is not in the picture as of this moment, we are going through court in RI for child support payments which of course he wasn't paid anything as of yet....he as of the 31st owes 1200 dollars....but yet asks to see Austin every weekend, when i tell him no he puts up a big fit...at this time he leaves a good 30 minutes away from me, I've seen his parents (fathers) since i don't want to deny them seeing their Grandson, but yet again i can't afford to drive there every weekend, he does not have court ordered visitation, i try to tell him every other weekend ok fine but maybe ya know kick in a little gas money or something, i don't want to leave Austin there by himself since he really doesn't know him seen him about 2 times...
am i wrong???
I sometimes feel bad but then again pay your support and then we will talk...
Last time we were visiting he made a comment about Austin's cough...(upper respitory problems) I got so angry after the 10th time of saying, i busted out in tears and started swearing at him...
am i wrong???

GRRRRRRR....
PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Welcome to the forum Jessie, your feelings aren't wrong really. We'd like to think the non custodial parents would be willing to support their kids financially as well as being there for them physically/emotionally. Just isn't the case all the time. I don't get child support for my daughter but at the same time I also have to be appreciative that her mother does visit with her. I know it's better for my daughter emotionally to be in contact with her mother.
Of course legally without court ordered visitation you could deny him, but I also applaud that you let him visit regardless of his unpaid support. It will catch up to him eventually, such as tax returns that will get sent to you instead of him if he's working for example.

It is great you are letting him see his son, but could he not drive to your place to see him or is that too invasive of your space? I know it is hard to ignore the fact that he is not taking any financial responsibility but as Don says that will catch up with him anyway. I know I found it really infuriating to be questioned about my son when the father did not take care of him at all but and know in my case he had absolutely no comprehension about why that pushed my buttons. I also think it is great that you have taken your son to see his grandparents and you could explain to them that although you are willing to do it, it is difficult to afford as you are getting no support, maybe they could also help with the petrol
Aroha
Zealand

I think it's awesome you put your feelings for his father aside and still allow his grandparents to see the baby. Thers nothingwrong with being uneasy about leaveing the baby until he gets more comfortable with his father and surroundings. I understand your frustration!!!!! Who was he to say something about a cough when he contributed NOTHING regarding the cost of medicine and doctors!!!! My sons father bitches about my son not being circumsized yet i haven't recieved a dime and I couldn't afford it!!! WTF!!!!!!

Well I have to say that I am going through almost the samething. My son is 9 months, two months ago I went and got custody of my son b\c I was tired of being treated that he was going to take my son. Well at that time I didn't have a reason to go and get support form him too b\c he was giving me money. I made sure I kept track.
Well now I have to fight with him to give me money. I have been so stresses out trying to find and job and take care of my son 24\7. HE never asks to see the baby I have to ask him and when there comes a first for him like Timothy's (my son) first halloween he fought with me so he could take him around I told him no and he got mad.
Well the reason I dont go for support is if I do I know that he will not pay it and he wouldnt mind if i throw his *** in jail. Just tells me that he will make sure he tells him son. But anyway either way now matter what i do I will not get money for him. MY main concern is MY son a raising him the best way. So what I have learned is sometimes We are all better off raising our children on our own. It took my mother 25 yrs to realize that I dont want my child to go through what i did. Well i hope everything goes well for you and if you ever want to chat just PM me and i will give you me personal info and that goes for anyone. We all need someone to talk to when we have these emotions running through our bodys.


Give your children a hug and kiss everyday. That is who they will remember who was thalway there for then.

Thank you very much for everyone respnse i truly appreciate it and now i know that I am not alone in this!!! Since I have posted this message he still has not paid a dime or called....he wanted me to call him during the week but I decided not to thinking maybe if he really wants to see his son he will pick up the phone and call me....I don't want him to come to my house, since he does not know where i live which is more for my safety and my sons...there has been a some violenece in our relationship in the past!!!!

Thanks for you help with everything